WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD ???

B'Elanna: I'm sure it felt suffocated by all the [BEEP] regulations of [BEEP] Starfleet and just couldn't

Barclay: Uh, chicken?!! Where?!!! C-c-c-ommander, did I ever mention my problem with small feathered things?

Bashir: It probably heard about my amazing medical skills, not to mention my sexual prowess, and came to get some pointers.

Chakotay: Whatever its reason, whatever its goals, we should respect its right to cross the road and seek its own spiritual awareness.

Charlie X: Because it didn't want to STAY...STAY...STAY...

Chekov: It must have been on its way to assist in saving my life for the billionth time... did I scream this time?

Chekov: Of course, you know chickens were originally domesticated by the famous Russian chickenologist, Vladimir Chickovsky, who in 1435.....

Zefram Cochrane: You all think I'm so wonderful, that I have all the answers! Well let me tell you this - I'm only in it for some soup!

Crusher: If there's nothing wrong with the chicken, there must be something wrong with the universe.

Crusher: Maybe since he couldn't make the other side to get to him, -he- had to get to the other side....

Data: The chicken, in observing that it was on the opposite side of the 20th century Terran paved roadway, was aware that its immediate goal should have been to traverse the distance without interception by an kind of combustion-propelled personal transport vehicle, but I am unclear as to why any kind of domesticated fowl should desire to perambulate upon a conveyance normally reserved for the usage of...yes, sir.

Dax: To get to the other side. Kurzon might have disagreed with me, Tobin I'm sure wouldn't have had a clue, and then there's...

Garak: To get to the other side? Of course not! Do you realize how ridiculous that is? I'm sure it was a simple matter of its farmer expelling it from the coop for...embezzling eggs.

Gene Roddenberry: To boldly go where no chicken had gone before.

Geordi: Well, wherever it's going, I'm sure it'll have more luck with women than I do.

Grand Nagus: Stupid chicken! You don't cross the road all at once! You sneak across it quietly, without anyone noticing! (Inconceivable!)

Gul Dukat: Well, that's a very interesting question...I'm sure we can work out some kind of arrangement to obtain that information that will be to everyone's satisfaction.

Harvey Mudd: Chicken? I don't remember any chicken. No no no, there's been a terrible misunderstanding.

HoloDoc: How should I know? No one tells me anything around here. I didn't even know we added chickens to the crew. All I know is that it would have been nice, BEFORE the chicken went off to the cross the road, if it had remembered to turn me off!

Hugh the Borg: Maybe it wanted to be my friend.

Jake: Check out the babe that just came off that transport!

Janeway: Its primary goal was no doubt to get back to the Alpha Quadrant...and it probably misses its dog.

Kes: It was remembering back to the times when its ancestors crossed roads all the time! They lost those abilities because they stopped using them!

Khan: With my last breath I spit at the chicken...

Kira: I bet those damn Cardassians were after it!

Kirk: You chicken bastard, you killed my son...YOU chicken BASTARD, you killed...my SON...you CHICKEN bastard....youkilledmy...son!

Lwaxana: Oh, Jean-Luc!

McCoy: Dammit Jim, I'm a Doctor, not an ornithologist!

McCoy: Hes dead, Jim.

Mr. Homn:

Neelix: Actually, Captain, I'm not really familiar with the chickens in this system. But, if you can catch it, I can cook it.

Nurse Chapel: Oh, Spock!

O'Brien: No problem, Commander, I'll get right on it.

Odo: I don't know, but I'm sure it must be Quark's fault.

Paris: Well, I think that...say, that's a lovely shirt you're wearing.

Picard: Dammit, that's not for us to answer! It's his fundamental right as a sentient being to determine the time and manner by which he travels towards his goals.

Q: Wouldn't you like to know? Too bad your puny human brain wouldn't be able to comprehend the answer.

Quark: Who, me?

Riker: I don't know why, but I know how: with pleasure, sir.

Sarek: Sometimes logic fails me where chickens are concerned.

Scott: 'Cos ma wee transporter beam was na functioning properly. Ah canna work miracles, Captain!

Scotty: Because she couldna take much morrrrrre.

Scotty: I donna know, Captain, but it's crossing as fast as it can!

Seven of Nine: Crossing the road is irrelevant.

Sisko: I don't care -why- it was crossing the road! All I want to know is -why- it left the coop! So it wanted to "get to the other side" -- there is only -so far- that my tolerance will go!

Soran: His heart just wasn't in it. (Scenes of chicken torture with nanoprobes have been edited out.)

Spock: It was not logical for the chicken to do so, but I have frequently observed that the behavior of chickens is not logical.

Sulu: Don't call me Tiny!

Tasha: That depends...was it fully functional?

The Borg: Crossing the road is irrelevant. The chicken will be assimilated.

Troi: I feel the chicken's pain!

Tuvok: That's not a question we'd prefer to hear from a senior officer. It makes the junior officers nervous.

Uhura: Shall I open hailing frequencies so you can ask it, sir?

V'Ger: To join with the Creator.

Wesley: I'm not sure, but I can figure it out if I reroute these systems and reconfigure the warp field and run a complete internal whootchacallit on the computers and...

Worf: I don't know. KLINGON chickens do NOT cross roads.

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