http://www.geocities.com/FilmDweeb/buytickets.html
Moviegoer's Guide to
BUYING TICKETS
Before Arriving * When
Purchasing *
Want A Refund *
Main Sections (Mini Site Map) *
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"Enjoy the show!" - yeah, like Amtu really gives a damn
when he says that.
This page last updated on: Wed. Jan. 7,
2004
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Please support Variety - The Children's Charity.
The
next time you're at a participating movie theatre, get a Gold Heart Pin for a $2.00 donation.
A great gift and a great way to help children in need.
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MOVIEGOERS!
PLEASE HELP AMTU HELP YOU!
(otherwise he'll be more sarcastic than this guide!)
BEFORE ARRIVING AT
THE MOVIE THEATRE:
- Know what movie you're going to watch.
- Know at which theatre the movie is playing
(don't look dumb in front of your date/family/friends/etc.by
arriving at the wrong theatre!)
- Know what time the movie is showing. For
best seating, arrive at the theatre at least 15 minutes before showtime, and
30 minutes or longer if you are going on a weekend or holiday; going to a popular movie; or plan to buy stuff
at the snack bar (if you're going in a group, for increased efficiency, have others in your party save seats in the
theatre while you're at the snack bar). Don't forget to factor in the looking-for-a-parking-space time!
- Know the movie's MPAA rating. Do you
really want your children to see sex scenes or people being riddled with
machine gun fire or hear dialogue where every other word is an expletive? Also
know the theatre's child admittance policy. Even if you really don't care what
your children see, some theatres simply won't allow potentially noisy babies and
kiddies into R-rated films!
"Yes, but what movie do you want to see?", Amtu asks after the customer say he wants
2 adult,
1 senior, 3 student - no, 4
student, and uh, she's 1 year old so she's free, um, 5 child tickets.
WHEN PURCHASING
YOUR TICKETS:
- Once again, know what movie you're going to watch.
Don't ask the cashier "What's the best movie?" If you want a truthful answer,
why don't you just ask, "Do these pants make my ass look big?"
- If there is a communications system being used
for talking to a headset-wearing box office cashier, please don't make any extraneous
noises, like yelling at your kids, drumming your fingers, or jabbering into
your cell phone within inches of the speaker. It hurts our ears!
- And don't ask us why we're not showing a certain
movie. It wasn't our decision! (Cashiers are especially amused when a customer
asks about a movie that the theatre had stopped showing months earlier.)
- If you're at a multiplex theatre, please specify the
name of your movie BEFORE telling how many and what kind of tickets you want.
Also, if you are planning to see a later showing of the movie, specify
the showtime after mentioning the movie's title. The computerized ticket sales
program needs to have the information inputted in that order.
- Seniors! Please check the pricing policy! Different
theatres have different age, pricing, and showtime policies. Please let us
know that you're a senior when you buy a ticket. Even if you look old! Many
theatres will ring up the ticket at the regular price rather than risk
offending a non-senior who happens to look old. Non-seniors! Don't try to get
the senior rate when you don't meet the age qualification! The cashier might
ask to see your ID!
- If the theatre offers a student discount, let the
cashier know BEFORE he/she rings up the price, otherwise the cashier will have
to recalculate the price. Why delay the cashier when it'll delay you? And show
your student ID! Don't be a jerk if the cashier won't give you the discount
without your student ID. The cashier is just doing his/her job enforcing company
policy.
- Money. Please don't throw wadded up bills through
the window (Wadded up bills also includes bills that are folded up, especially
multiple times). Throwing anything through the window is extremely rude.
Wadded up money really annoys the cashier since he/she has to unwad, count,
and place them face up in the proper tray compartment before giving you your
ticket(s) and/or change. You're only screwing yourself when you do that,
because, if you haven't figured it out yet, Einstein, it will take several
seconds longer to complete the transaction than if you had politely given the
nice cashier neatly flattened bills*. Plus the cashier will be annoyed and may
intentionally work slower. So stop drumming your damned fingers on the
counter!
*By the way, tri-fold wallets
really suck! I should know. I have one!
- Don't stick your arm through the window. This, too,
is extremely rude, and a disgruntled cashier JUST MIGHT CHOP IT OFF! (heh, heh!)
- Brief conversation with the cashier is okay. Just
don't ask a million questions when the cashier is trying to figure out your
change. Also, when a restless horde is in line behind you, don't try to tell the cashier your life story or how Steven
Spielberg stole your movie idea.
However, if you would like to compliment us, by all means, do so. Our work is
tough enough with rude customers and slave-driving managers.
"Show me the money!" -
Cuba Gooding Jr. in "Jerry Maguire"
SO, YOU WANT A
REFUND:
- Did you have a bad experience in the theatre? Did the projection bulb burn out? Was the picture out of
focus? Was an inconsiderate audience member jabbering on his cell phone during
an important plot point? WELL, DON'T BLAME THE CASHIER! All we do is sell
tickets!
- Be polite and just state the reason for the refund.
If the cashier asks you to do something in order to get the refund (such as
filling out a form or signing the back of the ticket), don't get upset and
argue with the cashier. All he or she is doing is following the arcane
procedures laid down by corporate or general management.
- We really are sorry you had a bad experience in the
theatre. As moviegoers ourselves, we know what it's like when stuff happens.
And don't forget, we're human too. We occasionally make mistakes, so please
remember that before you start yelling and swearing at us!
This website
copyright © 2002-2004 by its creator.
Portions of this page may have been copyrighted by other persons or entities.
No copyright infringement was intended.
Long live file sharing and the free internet!
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