This is like a documentary series. We find host Rob Costus in front of the Hero High campus.)
ROB COSTUS: Today on QBC's Once On Saturday Mornings, we take a look back on a campy show called Hero High (aka Kid Super Power Hour).
(Theme music plays)
ROB: 1981 was a good year for NBC, despite being the #3 network. Before the Lawrence Brothers Joey & Matt, Nell Carter starred on Gimme A Break. Pat Sajak replaced Chuck Woolery on Wheel of Fortune. And NBC's peacock was proud when The Smurfs made them the #1 network on Saturday mornings, halting plans for a Saturday Today Show which would be 11 years later. But the series that followed the Smurfs is what were focusing on this program, The Kid Super Power Hour With Shazam.
(Kid Super Power Hour theme song's heard).
ROB: The show itself was double-cursed from the start.
Except for the cartoon Star Trek, Filmation never had another hit on NBC. Live action shows never worked with the peacock. Land of The Lost was the last live action hit & would never have another live action hit until 1989 with Saved By The Bell. The Kid Super Power Hour had 2 Hero High cartoons & for serious relief, a Shazam cartoon. But there was live action segments as well.
REX RUTHLESS: Weatherman, what do you get when you add 5 Q + 5 Q?
WEATHERMAN: 10 Q!
REX: You're welcome!
(Kids laugh)
MISTY MAGIC: If you laughed @ that, you are weird!
ROB: Corny jokes! City viewers called it a Jr. Laugh-In while rural viewers called it a Jr. Hee Haw. The near end of the show, they would do a musical number.
CAPT. CALIFORNIA: (Singing) You! There's nobody quite like you. You're special, that's right, that's you!
ROB: Hero High, love it or hate it, it's pure camp. Now 20 years later, we're doing a reunion documentary of where they are now. First off, that annoying super hero, Bratman. Back in 1991, he was a star tennis player making the Brunch @ Wimpy Dumb finals.
(At Wimpy Dumb, Bratman is serving to his opponent. They battle back & forth until the ball drops on the line).
JUDGE: 40-Love, Triple Championship Point.
BRATMAN: Hey, that ball went over the line!
JUDGE: The ball was in, Mr. Bratman! (Bratman throws a super tantrum that causes an earthquake around London.)
JOHN McENROE: I thought I never see the day someone outbrats me.
(Cut to a London news broadcast)
NEWSCASTER: Today in the news, here in Jolly old England, we experienced an earthquake. The reason for this unusual weather, tennis star Bratman lost the Wimpy Dumb championship.
ROB: Speaking of unusual weather, whatever happened to Weatherman? Let's switch to QHHW in Las Cruces, New Mexico for that answer.
(At the tv studio).
WEATHERMAN: My real name is Jim G. & I'm actually a real weatherman in New Mexico. I use to be real fat, but in 1991, I followed Dennis Haskins example (Head of The Class) & lost 50 pounds.
ROB: Punk Rock was the songbird (probably a buzzard) of the bunch playing his guitar & singing ooh ooh! Now he's known as Lite Rock. Punk got married & has two sons going to Hero High. One son's named Rap Dude & the other is Drum Teen. Rap Dude likes to use his rapping powers to communicate with while Drum Teen gets his strength whenever he plays a drumroll on a snare drum or tympani. Weird!
(At a Las Vegas casino, we find Misty Magic & Awol performing tricks. She turns Awol into a dog & the dog meows).
ROB: Misty Magic retired from her super hero to be a magician. She & Awol have an act. Misty still needs to learn to read the magic book. Now we come down to the most famous 4. In 1984, there was a super hero wedding as Captain California & Glorius Gal tied the knot. However, Rex Ruthless tried every dirty trick to call off the wedding that he was taken away to jail.
REX RUTHLESS: I should have been married to Glorious Gal. But old "sparkle teeth" had to get the girl instead. Isn't it enough that the mega gleem hero was the poster boy for the Dental Care Association? Not only that, I lost Dirty Trixie to...
ROB: Trixie broke up with Rex & fell in love with another hero, Good Book Dude. In fact, she's now Clean Trixie.
CLEAN TRIXIE: When I met Good Book Dude, it was love @ first sight. He really knows how to spread his gospel message around & I was reformed from that point.
ROB: So what about Captain Cal & Glorious Gal? They still fight crime & try to raise a family. Their son is known as Captain Texas while their daughter's Beautiful Becky.
CAPTAIN CALIFORNIA: I still have my surfboard, Wipeout. But my son's a little different. He glides on a skateboard. He also got my singing voice but can also play the guitar.
ROB: So there you have it. A small glimpse of our Hero High characters.
READER: What about Peter Penguin & Giggler Hyena?
ROB: They belong in a zoo. Thanks for reading.