Guest Critic Article:
A SECOND OPINION
Frank Ochieng's Top Ten Best and Worst Films of 2002

Frank Ochieng is a guest critic who also writes reviews for his own personal website, located here.

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01/10/03

Written by FRANK OCHIENG

Well gang, another movie season has come and gone. The year of 2002 had quite a few noteworthy gems to consider. Although 2002 won't go down as the most memorable movie season to date, it did manage to muster up some decent ditties that moviegoers were able to embrace with noted anticipation. Thus, I want to offer my distinctive selections for what I deemed the cinematic "top of the crop" for 2002. Despite the cynicism that exists (and with understandable cause), moviegoers do have a certain responsibility for seeking out quality and crafty films that reflect a sense of adventure and self-awareness.

So now, in alphabetical order, I’ll present what I consider the top ten best films of 2002. Let’s relive the joy, shall we? The following selections are presented in alphabetical order:

1.) About Schmidt [click for review]: Resilient filmmaker Alexander Payne (“Election”) delivers a blistering account of alienation, isolation and silent grief in his bittersweet character study of Nebraskan career insurance man Warren Schmidt (Jack Nicholson) retiring from a job that has given him somewhat of a distinctive identity and purpose. Settling into the retirement mode hasn’t been all that easy considering Schmidt’s personal issues that force-fed his lingering anxieties. After his wife passes away, Schmidt must come to grips with his conflicted existence. Whether trying to stop his grown daughter from marrying a clueless waterbed salesman or fending off wacky forces that dare to disrupt his mental funk (refer to the hilarious Kathy Bates as a flirtatious ex-hippie chick), Warren Schmidt is in a downward spiral and uses a road trip to the West Coast to do some mighty soul searching. Payne reigns as one of the most effective social satirists in cinema today. And the Oscar-caliber performances by Nicholson and Bates reinforce Payne’s potent, cynically heartfelt narrative.

2.) Adaptation [click for review]: Collaborators Spike Jonze’s dazzling direction and Charlie Kaufman’s caustic screenplay has produced one of the most entertainingly bizarre and challenging films since their input regarding the exceptionally twisted Being John Malkovich. This story finds the talented writer Kaufman (Nicholas Cage) trying to adapt author Susan Orlean’s (Meryl Streep) treasured novel The Orchid Thief for the big screen while dealing with his shady fellow screenwriting twin brother Donald (also played marvelously by Cage) who’s not so ambitious creatively. Stingingly wry and off-kilter, Adaptation is delightfully devilish and absorbing thanks to the energetic tandem of Jonze and Kaufman’s artistic influence coupled by inspired performances from the top-notch cast of players.

3.) Catch Me If You Can [click for review]: A wickedly nostalgic spry cat-and-mouse crime caper from the imaginative mind of visionary filmmaker Steven Spielberg. Frank Abnagale Jr. (Leonardo DiCaprio) is a playful con artist that loves to impersonate professional people while swindling millions of dollars in the process. Meanwhile, it’s up to no nonsense square peg FBI Agent Hanratty (Tom Hanks) to put a stop to the roguish criminal’s elaborate illegal activities. This may be one of Spielberg’s lightest films in terms of content, but the celebrated moviemaker turns this frivolous premise of mischievousness into a durable and intriguing psychological chase picture. And casting the likes of DiCaprio and Hanks is a clever move in attempting to give this ditty a sense of complexity and universal appeal.

4.) Far From Heaven [click for review]: Todd Hayes does an exceptional job of capturing the essence of the Douglas Sirk social-minded melodramas that dominated the big screen in the mid to late 1950’s. Hayes craftily manipulates his narrative dedicated to the Golden Age of moviemaking. He does this by slickly piling up on the taboo subject matter of race, sexual identity, and pseudo-Eisenhower-era family values. Julianne Moore shines as Cathy Whitaker, a suburban wife and mother who tries to embody the ideal suburban lifestyle only to in fact shield against the blatant domestic lie she’s been living. Because of her marriage to an alcoholic, emotionally distant homosexual (Dennis Quaid), Cathy finds herself falling for the articulate, sensible, understanding and handsome black gardener Raymond Deagan (Dennis Haysbert) much to the dismay of her outraged colleagues. Far From Heaven is a savvy and intuitive satire that effectively utilizes its dramatic overtones.

