LOVE, ME By: Lauren Taylor ### OK, notes. Please read the story "New Horizons" before reading this story. This is a sequel that takes place 5 years later. Have tissues ready. Don't say I didn't warn you. This story is dedicated to Kirsten Clemmensen, who gave me a good idea for something for B'Elanna to say in this story. If I say anymore about that, I'll ruin the story. And, here's a song that inspired the story! Well, the chorus of the song, anyways. "Love, Me" by Collin Raye. If you get there before I do Don't give up on me I'll meet you when my chores are through I don't know how long I'll be But I'm not going to let you down Darling, wait and see And between now and then til I see you again I'll be loving you Love, me ### ************************************************************************ "Mommy, when is Emily coming?" five year old Serena asked. "Soon, I hope." B'Elanna Paris sighed and leaned back on the couch of her and Tom's quarters. "How did Emily get in there?" the little girl asked, looking at her mommy's nine months pregnant belly. Tom and B'Elanna looked at each other, with a grin on their faces, and both silently dared the other one to tell. "Sweetheart, I think it's your bedtime." Tom said as he picked his daughter up. B'Elanna giggled, and sat up slowly as she followed her husband and daughter into Serena's bedroom. ************************************************************** "Tom? Tom? TOM!" B'Elanna called out in the middle of the night. He sat up quickly, and looked at her, alarmed. "It's time." she said through her staggered breathing. Tom bolted out of bed, and ran to get Serena. "Come on, Serena. It's time to visit uncle Harry." he told her out in the living room. B'Elanna walked out, and gave Tom one look that said it all. They had to hurry. He ran out to take Serena to Harry's, and B'Elanna walked out to the turbolift to wait for him. She felt a wave of dizziness come over her, and she collapsed to her knees, panting for air. ********************************************************** "B'Elanna's in labor. Take Serena, we'll get you two as soon as there's news." Tom said all in one breath to the barely awake Harry. Serena, also barely awake, took Harry's hand, and walked in. Tom gave them a grin, and then ran off towards B'Elanna. As he turned the corner, he saw her hunched over. He ran straight for her, and helped her up. She supported her entire weight on Tom as he assisted her to sickbay. *********************************************************** "Apparantly the chemical used on your wife and the captain four and a half years ago is having a profound effect on the pregnancy." the doctor explained to the nervous man. What he was referring to was a hostage experience that had occured when Serena was just eight months old. B'Elanna and Captain Janeway had been on an away mission, where they were held hostage for two months. While the experience was going on, a chemical weapon was used on the both of them. B'Elanna and the captain had lasting side effects from the chemical. When they were finally rescued, both of them had lost almost all their hair, and were disoriented. They still got sick occasionally due to the chemical. Captain Janeway's hair wouldn't grow any longer than past her chin, so that's the way it stayed. One good thing did come out of the living nightmare, though. B'Elanna and Captain Janeway were best friends now, and nothing would ever change that. "Is B'Elanna going to be alright? And Emily?" Tom asked fearfully. "The baby should be fine, it's the mother we need to be worried about. There's still no way to tell what effect this will have on her." the doctor answered. "Doctor, she's ready." Kes came in the office. ************************************************************ "You'll be alright." Tom whispered to B'Elanna as he squeezed her hand. She looked up at him, and smiled, with tears running down her face. "I can see the head!" Kes exclaimed, trying to make Tom and B'Elanna feel better. "Just one more push, lieutenant." the doctor told her. The sound of a baby crying filled sickbay. Kes reached for a blanket, and wrapped Emily up in it, and handed her to her mother. B'Elanna held her for a moment, but was feeling shaky and dizzy, so she gave her to Tom. "Sickbay to the captain. I would like to announce the birth of Emily Paris." the doctor said as he tapped his comm badge. Kes took out a tricorder and began running it over B'Elanna to see how she was doing. She stared at the tricorder in shock for a moment, and then dragged the doctor into the office just as the captain was entering. "She's beautiful. She looks just like you, B'Elanna." Janeway smiled as she looked down at the new bundle of joy. "Tom, could you come in here a moment?" Kes called out. Tom handed the baby to the captain, and then walked into the office. "Is something wrong?" he asked. "I'm afraid there is something wrong. The chemical is taking over rapidly. There is nothing we can do to stop it." the doctor explained. Tom looked at him blankly, and then looked at Kes. "Tom, there's nothing more we can do for her." the Ocampan tried to explain as calmly as she could. "Are you saying that she's...she's dying?" he asked fearfully. "I'm afraid so." Kes nodded. Tom collapsed into the chair behind him, and looked out the window at B'Elanna. *Dying. My B'Elanna, dying.