You do hope that you find exactly what you want. You hope that your partner has all of the traits, qualities, abilities, and potential that you have so carefully prepared on your list.
However, you are not likely to meet somebody who matches all of your requirements. You can expect to make compromises.
It is important to know what you want in advance. You should be aware of your compromises in order to make an informed decision.
You can then accept and deal with your partner's limitations. Your future life together will be happier because you will have no misgivings, disappointments, or illusions.
You will mold each other's personalities over the course of time. For that reason, you would do well to stand firm about things that cannot be changed, and to compromise on issues that can be learned or trained.
Thus, you may be willing to overlook a bad trait if a person meets a large number of the other requirements that top your list.
There is no way that you can guarantee future success with your training. However, you may be willing to compromise about specific issues that you know about in advance. You will realize that this is the price that you are willing to pay in order to benefit from your partner's many worthwhile or positive traits.
Channa and Avi got along very well during their dating period. They were in agreement in most issues, and they loved each other's personalities. However, Chana wanted her husband to learn in a Yeshiva while working part-time. Avi, on the other hand, wanted to study for an academic degree. After a discussion, Chana agreed that Avi would study in two shiurim every day while completing his degree. They now enjoy a happy and successful marriage.
You may have to make compromises.
These factors may be crucial to your future satisfaction and happiness in marriage.
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