Lisa's Movie Rating Scale Continued:
Angie: (2.5) Entertaining schlock, though I like the characters... Stephen Rea, again...
Barcelona: 1.5 Nice sets, nice filming. Intolerable dialogue and how the hell did Joe Mullen get to be the lead character??? This film was on the National review's list of best conservative films in the anti-anti-American category. I thought it was the most pretentious piece of garbage I had ever seen. Refuse to see Metropolitan now. Or indeed anything else by the director.
The Big Easy: Liked it when I was 16, but it's just lame now compared to other police thrillers. Dennis Quaid can't do a convincing Cajun accent.
Batman Returns: Don't even remember the film well enough to comment on it. I guess that says something.
Bad Girls: Good-looking Cowgirls. Revenge. rape. And this is feminism? Liked the sensitive man, which of course means he's got to die.
Boogie Nights: Like the look of the film-- but plot? Focus? What the HELL was the point of this, and why did it waste so much of my time?
Brady Bunch- The Movie: (2.5) Kind of Dull, kind of funny. Only Mrs. B. and Marsha were any good.
Chasers: I dunno why, but I liked it. Chances are, you won't. Erika Eliniak. Guy has good hair.
The Cowboy Way: really bad, but has a few scenes which made half of me smirk. Though I don't know why anyone would bother with this. This screams two stars.
Cinema Paridiso: A word on Cinema Paradiso. If I hear one more person RAVE about this friggin' movie... It was the height of sentimentality. In one week I got an earful from Anka and Ali, extolling its virtues. I had no desire to see this film, whatsoever. I only watched it to see Marco Leonardi, the hottie from Like Water for Chocolate. I sat through a full hour of the damn film before he deigned to set foot on the screen, and when he did, he was about 15, for chrissake. Ridiculous waste of time, though it was filmed well.
Clue: Like Tim Curry and other Characters, but why bother?
The Conjugal Bed: Romanian insanity. A few nice images: helicopters, but not worth it. Brutal.
Cutthroat Island: Miserable acting and dialogue and characters. But I like Geena Davis and Mathew Modine, nonetheless. Like Female Pirate stories and swashbuckling in general, so I enjoyed it in spite.
Death Warrant: Van Damn. Bad movie, nice buns.
Demolition Man (2.5): Sly and Sandra Bullock battle Wesley Snipes. Entertaining Kitsch. 3 Seashells was Ivan's favorite concept.
Don't Tell Her it's Me: Funny if you know romance novels.
Escape to Eden: Racy, but so lame compared to the book, though the characters sucked equally badly. Rosie O'Donnell was funny, and her slave was a peach.
Flower of My Desire: Almodovar. As always, good humor, but his plots are falling apart and becoming more and more tragic. I hate to say it, but my hero is becoming irrelevant.
Four Weddings and a Funeral: Cute Romance, but didn't get the hype.
The Fugitive: Standard action movie, with standard surprises.
Eversmile, New Jersey: Daniel Day-Lewis and some good Patagonian Scenery, but incomprehensible plotline, though the humor was kind of up my alley. A bit sweet. A great idea, but with serious script faults.
Exotica: Good atmosphere, but that is absolutely it. (more like 1.5) I can't believe people think this is INTELLECTUAL. This is ART? This is ACTING?
Fisher King: Why the hell do we have to be exposed to this guy buddy crisis thing, and all the women just stand around and wait patiently for their men to find themselves...WHY? This is Bullshit.
Flatlands: Jeremy Irons, retelling about his youth. Disturbing and made me uncomfortable as hell, for no apparent reason. Better as a silent movie.
Fierce Creatures: Cast of A Fish Called Wanda reunited in this totally irrelevant comedy.
First Wives Club:
Grosse Point Blank: Totally disappointed. Had a good soundtrack, but I was bored. I even switched channels, and I like John Cusak. Just not interesting enough, though I did like the fact that they made his house into a Kwikie Mart.
Hook: Couldn't keep my eyes open. Thought it was interesting that Corporate Lawyers=Pirates. Bud reminded me of the great swashbuckling scene.
Hot Shots: Slapstick spoof of Top Gun. Amusing if you're in THAT kind of mood.
The Hunger: beautiful actors can't save a movie if the plot sucks-- and though this is a Vampire film, I do not mean suck in a good way. David Bowie and Susan Sarandon are wasted. Good lesbian scene between Susan and Catherine Deneuve.
Il Mariachi: Rough, but good action film, but I much preferred the humor and the gloss of Desperado. (And no, it's not JUST because Antonio is in Desperado...)
In and Out: Funny last scene, but a lame-assed attempt by Hollywood to address the gay issue. A waste of Kevin Kline and Joan Cusak's talent.
Jennifer 8: dumb psycho sexual thriller. Uma nude.
Law of Desire: To Tragic for me. Almodovar's blue period.
The Lover: Nicely filmed, but... What's the point? Pedophelia chic.
Lady Jane: (Young Cary Elways, Helena Bonham Carter)
Mystery Date: Ethan Hawke, big deal.