* ************************************************************ "Tom! Is the baby here?" Harry exclaimed. Tom nodded, and walked over to sit on his friend's couch. "Is something wrong?" Harry asked, full of concern and worry. "It's B'Elanna. She's dying." Tom managed to say. "Oh, my god. Are you serious?" Harry asked as he sat down beside Tom. "Of course I'm serious! Where's Serena?" "In my bed, asleep. Tom, are you alright?" "I'm fine. Listen, I need to talk to Serena, go to sickbay and see B'Elanna, alright?" he snapped. Harry nodded as Tom walked off to get his daughter. "Serena? Serena?" he whispered as he tapped her on the shoulder. She woke up, and turned her head over to see who was waking her up. "DADDY!" she exclaimed gleefully as she ran across the bed to hug him. "Aw, hi sweetie. I've needed this." he whispered. "Where's Emily? And Mommy?" she asked. "They're in sickbay. Listen, Serena, Daddy has something to tell you about Mommy." "What?" she asked as she crawled into his lap. "Well, honey. Mommy's very sick." "Will she get better?" "The doctor doesn't think so. She's very, very sick." "She'll get better, the doctor makes everyone all better. Daddy, can I go see Emily now?" she asked. *How will she understand that her mother's going away?* Tom asked himself. There was no way he could take her to sickbay right now. Harry was there saying goodbye to B'Elanna, and he didn't want Serena to see that. "How about we get you nice and pretty for your little sister?" Tom suggested. He knew Serena would go for this, she loved to play 'dress-up', and helping find a cute dress for her to wear might distract him from his racing mind. ********************************************************** "MOMMY!" Serena yelled as she ran into sickbay thirty minutes later. She'd chosen to wear a blue and white checkered sundress, with a blue bow in her blond, curly hair. She jumped onto the biobed, and laid down beside B'Elanna. The two of them began whispering, and Tom decided to go talk with Kes and see how B'Elanna was. "Tom, she's getting worse. Her breathing is very staggered, and she's weak." Kes explained to him. "How much longer does she have? Does she know what's happening?" he asked, never taking his eyes off of B'Elanna. "Yes, she does know, and she's only got about two more hours. Tom, I'm so sorry. If there's anything I can do-" "No, that's alright. I need to work through this myself." he told Kes as he walked over to B'Elanna. "Hi." B'Elanna said to him in a weak voice. "How are you doing?" he asked as he took her hand. "Great, now that my little munchkin's here." she grinned. "Mommy, Daddy said that you're sick, and won't get better. Is he right?" the little girl asked. B'Elanna looked up at Tom with a look on her face he'd never seen before. Fear. More fear than she'd shown during the Vidiian incident. More fear than anything. She turned back to Serena, and prepared to speak. "Yes, Daddy is right. I'm very sick. The doctor can't make me better." she told her daughter with quivering lips. "Serena, why don't we find Aunt Kathryn, and she'll take you to get some breakfast?" Tom suggested. He did not want Serena here anymore. He didn't want her to see her mother dying. "Aunt Kathryn's right here, and she'd love to take her." the captain said from the doorway. She looked like an emotional wreck. Her face was red and tear-stained. B'Elanna grabbed Serena and took her into a fierce, tight hug before she left. "Bye, Mommy! Bye, Daddy!" the little girl cried out as she left. "She doesn't understand. Oh, god, I don't want to leave the three of you. I'm so sorry." B'Elanna whispered. A whisper was about all she could manage right now. "This isn't your fault. Now isn't the time for apologies." Tom told her as he grabbed the stool behind him. Kes came up to check on B'Elanna for a few minutes, and Tom held onto her hand the entire time. Kes closed the tricorder, and walked away silently, her hands shaking. Tom jumped up, and ran to her to see what was wrong. "Kes, is she alright? What happened?" he asked. "Tom, she doesn't have as much time left as I thought. She's dying as we speak." she told him, her voice swaying a