Frank Ochieng is a guest critic who also writes reviews for his own personal website, located here.

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Review Uploaded
07/12/02

Frank's film tip: Hey Arnold...you gotta movie of your own! And guess what kiddo...so what? The football-faced tyke wants us to go along with his animated adventures on the big screen. Question is: will the kiddies follow along in a grand showing?

In the scheme of things, Arnold and company aren't the only culprits responsible for bringing to life the dull and half-witted high jinks of "Hey Arnold! The Movie" on the big screen. The finger also needs to be firmly pointed at Arnold's employer Nickelodeon, the TV cable network that caters to the kiddie sect in droves. And so this vastly popular football-faced tyke Arnold gets his chance to shine in his own animated feature length film. With the formidible showing of such previous hits as "Rugrats" and "Jimmy Neutron", "Hey Arnold! The Movie" is simply kiddie fare without flair. This is an unimaginative, flat and poorly conceived kiddie clunker that is more charming for free on the boob tube airwaves than it is for kids to flock to the cinema complexes and see pretty much the same giggly exploits at a costly price. If one thought that the existence of "Lilo & Stitch" was an unfortunate waste of time, wait until they get a load of this pigskin-pated punk and his so-called adventures! If this is a ringing endorsement, then the following statement is unintentional: "Hey Arnold! The Movie" is simply another flick that the parents can ditch their kids for nearly an hour-and-a-half of peace during the summertime blues.

This sporadically entertaining and spotty story tells the tale of Arnold and his pals Gerald and Helga as they try to thwart the efforts of a greedy corporation trying to develop a spanking new shopping mall in their beloved albeit rotting neighborhood. The sinister force behind this ambitious yet ruthless project is Scheck, a heartless mogul that has intimidated too many people once too often. But Arnold fortunately discovers that there's a document anoiting his neighborhood as an unlikely historical landmark. The task of obtaining that document is a monumental one, though. If Arnold and his nimble sidekicks are to prevent the evil Scheck from demolishing their precious squalored area, they need to get that document protecting their homes and quick!

As the kids try to do something constructive in terms of saving their neighborhood, the clueless adults are the ones that are in a panic and appear in a quandry about Scheck's dastardly deed. So what is their solution you ask? Well, the grown ups decide to blast their main streets rather than have Scheck and his handlers do it! Huh? Look, I realize that this is a carefree cartoon and all, but how stupid is this agenda...even for a callow piece of animation such as this? Why would these nitwits contribute to the plan of what Scheck wants to do anyway--which is to destroy their property? All they're doing in this matter is saving the villainous Scheck all the trouble of leveling their neighborhood himself! (note to self: try not to question the logic of an illogical and scatterbrained cartoon that's drawn with the animated prowess of a shivering one-armed man with arthritis!).

If one were to blink, I would gather that "Hey Arnold! The Movie" was meant to be some sort of satire on the savvy nature of fearless and curious adolescents at the expense of a restrictive and cynical adulthood. The clash between generation gaps is a cute and silly-minded thought-provoking way to push the notion that a.) kids don't get enough credit for their resiliency as free-thinking human beings still learning about themselves and the world around them and b.) that the adults could learn a thing or two about the wide-eyed innocence in the tykes they sometimes take for granted. However, this sluggish animated farce never rises to that sentiment because it doesn't have the credibility, patience or common sense to push this platitude.

While it would have been nice to see the clever way this intentionally wiggly-drawn cartoon could have undermined the pertinent message this film tries to convey, "Hey Arnold! The Movie" misses the mark and is never crafty or courageous about its lacking presentation. This feels like some amatuerish exorcise/course in Kiddie Conscience 101. The kids will probably acknowledge the film as a typical cut-up showcase where the proactive kids like Arnold and his hangers-on sock it to the establishment whom haven't a clue in the least. Gee, that's a cozy little message to send to kids as if they don't misbehave and disrespect authority already, huh?

"Hey Arnold! The Movie" hints at the dysfunctional bond between kids and their more mature counterparts but that's not palatable enough to make this lame kiddie fable a servicable and highly-spirited piece of entertainment. I'm sure that Arnold and his cast of characters could continue to grow on the children's psyche in its original humble beginnings of "Hey Arnold! The Nickelodeon TV Show".

Frank rates this film: stars