Many rebellious children leave home in order to prove two points:
They realize that the more successful their rebellion is, the more they can hurt you. They will therefore take any effort in order to demonstrate the following things:
We, as parents, must deal with the children's reverse logic.
If we bring that child back home, he will reverse his twisted thinking.
On the other hand, your child is likely to feel a need to act properly while he is away from home. That is his way of proving that he doesn't need you.
The child's reverse logic should now become more clear. When he leaves home, he must exhibit good behavior. If he is returned to you, he feels the need to demonstrate unacceptable behavior.
The results of any step that you take must reflect this reality.
Granted, the child wants to hurt you by proving that he is good. However, by allowing him to achieve his goal, you will have controlled one aspect of what you want from your child. You will have indirectly motivated your child to be good - at least to the outside world.
This does not imply that your children will face an ideal or good situation by leaving home. That option is not recommended or desirable. However, we cannot ignore the short term benefits that we have derived by letting them have their own way!
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