1.  Why were the Uruk-Hai not allowed to harm the hobbits?

•  Saruman wanted them to be "Merry" during their "Peregrin"-ations. Volstagg ROFLMAO!

• Saruman heard you could make sweaters out of thier foot hair, and thought it'd be a nice revenge for all those itchy, nasty sweaters Grandma had sent HIM. Arian Ithilsar

• They were the only decent cooks around since the Uruk's ain't had nothin' but maggoty bread for three stinkin' days. Who better to cook breakfast, second breakfast, elevensies.... Smeagol68

• Pippin came up with an elaborate geneology that showed that he was their leader's third cousin, 14 times removed, on his mother's side. It just didn't seem right to kill family... glorfin2

• Because the pervy hobbit fanciers would riot if anyone else tried to spank a hobbit. WhiteAslan

• The last time they harmed hobbits they left a mess in the kitchen. Little Red

• Because mama always told Saruman that it's not nice to play with your food. diedye

• Actually, there was a slight miscommunication... Saruman specifically instructed the Urûk-hai not to ARM the hobbits. ThirdOrcOnTheLeft

• They said "parley." Which was more of a guideline, really, but the Uruk-hai humored them . . . LOTR_nutcase

• Pippin had a sticker on his derier "Do not open until X-mas" and Merry's label said "Inserting foreign objects will void warranty".

2.  How did Pippin manage to cut the ropes around his wrists?

• He right clicked on "ropes," then chose the "cut" option. Little Red ROFLMAO!

• He found that sword, "Orc-wrist." Volstagg

• He used the keys to Pippin's Mercedes, which he unfortunately left in Rivendell with the windows down. Yncanes

• luckily he had used too much hair gel when he spiked his hair the day before, so the spikes conveniently doubled as cute little mini daggers. Varda Elentari

• With the short tong of a sharpened spork. Bell Willow

• rubbing them against the edges of Smokering's razor-sharp wit.  Rumour has it he's at it still. Smokering

• He cut them on the dead orc chef's slice-and-dice fingernails. diedye

• They were carried on a coconut by two European swallows who promptly dropped them as they were too heavy.  Two African swallows attempted to pick up the pace, but again, two hobbits and a coconut are just too much for a pair of swallows, African or European.  Then they tried the subway but ended up in the Bronx by accident.  Tricksy subwayAyaediran

 <i><b>3.  How were the hobbits transported by the Uruks?

• U-Haul (Uruk-Haul). Orald  ROFLMAO!

• Each was put into an "Uruck" sack and toted Volstagg

• FedEx Arian Ithilsar,Yncanes

• On turtles, with rope made from human hair from Jack Sparrow's back! WraithofESM

• Via the "Hai" road. Aragorn and company took the low one. glorfin2

• Amazingly, Luke Skywalker loaned them his landspeeder luinfalathiel

• Carrier pidgeons.  Big ones. Sowen

• "Up comes Shagrat on the left hand side, he passes to Ugrut who catches Pippin mid flow and is immediately set upon by the Red-eye team.  In the midst of the scrum, Lurts appears victorious and is running, he's running, he's gonna make it, he's heading for a touchdown...there are moria orcs all over the pitch, they think its all over......  It is now!" Amatire

 4. What clue did Pippin leave behind?

• He placed pictures of himself and Merry on milk cartons all over western middle-earth. Gwynfor ROFLMAO!

• A series of Post-it notes, containing messages such as  "Warmer... you're getting warmer.... very warm now...." ThirdOrcOnTheLeft  ROFLMAO

• None; he "Took" everything with himVolstagg

• The one Ring, which he snitched from Frodo waaayy back in Moria. WraithofESM

• Apple cores, po-ta-toe peels, bread crumbs.... Smeagol68

• Well, Hobbit droppings are very different from human ones... Yncanes

• "Pipen wuz her". Varda Elentari

• A paw print, in the hopes that Aragorn would spot it and draw it in his handy-dandy Ranger notebook. Little Red

• His menu for second breakfast, elevenses, luncheon, afternoon tea, dinner and supper. diedye

• His prized signed Figwit Topps card. SarcasticElf

• The wrench. In the Lounge. LOTR_nutcase

• Alright, but the $3.95 shipping fee was a pain. Kendig

• The famous Balancing Boulder of West Fold which had been knocked over, a Rohan village whose fields had been stripped of cabbages and carrots, a West Mark mushroom farm which had been devastated, the ruins of a Rohirrim fireworks factory which had somehow burned to the ground, and a couple of cringing, nerve-wracked Uruks who had curled up into balls and kept muttering “Fool of a Took!  Fool of a Took!” Darkstone

5.  What did Merry and Pippin stop to do before escaping the battle between the Uruks and the Riders?

• Take pictures of themselves in front of Fangorn Forest to send back home at the next post office.  "Hi all, having the time of our lives, be glad you're not here, Yours, Pip and Merry!" Little Red ROFLMAO!

• Well, lembas' are like beers, you don't really eat them you only rent them for a while. Qranger ROFLMAO!

• had a meal; they shouldn't have, but it was from force of hobbit. Volstagg

• Merry had to rip a bit of tape off Pippin's chest. WraithofESM

• A photo shoot for their new advertising campaign for Versace Minnie. Yncanes

• They stopped to play a quick game of Tig...Grishnakh got tired of harrassing them and decided to join in. Teen Aragorn

• Sang a rousing chorus of "Uruks - You All Suck" which was a little ditty they'd been working on for a few days. Sowen

• Moon Grishnak. Hobbits are not great masters of witty repartee. Kendig

• Have a one-on-one on the relative merits of living in an anarcho-syndicalist commune vs. a feudalistic monarchy with a supreme executive whose claim to power is that some moistened bint had lobbed a scimitar at him. DownfallenWest

• Sing the barmy army song for Rohan and then chant heartily: "Whistle while you work, Ugluk is a twerp, He's so barmy, so his army, Whistle while you work" elfwing_angel

TECPs (theme extra credit)

Eärendil The Mariner

1.  Why were the Uruk-Hai not allowed to harm the hobbits?

That would have, like, seriously messed up their carma, dude.

2.  How did Pippin manage to cut the ropes around his wrists?

Whoa! He must have used, like, his pipeweed cutter, or something.

3.  How were the hobbits transported by the Uruks?

It was, like, piggy-back, but I guess it was more like Orky-back, you know? Radical.

4. What clue did Pippin leave behind?

He must have left, like, his pipe behind, and rolled instead.

5.  What did Merry and Pippin stop to do before escaping the battle between the Uruks and the Riders?

They stopped for a puff or two, to gather courage, man. Those Uruks were sooo not cool, man...

EowynDernhelm

1.  Why were the Uruk-Hai not allowed to harm the hobbits?

Harming the hobbits would make the film be rated "R".

2.  How did Pippin manage to cut the ropes around his wrists?

Pippin bribed the studio executives to give him a knife to cut the ropes around his wrist. The Uruks were too poor to bribe the studio executives.

3.  How were the hobbits transported by the Uruks?

In a fancy golf cart given to the actors to transport them between sets.

4. What clue did Pippin leave behind?

A script with the script changes underlined so that Aragorn would not forget his lines.

5.  What did Merry and Pippin stop to do before escaping the battle between the Uruks and the Riders?

They stopped to phone their agents to complain about the director, the set, and life in general.