1.When leaving home, never admit to anyone, including yourself, that maybe
you just might end up at a bear show.
�2.Rearrange all you bears at home
so there is no room to slip another bear in unnoticed. �
3.Always wear
clothing with pockets when leaving home in case you should end up at a
bear show so you'll have a place to keep your hands at all times.
�4.Never, never, never obey the request of a vender to "feel free to pick
them up and hug them."
�5.Never make eye contact with a bear.
�6.Try to always take your spouse with you if you cannot resist going to a bear
show.� This sometimes works as a last resort, especially if they're cheap.
�7.Never subscribe to a bear magazine.� They may look innocent, but
they're dynamite. �
8.Dieting to save the money to satisfy your habit doesn't work.� You end up buying twice as many. �
9.Don't dress poorly in hopes that the vendor won't trust your check or credit card.� They know
bear people are all honest. �
10.Prayer doesn't work.� God loves bears too.
11.Promise yourself that you will look at every bear before buying.� This
may slow you down a bit. �
12.If all the above fails, buy the nearest bear
and "hug it to death."
