I am adding this section in the non custodial moms' site because over the years, it has come to my attention that a surprisingly high number of non custodial mothers are also survivors of sexual abuse.
If you are a child and you have found this page while seeking help or information, please tell someone if you are being abused!!! Call your local abuse hot line (the phone number is usually listed in the very beginning of the telephone directory), tell your teacher, your minister (or rabbi) or any trusted adult - the important thing to do is to TELL!
IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT!!!
A VICTIM OF CHILD SEXUAL ABUSE? Touched in sexual areas? Shown sexual movies or forced to listen to sexual talk? Made to pose for seductive or sexual photographs? Subjected to unnecessary medical treatments? Forced to perform oral sex on an adult or sibling? Raped or otherwise penetrated? Fondled, kissed or held in a way that made you uncomfortable? Forced to take part in ritualized abuse in which you were physically or sexually tortured? Made to watch sexual acts or look at sexual parts? Bathed in a way that felt intrusive to you? Objectified and ridiculed about your body? Encouraged or goaded into sex you didn't really want? Told all you were good for was sex? Involved in child prostitution or pornography?* * Between 500,000 and 1,000,000 children are involved in prostitution and pornography in this country; a high percentage of them are victims of incest. See Sex Work: Writings by Women in the Industry edited by Frederique Dellacoste and Pricilla Alexander (Pittsburg: Cleis Press, 1987). |
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Some of the abuse may not have been physical. A relative or friend of the family may have made suggestive remarks to you. An uncle or sibling may have walked around naked, calling attention to his penis, talking about his sexual exploits, questioning you about your body. Your tennis coach may have badgered you into telling him exactly what you did with your boyfriend. There are many ways to be violated sexually. There is also abuse on the psychological level. You had the feeling your step-father was aware of your physical presence every minute of the day, no matter how quiet and unobtrusive you were. Your neighbor watched your changing body with an intrusive interest. Your father took you out on romantic dates and wrote you love letters. Nor is frequency of abuse what's at issue. Betrayal takes only a minute. A father can slip his fingers into his daughter's underpants in thirty seconds. After that, the world is not the same.
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