* * * * *
"Whenever I'm weary, from the battles that rage in my head, You make
sense
of madness when my sanity hangs by a thread. I lose my way but still you
seem
to understand....Now and forever, I will be your man."(8)
VIII.

"Ah, Mister Paris. How nice - " The Doctor's voice abruptly cut off as
he took in Harry and Kes on either side of me, more carrying than
guiding
me through the sickbay doors. "Put him here," the EMH barked, his tone 
changing instantly from sarcasm to worry as he gestured to a nearby
biobed.
  "No," I groaned through clenched teeth. "Please." Just let me go back
to
my quarters. Not sickbay. Anywhere but here. "Please," I repeated. 
  "Come on, Lieutenant." The Doctor's voice was surprisingly gentle as
he
helped Harry pull me onto the biobed. I tried to control the trembling
that was running through my body, and concentrate on what the Doctor was
telling me.
  "Relax, Tom." the Doctor soothed, pressing a hypospray to my neck. I
was
a little startled - he'd never called me Tom before. I lifted a shaking
hand 
to clutch his uniform sleeve as he started to move away.
  "Doc?" I rasped, "what's going on? Why does it still hurt so bad?"
  His face was a picture of worry being pressed aside by the need for 
professional calm. Sometimes I'm not convinced he isn't as human as
Harry or
I. A part of me wished I was on better terms with the Doctor so I could
tell 
him that and he'd believe me. 
  "I'm not turning into a lizard again, am I?" I ventured, trying to
draw a
small smile from him. Slipping into typical joking mode helped me focus
on
something other than my own pain, and hopefully help to alleviate some
of the
Doc's worry. A brief smile crossed his face, though whether it was
genuine or
not I wasn't sure. 
  "I seriously doubt it, Mister Paris."
  Well, that was good to know, at least. I don't think I could ever look
at the
Captain again if that happened. 
  As medication in the hypospray took effect, the pain and the trembling 
lessened. I gave a relieved sigh, and let my head sink back against the 
cushioning of the biobed. Turning slightly, I caught Harry's eye and
gave him
a wan smile. The look I got in return was clouded with worry and
anxiety.
  "I'm fine, Harry," I assured him, but I knew he didn't believe me any
more 
than I believed myself. I supressed a shudder - this one having nothing
to
do with my apparent illness. Medical technology had developed at a
surprisingly
quick rate, but even now there was no cure for the common cold. What of 
illnesses from the Delta Quadrant? What if the poison I'd been injected
with
had no cure? I closed my eyes and shivered. The Doctor's hand was on my
arm 
in an instant. 
  "It's okay, Tom." Something in his voice calmed my fears, and, opening
my
eyes, I offered him a weak smile.
  "I know, Doc." Kes had busied herself at one of the lab tables along
the 
wall, but as I spoke she reentered my line of vision, armed with another 
hypospray. She gave me a reassuring glance, and a quick one to Harry as
well
as she pressed the hypospray to my neck. A face suddenly returned to my 
thoughts, though my vision was dimming at the edges as the medication
entered
my system.
  "Harry," I said, reaching for him though he wasn't close enough to
snare in
my quickly weakening grasp. He was close in an instant.
  "What, Tom?" he asked quickly.
  "B'Elanna," I murmured, straining to stay awake for just one more
minute.
Kes' hand passed across my sweaty forehead. 
  "Relax, Tom," she said gently. "You need to rest. We'll bring B'Elanna
later."
  I tried to tell Harry I'd intended the opposite, that B'Elanna
shouldn't 
come. I didn't want her to see me like this, she'd only worry. I'd be
fine in
a few hours, and she wouldn't have to worry. Memories of the anxiety I'd
already
caused her made me try a final time to get Harry's attention, but he and
Kes
had already moved away from the bedside, at the Doctor's suggestion, and 
the EMH himself was busy at one of the lab tables. I raged in silent
frustration
as unconsciousness finally crashed over me and I plunged into darkness.


It was dark in the room when I awoke, meaning it was sometime during the
ship's
"night". In an effort to make their starships feel more like a home to
their
crewmembers, Starfleet vessels ran on standard Earth times. The quiet
hum of
the instrument panels was the only other sound besides my ragged
breathing.
  I'd expected to feel better when I awoke, and though the headache and
pain
had lessened considerably, I still felt miserable. I craned my neck
slowly 
to see if the Doctor was in his office and as I moved, something beside
my
bedside shifted and a quiet yawn came out of the darkness.
  "Well, it's about time," an amused voice said. I closed my eyes and
supressed
a sigh.
  "B'Elanna."
  "You sound thrilled to see me," Torres said wryly, leaning forward a
little
so her face was visible in the dim light.
  "It's not that," I said miserably. I knew Harry had had good
intentions, but
this definitely made the situation worse.
  "What is it?" B'Elanna asked, concerned. 
  "Nothing," I replied softly. Nothing could be done about it now,
anyway, and
I did throughly enjoy her company. I just hoped she wouldn't worry too
much.
  B'Elanna stifled another yawn and resettled herself in the chair.
"Harry just
left," she explained. "He was going to see Kes back to her quarters and
then 
get some sleep."
  "What about you?" I commented. She shrugged.
  "I pull late shifts all the time. Nothing new."
  Silence fell and I sighed. This was really embarrassing. Here I was,
flat on
my back, nowhere to go, and I couldn't think of anything to say. Where
was the
famous Paris comeback? I frowned. It probably ran away with the famous
Paris
luck.
  I sighed again.
  "Are you having trouble breathing?" B'Elanna questioned, slightly
worried.
  Great. Now I was blushing, too. Suddenly I was glad it was dark. 
  "Nope," I said cheerily. "I'm great. Wonderful." Embarrassing myself
more
by the minute. *C'mon, Paris! Say something!* Suddenly, I had it.
  "B'Elanna," I said slowly.
  "What, Tom?"
  "What....what was it you said, back in the caves before
the....accident....
what did you say to me right before the water closed in?" Sure, it had
been
over six months ago, but I was suddenly filled with the need to know.
  B'Elanna was silent for a moment, and then she said softly, "I said,
'I'll
be waiting at the end of the tunnel', Tom."
  The next question was uncomfortable, but I needed to ask.
"B'Elanna....
did you mean it?"
  Her reply was instantaneous. "Yes, Tom, I did."
  I smiled. I knew she had.

* * * * *
Evenstar17@hotmail.com

-- 
------------------------------------------------------------------
Jessica Ferroni
Evenstar17@hotmail.com, jferroni@shilohcc.com

There are three kinds of people in this world:
Those who can count, and those who can't.