TTT EIA #5:  The White Rider

 

LOL and ROFLMAO credit!

 

1.  What did the hobbits leave behind for Aragorn to discover that made him believe they were alright?

- Two dozen Uruk heads and a half-smoked cigar. Pukel-man  ROFLMAO!

- A note that said "Hey, Aragorn, we're alright." Little Red

- Their last bill from the Prancing Pony for four-and-a-half pints. quickbeam2002

- Their letters offering them pre-approved credit cards with a spending limit reflecting their high status and credit-worthiness. Kimi

- A copy of "The Complete idiots guide to distinguishing Hobbits From Orcs" with a lovely label that read "Property of Fangorn" bookmarked at the page that was titled "Orcs do not have hair (at least not on their feet)" elfwing_angel

- Lots of Aragorn Bobble-Heads.  Message received loud and clear. Ltlberr

- A lovely scarf and pair of matching gloves knitted from Uruk-hai hair. Anamírë

- A message painted on a rock that said, "For a good time call Strider, 867-5309." The Trees of Yavanna

 

2.  Why did Aragorn not want the stranger in the woods to speak to them?

- He was busy trying to commit Fran and Philippa's rewrites for the next scene to memory. ThirdOrcOnTheLeft  ROFLMAO!

- Halitosis Pukel-man, EsteTook

- He’d heard that the strangers in these woods carried many a movie spoiler and he was determined to stay spoiler free until December. Sowen

- He wanted to be sure that the stranger knew the secret handshake first. quickbeam2002

- OMG! Talking to THAT guy?! It would have, like, totally ruined his chances of social acceptance. LOTR_nutcase

- He knew the stranger was trying to sell them a new phone plan that was incompatible with the Version 1 palantiri, and which would require an expensive upgrade. Kimi

- Since his mommy always told him it was dangerous to talk to strangers, he was afraid he would be ranger-napped and held hostage in Minas Tirith and forced to play the part of… *gasp*… KING!! diedye

- He suspected of him of being the geek from his class back in Strider High. The one who was always on at him to wash his hair. LostHamster

 

3.  Who was the man in White?

- Westley, of course.  It was a negative. Smokering  ROFLMAO!

- cousin twice removed to the men in black Joelle

- a Middle-Earth Elvis impersonator. Varda Elentari

- Cher in one of her thirty costumes from the "Farewell Tour"Yncanes

- No one knew, but he went on and on about the superior strength of his garbage bags. ThirdOrcOnTheLeft

- I don't know, but who does he think he's kidding with those black socks? Little Red

- Shaft!  Can you dig it? Ayaediran

- Colonel Sandersquickbeam2002

- Literature for 400, Alex.
This person frightened the Three Hunters during their pursuit of Merry and Pippin through Fangorn Forest. LOTR_nutcase

- According to Google: Jesus. Ltlberr

 

4. Briefly describe Gandalf’s adventures with the Balrog in Moria.

- Gandalf stops… Balrog roars…
Gandalf stomps… Balrog grunts…
Gandalf shouts… Balrog sulks…
Gandalf cracks bridge with staff… Balrog cracks air with whip…
Gandalf says “Bite me!”… Balrog says “Watch me!”…
Light flashes… Bridge collapses…
Gandalf sneers… Balrog falls…
Light goes out… Whip comes up…
Gandalf slips… Balrog laughs…
Gandalf loses footing… Balrog loses lunch…
Gandalf curses useless Rangers… Balrog curses useless wings…
Gandalf falls… Balrog waits…
Gandalf grabs Glamdring… Balrog grabs flametorch…
Gandalf stabs… Balrog protests…
Gandalf tickles… Balrog giggles…
Gandalf leads… Balrog dips…
Tunnel ends… Water begins…
Frodo’s nightmare ends… Gandalf’s flashback begins…
Bottom of the world… Top of the world…
Swimsuits off… Ski boots on…
Gandalf tired… Balrog bored…
Lightning flashes… Glamdring charged…
Balrog sticks tongue out… Gandalf sticks sword in…
Balrog falls… Gandalf crawls…
Balrog of Morgoth dead… Gandalf the Greyhame dead…
Middle-Age Space Odyssey begins… Copyright infringement trial ends…
Beloved Grey Wizard no more… Naked White Popsicle on floor…
Great Eagle swoops down… Gandalf’s spirits rise up…
Lorien approaches… Galadriel retreats…
Celeborn hands over wizard’s clothes… Galadriel hands over athlete’s cup…
Galadriel talks… Nobody listens…
Galadriel “nukes”… EVERYBODY listens…
Gandalf the White’s journey begins… Tale of “Dumb-A@@ Trip to Moria” ends… diedye GREAT!  ROFLMAO! 