5.) The Kid Stays in the Picture [click for review]: Brett Morgen and Nanette Burstein deliver a shrewd and insightful documentary recalling the sometimes triumphant, sometimes tumultuous days of Hollywood heavy-hitter movie producer Robert Evans. In fact, the interesting tidbit behind this jolting showcase is that Evans is afforded the opportunity to provide narration for his own legendary exploits that range from his touted heyday as a notorious womanizer to the prominence and power as Tinseltown’s tanned titan of entertainment. As “The Kid”, Evans doesn’t disappoint (along with Morgen and Burstein) as we are introduced to the succulent details involving drugs, broken marriages, financial discourse, depression-in other words, the good sordid stuff! The Kid Stays in the Picture is an enticing look at the dominance and dysfunctional aura that is the number one fantasy-driven dream machine known as Hollywood.

6.) The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers [click for review]: Peter Jackson’s extravagant follow-up to the equally impressive predecessor The Fellowship of the Ring. Jackson’s impeccable direction and visual assault of breathtaking grandeur definitely brings robust life into J.R.R. Tolkien’s mythical utopia of hobbits, wizards, Middle-earth, war, romance, etc. The Two Towers is as defiant as it is passionate. This volatile yet whimsical story delivers an old-fashioned premise of good vs. evil. However simplistic that may be, Jackson captures the majestic and cunning spirit that translates effectively in Tolkien’s throbbing trilogy.

7.) Murderous Maids (Les Blessures Assassines) [click for review]: Writer-director Jean-Pierre Denis’s captivating and shockingly brutal account of France’s Papin sisters and their 1933 heinous act of murder perpetrated against their employer and her daughter. This absorbing, macabre tale is as provocative as it is uniquely unsettling. Both homicidal siblings were not only unassuming household maids turned into gradual unstable killers but also incestuous lesbian lovers to boot. Denis creates a moody and mundane period piece that is joyfully disturbing in its haunting cinematic skin. Try ordering these deranged domestic damsels to dust the furniture and see what you get for your trouble!

8.) The Piano Teacher (La Pianiste) [click for review]: Writer-director Michael Haneke’s riveting and provocatively compelling look at sexual frustration in the complex person of Conservatory piano professor Erika Kohut (Isabelle Huppert) and her twisted psychological obsession with “visiting the dark side” of her otherwise passionless life. It doesn’t help that Erika, a forty-something professional woman, still lives with her overbearing mother thus reminding her how much she’s been missing both intimately and socially. Whether trying out her voyeuristic tendencies by watching others fornicate or cutting herself up with blades as a sense of perverse sexual gratification, Denis presents a revealing and complicated study of a desperate spinster looking to escape her drab, unfulfilling existence. Huppert delivers a brave and complex performance as the frigid middle-aged maiden looking to add spice to her absent romantic life even if it means sniffing used Kleenexes to give her erotic stimulation.

9.) Spirited Away [click for review]: I was rather quite surprised that the wonderfully intoxicating Japanese animated adventure Spirited Away didn’t make the magical impact with western movie audiences as it did back in the Far East. Anime genre giant Hayao Miyazaki (Princess Mononoke) is an extraordinary storyteller so the tale being told in Spirited Away is understandably vibrant and resonates with so much profound passion. Fragile heroine Chihiro is tossed into a lyrical world of nonsensical images in another dimension and in the process looses her pushy parents in this bizarre field trip. Chihiro must fend for herself and plot to reunite with her folks. As an animated feature, Spirited Away is lavish and visually soothing. Contemplative in its meditative state, Miyazaki’s radiant narrative deserved the acknowledgement from North American moviegoers who wouldn’t mind the thought of surrendering their senses to this engaging little gem of a movie.

