Know what your parents want - Dating

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Is it really important to know what your parents want when you date somebody, and later when you get married should your dating patterns and the wedding itself reflect the needs or desires of your parents?

The question here is whether you want to decide these issues entirely by yourself or whether you want or need your parents approval.

On the one hand, you might say that you are already old enough to make these decisions by yourself. You are an adult and there is certainly justification to this point of view. On the other hand, although you are going to be doing these things on your own it might be worthwhile for you to at least know the way you want to get started on the dating process and then you can make a decision. Perhaps you could come to a reasonable compromise by communication regarding these things.

Your parents will be very happy to be involved in the process. They will want to know that you are not just leaving them and your parents also have their own experiences and background. They may have ideas and opinions that are valid and that you may want to accept and even adopt.

Granted, you are certainly an adult and in the final analysis you will decide these things by yourself. However, you should be able to be tactful about it because you would not want to create a rift in the family which could have been avoided simply by finding out what your parents wanted.

Once you know what they want or what their ideas and once you have had a good conversation, you've discussed the issues, then perhaps together you can decide how you're going to deal with it. You may well go about it by yourself without their involvement. They may be involved. You'll have to decide this issue together, but it should not be an automatic decision that you're just going to do it by yourself and snub your parents.

There's another issue and that is your age. The younger you are the more you should want to involve your parents. If you are 18 and looking to get married then your parents should be very much involved. On the other hand if you are older and/or living on your own then of course, that would affect the amount that you involve your parents, and it would be much less than if you had gotten married earlier and you were still living at home.

Some children may think that the one who pays for the wedding should have the most say in it, whether it's the parents or the children themselves. While this may indeed be an important issue the issue of money should not be another reason for a rift in the family. Although the parents might not be paying or might pay less, you should still take their concepts into consideration in order to maintain a peace within the family.

Where do you want to go now?

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