TTT EIA #21:  The Choices of Master Samwise

 

LOL and ROFLMAO credit!

 

1.  What did Shelob do when Sam stabbed her?

  • She said, "It's only an exoskeleton wound!" Tar-Telperien  ROFLMAO!!!!

  • A very spirited and dramatic reenactment of Caeser's death, ending with 'Et tu, Samwise?'Arian Ithilsar

  • She took him by the short and curlies (the ones on his FEET, people! his FEET!!), turned him upside down to look into his eyes and said, "You wanna mess with this, punk?" Melian of Doriath

  • Sang a chorus of "Shot through the heart and your to blame, darlin you give love...a bad name..." HobbitHearted

  • She leaped to her feet(s?), bellowed "Are you not entertained?!!" then collapsed. Sam and Frodo gave her an honorary Oscar for Best Russel Crowe/Maximus the Gladiator impersonation by a giant spider. Seillib

  • This is actually a misquote from the Red Book of Westmarch.  Sam "swabbed" her to prepare her for her yearly vaccination.  If you're going to go around eating people whose history you know nothing about, you'd better be getting your shots. frodolover24

  • oo!  stop it, that tickles!  oh hey, you can't tig a tog! Ayaediran

  • "aww now look what you've done!  It will take ages to get that stain out of my best abdomen.  I hate you" Amatire
     

2.  What did Sam hold up to ward off the over-sized insect?

 

3.  Sam said to Shelob:  “Now come, ---------!  You’ve hurt my master, you---------, and you’ll pay for it.”

  • Sam said to Shelob:  “Now come, you...you!  You’ve hurt my master, you...you, and you’ll pay for it.” When in a tight spot, Sam was a hobbit of few words. Joellle  ROFLMAO!!

  • Sam said to Shelob:  “Now come, you lily-livered bottom dweller!  You’ve hurt my master, you yellow-bellied newt's rear end, and you’ll pay for it.” LOTR_nutcase

  • Sam said to Shelob:  “Now come, you member of the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences.. You’ve hurt my master, you blind and unappreciative fool...you didn't nominate our brilliant performances.. and you’ll pay for it.” Telperion Dew

  • Sam said to Shelob:  “Now come, you blasted bookpurist!  You’ve hurt my master,PJ, you nitpicker and naysayer, and you’ll pay for it.” nefisa

  • Sam said to Shelob:  “Now come, you lame excuse for a cgi character!  You’ve hurt my master, you poorly rendered pixilated graphic, and you’ll pay for it.” Darkstone

 

4.  Who found Frodo’s body, and what did they do with it? 

  • The WETA cleaning crew… they finished wrapping Jordan's present and shipped it out via Air Newzealand… EXPRESS!... ;D diedye  ROFLAMO!!!

  • The Knights who say Ni! and then used it to fertilize their shrubbary... lairë48

  • Jordan the Discursive. We really don't know what she did with him, but if she will kindly drop him off here at TORn's doorstep within the next 24 hours, Samwise has promised not to alert the authoritiesSeillib

  • Miracle Max was going to use it for experimentation to find the fine line between All Dead and MosLOTR_nutcase

  • Frodo was found by a traveling ventriloquist act. You don't want to know what happened next.

  • Martha Stewart...she turned him into a lovely  piece of decorative  outdoor furniture...perfect for garden tea parties or family barbecues! Telperion Dew

  • Jordan - she made him into a coffee table to impress her friends. Cheshire Cat

  • Star Wars fans. They dressed it up as an Ewok. Kimi

  • Well, they lost their football down into the pit of despair... so... grammaboodawg

  • Stokes and Sidle.  They did a complete crime scene workup including analysis of hair and fiber traces and blood spatter patterns.  They were so intent on their CSI work that the orcs ate them.  Darkstone

 

5.  Shagrat and Gorbag had bid plans for their future after the War.  What did they want to do?

  • Create their own successful cable-run show entitled "Evil eye for the Eldar guy" Which based on the ancient process and methods once used by none other than Morgoth himself the pair show first hand makeovers of Elf to Orc. Chalk full of hilarious commentary and banter along the way between (what all the critics  and fans alike will refer to them as) "The Terrible Twosome" Telperion Dew  ROFLMAO!!!

  • Open a falafel hut. Linkoidemon

  • Open up Spider on a Stick franchises. At least that's what I think I ate at the Chinese restaurant the other day instead of chicken. Melian of Doriath

  • Star in Middle-Earth's version of "Waiting for Godot"HobbitHearted

  • Open the first gourmet coffee cafe in Middle-Earth.  They were going to call it "Arrghbucks". SarcasticElf

  • Shagrat: What are we doing tonight, Gorbag?
    Gorbag: The same thing we do every night, Shagrat. We're going to try to take over the world. Tar-Telperien

  • After their Frodo-styling went over big at Cirith Ungol, they were going to open up styling salons all over Mordor, with the motto: "Just because you're evil, doesn't mean your hair can't look good!" iowaboy

  • They wanted to star in their own reality TV series - How to Survive in Mordor - or Die trying!!! brandytook

  • They hoped to buy a Winnebago and visit every state in the U.S. The Trees of Yavanna

 

And some absolutely brilliant Theme extra credit!

Yncanes

1.  What did Shelob do when Sam stabbed her? 

She broke out into the chorus of "Hey Ya."  "My babay dont mess around because she loves me so and yes I know fo shooooooooooooooooo!"

2.  What did Sam hold up to ward off the over-sized insect? 

He sang "Milkshake" by Kelis, and well... shook his milk whenever he got to the "My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard and they're like, it's better than y'alls. Darn right, it's better than y'alls I can teach you, but I have to charge." part.  And boy did he teach her.

3.  Sam said to Shelob:  “Now come, you lip syncher!  You’ve hurt my chances at being the next American Idol, you scantily clad minx, and you’ll pay for it!”

4. Who found Frodo’s body, and what did they do with it? 

After assuming that Britney Spears had poisoned him with something "Toxic" they took his body, stripped him naked and left him wearing nothing but silver rhinestones all over his body.

5.  Shagrat and Gorbag had bid plans for their future after the War.  What did they want to do? 

Expose themselves at the Super Bowl halftime show.

 

gwynethkate

1.  What did Shelob do when Sam stabbed her?

Shelob:
'Tis but a scratch.
Sam:
A scratch? Your leg's off!
Shelob:
No, it isn't.
Sam:
Well, what's that, then?
Shelob:
I've had worse.
Sam:
You liar!
Shelob:
Come on, you pansy!

And so it goes... ;-)

2.  What did Sam hold up to ward off the over-sized insect? 

The Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch.  First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then, shalt thou count to three. No more. No less. Three shalt be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, nor either count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then, lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in My sight, shall snuff it.'

3.  Sam said to Shelob (in a French accent of course):  “Now come, you silly English k-nnnnnigget!  You’ve hurt my master, you empty headed animal food trough wiper, and you’ll pay for it.”

4. Who found Frodo’s body, and what did they do with it?
Shagrat:
Bring out your dead!
[clang]
Bring out your dead!
Gorbag:
Here's one.
Shagrat:
Ninepence.
Frodo:
I'm not dead!
Shagrat:
What?
Gorbag:
Nothing. Here's your ninepence.
Frodo:
I'm not dead!
Shagrat:
'Ere. He says he's not dead!
Gorbag:
Yes, he is.
Frodo:
I'm not!
Shagrat:
He isn't?


5.  Shagrat and Gorbag had big plans for their future after the War.  What did they want to do?

Find a shrubbery.  One that looks nice.  And not too expensive.

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