10.) Y Tu Mama Tambien (“And Your Mother, Too”) [click for review]: Alfonso Cuaron’s alluring and spicy road picture that pits the hormonal emergence of a couple of teen studs (Diego Luna and Gael Garcia Bernal) with that of hot-looking 28 year-old babe Luisa (Maribel Verdu) who is stuck in marital stagnation. The boys urge Luisa to travel with them to a “relaxing destination” where they all can get away from their current routine. Of course the road trip serves as the catalyst for them embracing their self-discovery both sexually and emotionally. Cuaron not only establishes a lusty vital connection amongst his wandering protagonists but he allows us to take a roving eye to Mexico’s economic climate by contrasting the landscape of rags and riches, beauty and squalor, the advantaged and the disadvantaged, etc. This is an erotic and taut film that dares to dot the “I’s” and cross the “T’s” as we play willing passenger to the Cuaron’s profoundly risque’ road trip.

HONORABLE MENTION:

Roger Dodger [click for review]: Dylan Kidd’s impressive coming-of-age saga is the lightweight version of Neil LaBute’s bluntly penetrating In The Company of Men. Kidd’s involving examination of misogynistic Manhattanite advertising copywriting cad Roger (played brilliantly by Campbell Scott) is indeed a scathing and darkly comedic commentary on the fragile nature and protocol of sexual politics. When Roger receives a spontaneous visit from his hormonally inquisitive teenaged nephew Nick (Jesse Eisenberg), the sharp-tongued lothario decides to school the kid on the virtues of scooping hot chicks. Of course Roger’s philosophy in hooking babes is both self-destructive and shamelessly laughable. Although there’s a pitiful and divisive method to Roger’s way of male bonding with his impressionable young relative, Kidd is insightful enough to show us that Roger’s ignorance toward himself and the women he targets as wildlife game is indeed a sad cry for help. Roger Dodger is a tragic yet keenly spunky treat to behold in the arena of sexual manipulation.


It’s a regrettable process but nevertheless a shameless reality-the thought of enduring cinema stinkers throughout the imperfect movie season. But I suppose that one can make an argument for having celluloid duds as an omnipresent obstacle. After all, you cannot have good without evil, health without sickness, day without night, young without old, etc. In any event, the 2002 movie season shouldn’t be any different in terms of serving up some crappy offerings that previous years have cooked up in foul fashion. Hey, maybe one person’s sour note is someone else’s sweet music. Trust me, there’s nothing to sing about regarding the selection of inferior flicks that infested the big screen this past year. Consequently, it’s inexcusable for filmmakers not to put their best foot forward creatively. It’s even more incomprehensible for film fans to willingly swallow a pitiful pill that is the lackluster presentation of woeful moviemaking.

Hence, in alphabetical order, I present what I consider the top ten worst films of 2002. Proceed-at your own caution of course!

1.) The Adventures of Pluto Nash [click for review]: An overproduced cheesy and abominable futuristic space-aged waste that featured Eddie Murphy as an ex con-turned-nightclub owner who gets chased of out his moon-based business by no nonsense intergalactic mafia members looking to bust in on his piece of the action. Before hastily ushering this ridiculous rocket-sized ruse out to unsuspecting moviegoers, Warner Brothers had kept this crappy crater flick on their shelves for two years. Why they felt like releasing this obvious sci-fi stinker is clearly beyond anybody’s comprehension. Maybe they figured they could capitalize on Murphy’s big screen resurgence? Showtime? I Spy? Those two specific flicks doesn’t necessarily inspire any confidence to ride Murphy’s cinematic coattails therefore giving just cause to squeeze some box office pennies out of the painfully unfunny Pluto Nash. Bad timing, bad concept, bad experience. This clumsy cosmic comedy was about as appetizing as licking the soot from the surface of planet Mars.

