A Texan tried to impress a Bostonian Many forums, such as Yesha, Israeli Politics, and even The Other Shul feature postings from brave people who write to us from WiFi-enabled laptops in beach chairs.
These guys inevitably have superb advice about how those living in remote settlements can prepare and defend themselves against the bad guys.
Just to make sure that everybody understands the importance of their suggestions, they add the following helpful information:
Thanks, guys.
It's good to know that you have great ideas about how we can be heroes.
Actually, we started to forget that our purpose in Israel is to give you vicarious thrills. We know you love to watch as we beat up the enemy for you. Sometimes we get killed or injured too, but hey, that's also entertaining, right?
We're also flattered that you finally realized that we are not regular humans, with homes, families, jobs, plans, feelings, desires, goals, and a need to be entertained. Each one of us could really dress up as Clark Kent.
We do appreciate the fact that you have a much easier and calmer lifestyle than ours. Your greatest worry is how to deal with alternate side of the street parking.
That gives you many advantages. You are blessed with time. You can also understand our needs objectively, since you are removed from our action. This gives you a remarkable ability to think about great ways in which we can demonstrate our bravery for the cameras.
We're also impressed that you would be willing to come here yourself to schlong the bad guys if you could just find a way to leave your big bucks job for a few weeks. As a matter of fact, maybe you can do a better job - we might be too weary to schlong them after years of living under shell fire. You know how that feels too, right?
You're right - we don't understand the challenges that you face, since we don't have the same earning power. And, yes, your big company does much more to support Israel's economy than we'll earn in an entire lifetime.
We also appreciate those dire warnings that you forward to us on e-mail groups. They tell us what the government "really" plans to do. Those warnings certainly do boost our morale, and they remind us why we entertain you.
Keep up the good work, friends, and don't forget to use the right sunscreen.
about the Alamo heroes:
... "I'll bet you never had anyone so brave
around Boston."
Ever hear of Paul Revere?" asked the Bostonian
"Paul Revere?!" asked the Texan.
"Isn't he the guy who ran for help?"
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