The Match Factory Girl: I was totally disappointed by this film by the same director as "Leningrad Cowboys Go America". Young, plain woman works in a Finnish Match Stick factory, and has the bleakest most uneventful life imaginable. When she is fucked-and-chucked by some guy, she goes into the revenge business. The movie is simple, bleak, hardly any dialogue, and hardly a plot, it's so linear, and it's hardly interesting. When THE CHANGE took place, I laughed out loud... but only for a second. Don't bother.
Mr. North: Sweet and terribly acted with an all star cast that seems totally asleep.
Mrs. Doubtfire: Don't you just wish Robin Williams could do something funny without resorting to sentimentality and dick jokes? Sucked except for the dinosaurs.
Made In America:
Men In Black:
Mars Attacks:
Mrs. Parker and the Viscous Circle: This was indeed viscous. It had such promise. Jennifer Jason Leigh doing her glam Hollywood accent of the 40's... but it just wasn't engaging.
Naked Lunch: Couldn't finish the damn movie. Glad to see that Peter Weller stretching himself to portray a gay character-- but he's still an asshole. Book is more engaging.
Only You: dumb dumb, a nice dumb romance. Good dress
Postcards From the Edge: Good dialogue, but that's it. Drowning in Hollywood angst.
PCU: Offensive but well characterized schlock which will one day be 90's kitsch.
Red: Good atmosphere and filming. Pathetic story. More about women who need fathering. Ridiculous to dress this tripe up as art.
Return of the Jedi: Commercial crowd-pleasing space junk. Like the Endor Forest.
A Reason to Believe: An excellent portrayal of Date Rape, too bed they had to slander this film with an evil and unrealistic plot to "make it a movie." Not a good movie, nor a good approach, but a realistic portrayal of rape and its consequences.
The River Wild: Saw this one in German, too. Better that way, I think. This one is almost a one star. Wasted Streep.
Romancing the Stone:
Romy and Michelle's High school Reunion: Clueless meets Bill and Ted. Liked it, but we're seeing too much in this genre. Loved Jeneanne Gerrafolo, and the Post It scandal.
Rude Awakening: Cheesy, but interesting to see hippies in the 90's
So, I married and Axe Murderer: Like Mike Meyers beat Poetry recitals and his impersonation of his Scottish father. That's it.
Speed: Not fast enough to hold my attention. Dennis Hopper gets to play a Psycho. What a surprise.
The Specialist: Stalone, Stone and that Danish guy.... Tits, Testosterone, Whatever.
Tito & Me: Lame Yugoslav nostalgic piece about a chubby kid who worships Tito. Yet another boy's life....
That Old Feeling: Love Bette and Denis Farina, but she could have picked a better script.
Top Gun: Good kitsch value now. I remember when it came out in the theaters, I screamed "Nuke the Commies" during the scene where the commander sends them off saying "This is the real thing, boys..." The guys in the audience were pumped, but I was only joking. Scary. They set up naval recruiting booths outside the theaters when this was popular. Vive l'epoch du Regan.
Wayne's World 2: great references: YMCA, The Graduate, but can't compare with the original. Loved the Roadie.
What Have I done to Deserve This: I gotta see it again, but I didn't like it the first time. A grim tease.
Withnail and I: Saw with my Brit roommate who thought it was a hoot. I was underwhelmed by the rawness of it. Richard E. Grant and a few hilarious scenes, but over all not worth it.
Young Einstein: We liked Yahoo Serious, but the movie was a bit too dull to be good. But he has such promise....
All other Disney animation films. Sorry Jason. Until they discover something new about the nature of men and women, they are going to remain rediculous sexist icons of the past, no matter the animation technique (Who thinks this computer crap is so great anyhow?). But then perhaps Disney wouldn't be Disney? I dunno. Defreeze Walt. (Pajama Slave Dancers) I want to see a GAY Disney movie.
Delicatessen: never got through it
I love you to death: What a waste of Tracy Ullman and Kevin Kline in this tormented / ing comedy.
King Lear: Goddard's Version. DO NOT SEE THIS FILM, Though we got many hilarious Quotes: "She has seen nothing. NO THING. The silence of Cordelia." This is not a film. This IS Goddard's cutting room floor scraps.
Lovers: Even Victoria Abril can't save this tragedy. The racy scenes aren't even worth it.
Old Enough: Why does this fucking film keep being shown on Bravo?
Paris, France: After seeing this piece of pretentious garbage and Exotica, I am beginning to see a dangerous pattern for Canadian Films.... I think I will be prejudiced against them from now on.
Porn Bloopers: There's no porn, and no bloopers. I just didn't get it at all. The joke was that someone paid money to rent this.
Story of O (Part II) The one with Klaus Kinski. Sucked, was this really a movie? Parts 1 & 3 were good.
Switch: Double standard really was never addressed, but what can one expect from Hollywood.
Bridges of Madison County
Anything with Shirley McClaine
My Girl
Baby's Day Out
White and Blue: Red was enough
Brothers McMullen
Steel Magnolias and any other made for Women Hollywood tearjerkers. What the hell are they thinking anyhow?
Horror Movies
� 1998 Benzin Consolidated Design