2.) Ballistic: Severs vs. Ecks [click for review]: The film’s title was awkward and banal enough. But nevertheless, the predictable did occur: so-called filmmaker sensation Wych “Kaos” Kaosayananda helmed a sensationalistic brainless actioner that aptly reflected his nickname-“chaos”. He went ballistic alright by conjuring up an inanely boisterous action thriller that featured a miscast Antonio Banderas as former sulking Canadian FBI Agent Jeremiah Ecks edged into returning to duty in order to stop the ruthless force of curvy deadly damsel Severs (Banderas’ Play it to the Bone co-star Lucy Liu). This wrecking crew session of crashes and explosions coupled with slow-motion fight and gunplay sequences is random nonsense despite Kaos’s attempt to concoct a high-voltage thriller. Ballistic is feverishly glossy in its cartoonish violence but easily forgettable and disposable. More like Severe vs. In-“ecks”-cusable…if you ask me!

3.) Feardotcom [click for review]: William Malone’s directionless and clichéd-driven scarefest tried unsuccessfully to blend the elements of the Internet craze with that of conventional horror-themed tactics of gore and guts. Feardotcom could have made for a demented yet delicious spookfest satire. Instead, the morbid movie fell victim to its insipid and tiresome ghoulish gimmick. The film tells the tedious tale of an Internet-based site and its deadly influence when one logs into its venue. The penalty: the online visitor dies within 48 hours of strangely viewing its haunting, hypnotic images. There’s no solid suspense here, just overwrought hysterics matches by uninspired and transparent performances by droopy-eyed leading man Stephen Dorff and a supporting cast of players stuck in this creepy quagmire of utter nonsense.

4.) Femme Fatale: The question remains: is Brian De Palma losing his cinematic touch? One would think so when viewing the stylized but overtly generic and staid suspense thriller Femme Fatale. Rebecca Romijn-Stamos plays a bisexual beauty that happens to be a crafty jewel thief. As Laura Ash, she ditches her accomplices at the last minute and runs off with the goods by conveniently switching identities with a desperate look-a-like in a Parisian hotel suite. Are you still with me so far? Anyway, she manages to elude her equally deceptive associates. It isn’t until years later that an opportunistic photographer (Antonio Banderas) flashes her picture as the wife of a newly prominent American ambassador to France. This of course circulates around Europe hence awakening the interest of her former partners-in-crime who have a score to settle with Ms. Ash. Sounds convoluted, boring, predictable and exasperating? Hmmm…I thought so. Femme Fatale marks the creative bankruptcy of a once intriguing and engaging filmmaker in the person of Brian De Palma.

5.) The Hot Chick [click for review]: Fratboy film star Rob Schneider is a lot like luggage-he’ll be there sitting around all over the place until someone decides to pack him away in the dark closet where he belongs. No such luck since Schneider is back in full force with another needlessly dopey vehicle in the form of the juvenile “switching bodies” gender comedy The Hot Chick. Schneider gets a rude awakening when his scrappy frame is possessed by a self-absorbed gorgeous high school while she gains redemption based on her experiences trapped inside a doofus. Well, movie audiences got a rude awakening, too. It’s the awful thought of wondering what other callous conveyor belt comedy that will be on the horizon involving Schneider’s pending high jinks. Anyone for The Animal II?

6.) Master of Disguise: Shouldn’t Congress pass a law that states no former or current Saturday Night Live personalities should gravitate toward the big screen? Hey, wishful thinking. Anyway, poor Dana Carvey is the latest casualty to continue the SNL curse by starring in a punishing, disjointed and idiotic comedy Master of Disguise. The movie does incorporate Carvey’s penchant for mimicking various people and introducing cut up characterizations. But the charmless script doesn’t support Carvey’s ability to present worthwhile frivolous characters within the framework of this flaccid flick. Hence, his talent for mocking exaggerated caricatures is lost in the spectacularly awful material. This whole spectacle is slight and unforgivable: familiar and exhausting Italian stereotypes, goofy situational plots, lazy direction, etc. As participants in Master of Disguise, Carvey and company should consider hiding behind masks after assaulting us with this trivial tripe.