bit. **************************************************** "Tell Serena that...that I didn't want to leave her. And make sure Emily knows that this wasn't her fault. Oh, god, Tom, I'm dying. I don't want to leave you." she told him as they hugged. She then let go of him as she began coughing. "B'Elanna, I'll always love you. You mean everything to me. I love you more than anything." he grabbed her hand as he said this, squeezing it. She began having trouble breathing, and layed back, fighting to take one last breath. Kes and the doctor rushed over to her as she looked up at Tom. "At...at least...I won't have....to die...alone..." she whispered with her last ounce of strength. "B'Elanna, no. No. No." Tom whispered as the tears welled up in his eyes. "I'm sorry, Mr. Paris." the doctor apologized, "Kes, make a note. Death occured at 0517 hours." "Why couldn't you have done something to save her?" Tom asked, almost yelling. "If we'd known more about this chemical, we might have been able to save her. I'm sorry, Tom." Kes apologized. ************************************************************ Tom sat on the holodeck, alone. He'd been there ever since B'Elanna had died, which was four hours ago. This program was where they had gotten married. The Outer Banks, on the coast of North Carolina, on Earth. *Til death do us part* Tom thought, repeating those vows he'd uttered in this very place. *Why did that have to come so soon?* B'Elanna had been his life. When her and the captain were captured, he'd never given up hope that she would return. She meant too much to him to give her up for dead like that. Now, he had to raise both Emily and Serena by himself. Luckily, the chemical had no effect on Emily, who had been released from sickbay. The captain, or somebody, was taking care of them so that Tom could be alone. He'd decided to give Emily the middle name B'Elanna, after the mother she'd never get a chance to know. "Tom?" Harry called out. "What?" Tom answered glumly. "We thought you'd need someone to talk to." the captain said as her and Harry sat down on either side of Tom. Harry was holding Emily, and Serena was holding onto Janeway's hand. When the captain sat down, Serena jumped up and ran to Tom, sat down in his lap, and leaned her head against his chest. "Daddy, are you alright?" the little girl asked. "Yeah, I'm fine." he lied, "Why don't you go build a sand castle so I can talk with Aunt Kathryn and Uncle Harry?" "OK. Watch me!" she exclaimed as she ran to a clear patch of sand. "Tom, how are you really doing?" Janeway asked him. "Oh, perfect." he answered sarcastically as he took Emily from Harry. "Tom." she said sternly. "To tell you the truth, captain, I'm a wreck. How am I supposed to raise Emily and Serena by myself? B'Elanna meant the world to me, and now I've got to go on without her for the rest of my life." "Tom, you're not going to raise Emily and Serena by yourself. We'll all be here to help you get through this." Harry told him. "We all lost someone. B'Elanna meant a lot to a lot of people." the captain added. "How could I have been so stupid? I was convinced that B'Elanna and I would be together forever. That I'd never lose her. I thought we'd be together to see Serena and Emily grow up and have families of their own. Now B'Elanna's not even going to see Emily say her first word." Tom said, more to himself than to the others. "Tom, these next couple of months are going to be hard, but you'll make it though this. You're going to be fine." the captain told him reassuringly. ********************************************************* Later that day, Tom walked into sickbay, where B'Elanna's body still was. He left two things with her, to go in the casket with her. One of them was a picture of himself, Emily and Serena, and the other was a letter he'd written just an hour ago, telling her everything he'd never gotten a chance to say. Dear B'Elanna, This is the hardest thing I've ever had to write. You mean more to me than anything, and I can't accept the fact that you're gone. To me, you'll always be here. You'll always be a part of me, just like you have been these past eight years. I will never stop loving you, and I will never love you less. An anonymous author once wrote: "Some people come into our lives, and quickly fade away. Others come and leave footprints on our hearts and we are never quite the same again." That's the exact way I feel about you. You've left a lasting impact on my life, and I'm never going to be the same again. Thank you, B'Elanna. Love, Me ************************************************************ THE END *sniff* Told you that you'd need those tissues, didn't I? Hope you listened! Don't come crying to me if you didn't! Disclaimer: Paramount owns everything, I am nothing in comparison. Yadda, yadda, yadda.