Some of us spoiled Israelis living in the Land of Bilking Money have begun to feel sorry for our parents. Yes, after listening to your heart-rending tales of woe, dear parents, we are beginning to understand your continued devotion to the Old Country that we deserted.
The high crime rates which you endure are indeed disturbing. In New York City, for example, people from all ends of the political spectrum, from Meir Kahane to John Lennon, have been shot down with the very equality that has made America great. Your undying devotion to American ideals makes our legends pale in comparison.
But your health care costs are almost a greater crime. Yes, we left that burden behind when we came here. It's difficult for us to understand what a chunk those bills can take out of a salary, especially since our health care remains quite good even though it was nationalized. You're absolutely right - we don't know how we'd manage with those exorbitant expenses in the States.
We are saddened by the sacrifices that some of our religious relatives describe by sending their children to yeshivas in the States. We've heard of people paying annual tuition costs ranging from $6,000 to $20,000 or even more, so that their kids can learn about Judaism and Israel. How can you afford it? It's probably just another one of those inexplicable miracles of living in the States, but we still give you credit.
We also feel sorry for your drug problems (although we're beginning to develop some of our own). Apparently, the American blessing of a chicken in every pot has led to pot in every chicken. We are certain that those of you who remain in the Old Country can give us guidance on how we can catch up on that score.
For now, we'll be satisfied if our chickens can score on the ketchup.
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