I heard that the leader of one of the Arab countries is about to come to Israel, and they're going to sign a peace contract. There's finally going to be peace.

Well, maybe he's not really going to come to Israel. They might meet in some other country.

Actually, it isn't really arranged. They both happen to be going to the same conference, but that's okay because they're going to talk to each other and then there will be peace, love, and brotherhood.

You see, it just took a little bit of patience. The problem with those Israelis is that they never understood the needs of the Arabs. I've been saying it all along. What you need to do over there, and what you should have been doing all along, is to make the Arabs happy, and then they will love the Jews.

It's a shame that I wasn't able to get this idea through to the proper people who could change the situation. It would have improved the plight of many people who have already lost their lives.

CNN showed what's going on over there, in Israel, and all of that blood and explosions and bombs and screams could have been avoided if they just would have considered the needs of the Arab people and talked to them properly.

Those poor, dirty Arabs just want a bit of land and they want to govern themselves. They want their own police and army. That's all they're asking for. Now, isn't that reasonable? I don't see why you gave them such a hard time.

But now it's going to happen anyhow, and it will end decades of suffering. They will get together with Israel and there will be peace and harmony. I'm very happy.

Bombs

I was going to invest in a house in Israel. But there is no place for me to build anything. The whole country's been bombed out.

That's right. I watched CNN every time there was a bomb. One time I even missed the bottom of the ninth with a tie score in order to watch those Israelis clean up blood from a bomb.

Those bombs have been exploding all around your country. You don't expect me to put my house on top of an exploded hole in the ground, do you? I'm planning to hire people to dig the hole. I don't want any Arabs blowing a hole in the ground for me.

I'm also not going to build a house next to some bombed-out building, or near a bus that's been bombed out.

I told you, there's no place left to build.

Now, I'm a brave guy. I don't usually get scared by things that are going on over there. I would be prepared to go ahead and buy something despite all of those wars, but you guys have got to clean it up. You have to give me a place where I can put down my house. Otherwise, there's no way that I'm going to be able to invest in your country.

Now look, you guys need the money. We also have our poverty, but we hear that it's even worse over there, and I just want to help.

However, I'm not just going to throw my money down the drain. I want to build a house and rent it out, but I need you to give me a location where people will want to live. Otherwise, I'm not going to waste my money.

So you better straighten it out. It's an investment for you, you know.

Guns

I just came back from Israel and let me tell you, it is scary over there. People walk around all over the place and they all have guns. I don't know if they're real. I hope not. But sometimes even girls were walking around casually with these long rifles sticking out of their back. No wonder everybody's afraid to do anything over there. Those soldiers will shoot you if you do anything wrong.

And I just don't understand what they were talking about on the news. Some people want to give Arabs artillery and guns, while others were protesting, Don't give 'em guns.

Gimme a break.

When they get their own land and government, they'll NEED guns. Where will they get them, if not from you? Don't you keep saying your country is a democracy? Sometimes you Israelis are so childish. Come on, grow up!

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