DEAR B'ELANNA
By: Lauren Taylor

Dear B'Elanna,

I know there's not too much point in writing this letter, you won't be
able to read it, but I've got to tell someone how I'm feeling, and 
you're the only person I can think of. It's only been a month since you 
left me, and I'm still nowhere near getting over you. I remember it so 
clearly, those events that horrible day repeat through my head 
constantly.

We'd gone on shore leave to Taka, remember? We had four days of leave 
there, everyone was so excited. It was beautiful down there, you and I 
had so much planned. It was our third day down there, and you and I were 
taking a walk down by the river. I never wanted that day to end.

We passed Joe, Samantha, and Naomi playing in the water, and stopped to 
talk to them for a few minutes, then continued walking. We had gotten 
about thirty meters from them, and I turned you to me, put my arms 
around your back, and kissed you. 

A shot rang out. I figured that it was someone hunting in the woods on 
the other side of the river, until I felt your body go limp. I froze, 
and then felt some sort of liquid trickling onto my hands. I took my 
hands from around you, and saw them covered in blood. You fell to the 
ground limply, blood coming from a wound in your upper back. I screamed 
out your name as I dropped to my knees next to you. Joe and Sam heard 
me, and bot got out of the water to see what had happened. Joe noticed a 
man running away at the top of the hill behind us. He ran as fast as he 
could and wrestled the man to the ground. Sam rushed over to us after 
instructing Naomi to stay on the pier, and began doing CPR on you, while 
all I could do was sob and whisper your name. Joe had pinned the man to 
the ground, and taken the gun away from him. 

Sam stopped the resuscitation and looked at me with a devastated 
expression on her face. She apologized, and explained to me that there 
was nothing she could do. Just then, Sam saw the captain walking on the 
other side of the river, talking with Zitel, one of the leaders of the 
colony. We screamed for the two of them, and Zitel, seeing you on the 
ground in a pool of blood, called for the police as she and the captain 
came rushing across the foot bridge. Captain Janeway ran to your side, 
put her hand to your pale face, and choked back tears. Zitel ran to help 
Joe hold back the assassin. I was unsuccessfully fighting back tears, 
and then I noticed four police officers coming to our aid. I stood up 
and ran for the murderer. I lunged for him, and I got in a few good 
punches before the officers held me back. I stood there frozen for a
moment, staring into the face of the man who had taken me away from you. 
He didn't show any guilt, any signs of remorse, any feeling at all for 
what he'd done. Captain Janeway was behind me now, and she put her hand 
on my shoulder as the officers dragged the man off. I turned around and 
threw my arms around her, letting my tears fall onto her.

That's all I can really remember. All I know is that, after that, the 
captain got all crew  back on the ship, and announced to them what had 
happened. The man that killed you, we later found out, was an escaped 
prisoner, just wanting to have a little fun. A little fun, at the cost 
of your life. 

Everyone, especially Harry, tried to talk to me, but I didn't want to 
talk to anyone. I just wanted to be alone, in your quarters, one of the 
last reminders I had left of you. 

I've been so quiet and withdrawn since losing you, all I do is hide out 
in my quarters, and I utter a few words on the bridge, mainly "yes, 
captain" and things like that. I'm just so... lost without you here with 
me. I couldn't even say anything about you at your service, it hurt too 
much. I just sat there, silent, as other people talked about you. 

I love you, B'Elanna. I love you more than anything, and I miss you. I 
miss your smile, your temper, your laugh, your eyes, your hair... I 
could go on and on about what I miss about you, B'Elanna, and it would 
all sum down to the fact that I miss you, everything about you, more 
than anything. You are my life, B'Elanna, and I don't think I can go on 
without you here with me.

A few days ago, something came over me, and now I can't even face the 
world. Four days ago, I was walking into the mess hall, and I saw Harry 
in there, talking with Neelix, and Harry was laughing. I got furious, I 
couldn't believe that he was laughing when you were gone. I ran over to 
him and began punching him. I pushed him to the floor, and his head hit 
the wall. He sat there, his broken jaw cradled in his hand, looking up 
at me with fear in his eyes. Not fear for what I might do to him, but 
fear for the person I'd become. I looked around the mess hall, at the 
gaping eyes of the other crew members, and then I ran out. I ran until I 
got to my quarters, locked my door, and I haven't come out since. 

It's funny. Now that I read over this, I don't even know why I'm writing 
it. You'll never read it, I've just been wasting time. But, if someone 
does read this, I want to apologize. I want to tell everyone how sorry I 
am for the jerk I've been this past month. Especially Harry. God, Harry, 
you're my best friend, I don't know why in the hell I did what I did to 
you. I'm so sorry, everyone, for who I am. 

Goodbye, my B'Elanna, I'll always love you.

                                                               Love,
                                                               Tom

Harry Kim wiped a tear away from his cheek as he placed the PADD back 
down on the bed, next to his friend's body. He had come to Tom's 
quarters under the captain's orders to see how he was doing, and, when 
Tom didn't answer any calls, Harry called off the security lock, and 
came in to find Tom on his bed, a knife in his hand, and a stab wound in 
his chest. Harry hit his comm badge.

"Kim to the captain." he commanded. 

"Captain here. How is he?" she asked.

"He's gone, captain." Harry said with tears in his voice. The captain 
sighed knowingly, they had expected this. 

"Acknowledged. Janeway out." she said with tears in her voice, also.

Harry picked up the PADD again, placed it in Tom's hand, and  fought 
back the urge to break down and cry.

"Goodbye, Tom." Harry whispered as he walked out of his friend's 
quarters.

THE END

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