Avoiding/Overcoming Addiction

The Lord has inspired his church to place great emphasis upon building strong individuals, and on reinforcing family unity and personal righteousness. This information could be useful in helping individuals or families who have been struggling with the impact of pornography on them.

Addiction to pornography is a type of sexual addiction that involves preoccupation with sex, the human figure, undue fantasy, and a preoccupation with finding and viewing pornographic material. While exposure to pornographic material through the Internet may happen innocently and produce a sense of shock, intrusive thoughts tempt the individual to want to see more.

Addiction occurs when the individual acts on the intrusive thoughts and experiences a "rush," a "thrill" or sexual arousal. When the sexual addiction becomes severe, it can put the whole family in financial, emotional and spiritual jeopardy as the individual begins to act out and have actual sexual encounters outside of the marriage. Even if the addicted individual does not act out outside of the marriage, there are significant changes within the conjugal relationship. Ultimately the family may be faced with divorce (emotional or physical), loss of job, jail sentences, and public shame.

How do you get rid of unwanted images or intrusive thoughts? Our children may accidentally be exposed to pornography, just as in the example given by Governor Leavitt as he spoke at a statewide conference on protecting the family. Also, men and women may have a similar experience at their place of employment. What really works?

One client has a "belief barrier." There are certain things that once they come to her mind, she refuses to accept. She puts them out of her mind, and says, "That's not true." She sets up a boundary to that thought or image. She has actually experienced spirits coming and taking those damaging thoughts away. Then she apologizes to herself.

Another client said that he visualizes the temple and thinks how much he wants to go there to be sealed to his family. Sometimes he is fully involved in his addictive thoughts and fantasies and he feels powerless to stop the excitement and arousal he is feeling. At times like this he only focuses on remaining exactly where he is and calls to mind things he knows are true even if at the moment he doesn't believe it. He has this written on a card to read: "I love my wife and family. I do not want to harm them through the shame my behavior can bring upon them. I have treated my wife as a sexual object and denied her goodness and love for me. I have treated her badly because I thought I had no feeling for her. My addiction causes me to be angry and unavailable for my wife and children. Gradually my addiction has become harder and harder to control. I don't want to hurt my family anymore. I don't want to lose my children's respect. I want to be a good husband and father. I want to put on the whole armor of God. I want to have inner control. I know God will help me. I must pray right now."

Music, pictures, reading can all help, but more importantly the powerful feelings of addiction will go away if they are not acted upon. Recovery from addiction occurs when this process is successfully repeated after each intrusive thought. Over time the thoughts cease.

What really works? Trust in the Lord and a belief that spiritual protection comes from being worthy of the companionship of the Holy Ghost. It is important for even the addicted person to realize the companionship of the Holy Ghost can be with him or her while they fight to overcome the addiction. This is an important reminder for husbands and wives. These words of encouragement can strengthen everyone.

If we look at teaching our children how to develop inner controls, we can do this by personal example and teachings during family home evenings. A family home evening lesson is included in this INTERNET PACKET (Section IV), which contains some guidelines to help you establish family rules for the use of the computer.

Sexual addiction is often accompanied with masturbation. Dr. Victor Cline has stated that when pornography is accompanied by masturbation, the brain is stimulated to increase the chemical production of endorphins which heightens the sexual experience and locks it into the mind. Pres. Spencer W. Kimball has warned:

"The prophets anciently and today condemn masturbation. It induces feelings of guilt and shame. It is detrimental to spirituality. It indicates slavery to the flesh, not that mastery of it and the growth toward godhood which is the object of our mortal life. Our modern prophet has indicated that no one should be called on a mission who is not free from this practice."
(The Miracle of Forgiveness, page 77.)

Sexual addicts should seek priesthood blessings from the Lord's appointed leaders. Sincere prayer, counseling with a professional therapist, and joining a twelve-step support group are often necessary steps to recovery.