7.) Pinocchio [click for review]: Oscar-winning Life is Beautiful star Roberto Benigni co-wrote, directed and acted in his version of the Carlo Collodi classic children’s tale Pinocchio. Where should one start regarding this overwrought atrocity? Let’s start with the creepy notion of a 50-year old guy with a receding hairline playing the title role of the wooden youngster in the ill-advised attempt to be joyful as a man-child puppet. And of course, we can work from there! Everything about Benigni’s transparent narrative is stultifying-from the tacky animated set designs to the exploding loud costumes that look like they were purchased at a Fellini used clothing store in downtown Naples. In addition to Benigni serving up this woeful display of pandering juvenile sentimentality, he never bothers to instill any genuine majestic vision pertaining to his wooden wonder boy in an effort to make this character his own (other than the fact that Benigni plays the lead role of a mature puppet who can easily be a grandfather to a bunch of toy blocks). Instead, he elects to corrupt Collodi’s familiar and treasured story with his rancid cinematic touches. Pinocchio is a disastrously gaudy and grotesque showing by a zany artist who has all the jittery charm of a popcorn kernel.

8.) Rollerball [click for review]: John McTiernan’s excitable extreme sports thriller takes a dive in its showy story of a hotshot athlete (Chris Klein) who’s invited to join the North American Professional Sport circuit based upon the hearsay of his buddy Marcus (LL Cool J). This movie is nothing more than a loud and erratic vehicle that basks in its raucous groove with an energizing soundtrack and futuristic verve that gives this extraneous flick its ribald drive. But with this aside, Rollerball is still an assaulting bomb that meanders on without any rhyme or reason. McTiernan’s showcase has the slick packaging but the contents still remain the same: a lackluster actioner caught up in its own insufferable fumes.

9.) Serving Sara [click for review]: Reginald Hudlin’s mismatched screwball comedy assembles patchwork antics led by Friends star Matthew Perry as a befuddled process server trying to bestow divorce papers on a Texas millionaire’s shapely trophy wife (Elizabeth Hurley). However, the beauty promises Perry the moon and the stars to team up with her and serve the papers to her cheating hubby instead. Predictably, the tandem ends up falling for one another amidst the zany mayhem. The typical craziness abounds in a farcical dud such as this: slapstick stunts, cartoonish mobsters, trite romantic set ups, tired chase sequences, mawkish misunderstandings, etc. Serving Sara is sloppy, lame and conventionally pedestrian.

10.) Swept Away [click for review]: Madonna stars as a married spoiled socialite taking a cozy Mediterranean cruise until the unspeakable happens-she becomes stranded on a desert island with the ship’s hunky seaman Pepe (Adriano Giannini) whom she treated shabbily on many previous occasions. In order to survive, Madonna must shed her nasty self-serving disposition and succumb to the demands of the newly empowered Pepe. Writer-director Guy Ritchie tries desperately to direct his celebrated wife in an exotic adventure meant to showcase his spouse’s dramatic impulses. But this is a monumental task because…well, it’s Madonna we’re talking about folks, not Meryl Streep! And thus The Material Girl contributes to her consistent string of cinematic stinkers with one of the most ludicrous, inert and lifeless films to register no ounce of feeling or purpose. Pulled from theaters just after three mere weeks in its theatrical run, Swept Away was a shipwrecked concept from the get-go. For beleaguered movie audiences and critics alike, we felt more marooned by this doomed romantic adventure than the actors themselves!

Honorable Mention:

In Praise of Love (Eloge De L’Amour) [click for review]: This is a scattering and inarticulate ball of confusion by legendary French New Wave filmmaker Jean-Luc Godard. In Praise of Love is surprisingly dour and meandering, never gaining any momentum in its ode to life’s wonderment. As a moviemaker, Godard has always had the ability to be expressionistic and imaginative in his visionary stride. But in Priase, the 71 year-old completely lost it while hammering on about loose-minded existential topics ranging from the complex human condition to the disdain for American commercialism in filmmaking. Godard’s meditation is a rambling manifesto that feels so senseless and empty-minded in forethought. Godard’s exposition is somewhat inexplicably angry and unfocused in its presentation. Although being cantankerous is a colorful personality trait for the Nouvelle Vague elderly artist, it certainly doesn’t transfer well for his unbearable ponderous project.


� David Keyes, CINEMA 2000. To keep the content of these pages at near-perfect quality, please e-mail the author here if the above review contains any spelling or grammar mistakes.
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