1.  Her need for a spiritual leader.
He is a man of courage, conviction,
commitment, compassion, and character.
He takes the initiative in
cultivating a spiritual environment for the family.
He becomes a capable and
competent student of God's Word and lives out before all a life
founded on the Word of God.
He leads his wife in becoming a woman of God, and he takes
the lead in training the children in the things of the Lord.  (Psalm 1,
Ephesians 5:23-27)

2.  Her need to personal affirmation/appreciation.
He praises her for personal attributes and qualities.
 He extols her virtues as a wife, mother,and homemaker.
 He openly commends her, in the presence of others, as a
marvelous mate, friend, lover, and companion.  She feels that to him,
no ones  more important in this world.
i(Proverbs 31:28-29, Song of Solomon 4:1-7,
6:4-9, 7:1-9)

3.  Her need for personal affectoin (romance).  He showers her
with timely and generous displays of affection.  He also tells her
 how much he cares for her with a steadfast flow of words, cards,
 flowers, gifts, and common courtesies.  Remember:
Affection is the environment in which sexual union is
 enjoyed and a wonderful marriage developed.
(Song of Solomon 6:10, 13,
Ephesians 5:28-29,33)

4.  Her need for intimate conversation.  He talks with her at the
feeling level (heart to heart).  He listens to her thoughts
 (i.e., her heart) about the events of her day with sensitivity,
 interest, and concern.  Conversations with her convey a desire to
 understand her, not to change her.  (Song of
Solomon 2:8-14, 8:13-14, I Peter 3:7)

5.  Her need for honest and openness.  He looks into her
eyes and, in love,tells her what he really thinks (Ephesians 4:15).
  He explains his plans and actions clearly and completely because
 he regards himself as responsible for her.  He wants her
to trust him and feel secure.  (Proverbs 15:22-23)

6.  Her need for home support and stability.  He firmly
shoulders the responsibility to house, feed, and clothe the family.
 He provides and protects, and he does not feel sorry for
 himself when things get tough. Instead he looks for concrete ways
 to improve home life.  He desires to raise their marriage and family
 to a safer and more fulfilling level.  Remember: The husband/father
 is the security hub of the family (I Timothy 5:8)

7.  Her need for family commitment.  He puts his family first.
He commits his time and energy to the spiritual, moral,
and intellectual development of the children.  For example,
he prays with them (especially at night by the bedside), he reads to
 them, he engages in sports with them, and takes them on
other outings.  He does not play the fool's game of working
long hours, trying to get ahead, while children
 and spouse languish in neglect.
(Ephesians 6:4, Colossians 3:19-20)

Dr. Joel Horne
Clovis, NM