Closeminded - Personality - Articles about Psychology

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Watch some couples on the bus. It's fascinating. You will inevitably find at least one which is closeminded.

One party is talking to the other one. The one who is talking might be animated, might be trying to say something important, might try to be convincing. The other party is looking away, possibly out the window, possibly looking ahead vacantly, but is trying to avoid listening to the first person.

They're not having a fight.

The party who is not listening has no reason to reject what the partner is saying, apparently. That partner never even listened to what the partner says.

The partner simply rejects everything that is being said from the outset without giving it any thought, without deciding whether it is right or wrong, without considering the merits of the situation.

It's a fascinating study. You begin to wonder about the partner who is rejecting or denying what the partner is saying. The issue of right or wrong doesn't come into play here. It doesn't really matter what the issue is. The fascinating study is that there is a partner who is refusing to listen.

In some cases this partner might be a spouse. It doesn't make any difference. Spouses don't necessarily listen to each other and this spouse or partner or just a casual acquaintance is closeminded.

The partner doesn't have any alternative to what is being said, doesn't have any feelings of right or wrong, doesn't really care about the issues.

Without hearing what the speaker is saying, without considering its merits the partner simply denies and rejects.

What a shame.

By engaging in a discourse or discussion these two people might have been able to arrive at good conclusions that might have been helpful to one or both of them.

But when the first partner speaks so earnestly and with such concern about the issue and the other person rejects and refuses and denies everything that is said, then the first person feels that a lot of breath was wasted and the second person, nebuch, will never learn.

Without knowing the facts or the details the person that you observe that is rejecting automatically has your feeling, you automatically feel that the person who is rejecting is likely to be wrong. This rejection itself is a big mistake and it's very obvious when you watch the couple.

Sometimes the rejecting partner will even turn and give some words of encouragement or mock acceptance such as "uh huh" "yes" "uh huh" or even say something that may or may not be related to the discussion.

That no longer matters.

It is said with the atmosphere of rejection so you know that nothing is really penetrating the person's head. Watch this type of person. It's a fascinating, but sad, study in the way people do or do not interact.

It demonstrates an unfortunate situation on the part of the person who is into denial and rejection.

On rare occasions you will see somebody else becoming involved in the discussion. Generally trying to take sides.

It no longer matters which side is selected in this discussion and the third party is going to lose. Nothing matters. The discussion is lost and that third party will not help.

There is only one person who does need help in this issue. One side that needs to be worked on and that is the side of the person who is not listening. That person needs the help.

That person is not going to receive the help.

That person is going to continue denying and rejecting.

Thus, if the third party helps, comes to the assistance of the person who is presenting trying to present the discussion it will not help because the person who is denying will continue to deny.

If the third party comes to the assistance of the one who is denying that will not help either because that person will then feel that others supported their denial, others believed that the person who is speaking so earnestly is indeed wrong and that will just make them feel more entrenched in their denial and rebellion.

Either side that someone chooses, therefore, leads to the same result.

With a closeminded person there is no side to take. There is no path that leads to reason. There is no way to resolve it.

The only possible resolution is to open the mind of the person who is closeminded.

And no third party can do that. It must come from the closeminded person themselves.

It must come from within.

That can only happen if the closeminded person receives a strong enough patch telling them, whoops! It's time to stop being closeminded.

That's right. No positive issue will correct it. They need that patch.

That's the only thing that will help.

Only after a patch, a verbal patch, an incident that happens, an issue over which they must come running for help and they have no choice but to come running for help - only when that happens will the closeminded person have any hope of opening their mind.

On the one hand, we do not wish on that person to get that patch, to get that reminded, that forceful reminder, that outside reason for having to listen.

On the other hand it's the best thing that could ever happen to the closeminded person.