- There must be a simpler way to get whiter whites and brighter brights Smokering ROFLMAO!

- Gandalf: Woah!
Balrog: Woah!
Gandalf: Woah!
Balrog: Woah!
Both: *SPLASH*Joelle

- the Balrog purchased Gandalf a "I fell down a hole in Moria and all I got was this lousy T-shirt" t-shirt. Yncanes

- Balrog?  Moria?  Maybe I shouldn't have gone out for Junior Mints during that scene. Little Red

- They had a girls night in – with facials, manicures and the obligatory pillow fight.  But it all ended in tears when Gandalf smacked the Balrog just that little bit too hard and smote his ruin upon the mountain  Sowen

- Well, first they built a boat and sailed away for weeks and weeks and a year and a day to where the wild things are ... luinfalathiel

 

5.  What warning did Galadriel send to Legolas?

- 'I think we accidentally put the yak in the swan-boats, not the Dwarf.  Please send it back as I can't make my cleanser without the milk.  Besides, the Dwarf is making a nuisance of itself, keeps springing out of holes in the holes in the ground and saying 'Ha!  Fooled ya!'.  Even Celeborn's starting to get annoyed--PLEASE return the yak and we can drop Gimli quietly off a flet.' Smokering ROFLMAO!

- Everybody knows you have back hair.  Stop trying to hide it. Varda Elentari ROFLMAO!</b>

- Don't get Gimli wet, and don't feed him after midnight. The Trees of Yavanna

- Duck Joelle (as in duck, duck goose??)

- If you ever catch you and your scruffy mates bobbing for apples in my mirror again you're on Orc Patrol for the next five hundred years. And I don't care who your father is" LostHamster

- That the warranty on his bow expires after thirty days. Yncanes

- Watch out for Figwit! He is planning to steal your secret hair conditioner and to dye his hair blonde! EsteTook

- Obey the court order and stay at least three hundred yards away from me at all times, or I'll have you slapped in cuffs so fast your head will spin. ThirdOrcOnTheLeft

- "Those stairs at Helm's Deep are tricky.  Use a shield." Teen Aragorn

- "Beware the call of the seaside timeshare salemen!" Kimi

- An estimate for dry-cleaning the bird-droppings from elven clothes. diedye

 

TECPs (theme extra credit)

 

Choice of Lúthien

1.  What did the hobbits leave behind for Aragorn to discover that made him believe they were alright?

 a new top of the line laptop computer with only one thing on it--the ROTK trailer
2.  Why did Aragorn not want the stranger in the woods to speak to them?
he was avoiding ROTK spoilers
3.  Who was the man in White?

hard to tell, the quality isn't that good and those asian letters and subtitles keep getting in the way. Hmm..looks like it could be Gandalf. No wait, its FIGWIT!
4. Briefly describe Gandalf’s adventures with the Balrog in Moria.
huh? that wasn't in the ROTK trailer I saw! Did I not download the whole trailer?? Somebody please help me...And don't tell me that PJ ruined ROTK by having Gandalf fight another Balrog instead of the Witch King...
5.  What warning did Galadriel send to Legolas?

 you have your work cut out for you in the ROTK trailer. You have to climb up a rope hanging from an Oliphant and then kill it! Better start training...

 

Arian Ithilsar

1.  What did the hobbits leave behind for Aragorn to discover that made him believe they were alright?

Several dead orcs, trampled by fangirls who heard the hobbits were passing by.

2.  Why did Aragorn not want the stranger in the woods to speak to them?
It was not safe to utter the names Aragorn and Legolas, due to fangirls' uncanny, selective hearing (capable of tuning out the words 'Aragorn's engaged'). Gimli was perfectly safe.
3.  Who was the man in White?
One of the few who lived to be old enough to have a slightly less pervy following.
4. Briefly describe Gandalf’s adventures with the Balrog in Moria.
The Balrog threatened to tell the fangirls where Frodo was, in which case he would have been dragged off to the dreaded fortress on Estrogen Island, quite a lengthy detour.
5.  What warning did Galadriel send to Legolas?
Beware the fangirls, they are closer than you deem,
Rabid and stalking, more foul then they seem,
If ever thou hearest one such fiend,
Run, and remember, AI is your friend. ;-)
To Gimli she gave only several obscene hand gestures and a 'Just Say No to FanDwarves' bumper sticker. He was estactic.

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