1) What was the original purpose of The Black Gate?

LOL Credit: TheOrcOnTheLeft
To be hard to see at night.

~ The Black Gate was originally meant to be a giant stage, but it developed a huge crack down the middle, so Sauron just started using it as a gate. EowynDernhelm

~ To provide a visible landmark for the pizza delivery guys. Sowen

~ To keep Michael Jackson *inside* Neverland...and all the kiddies out! Ltlberr

~ To keep out the flood of elf chicks who wanted Sauron's hot booooody. But that stopped being necessary when the word got out that he was just a flaming eyeball these days. Varda Elentari

~ To keep all those annoying munchkins and Emerald City folk out. Hobbitmama

2) Why didn’t Gollum want Frodo to enter?

~ He wanted to be the first one inside so he could get a free cowboy hat. Anamírë

~ Gollum didn't want Frodo to enter because, like all the hot, bougie nightclubs in Middle Earth, Mordor only allowed the "beautiful people" to get in. Frodo could get in easy. Melian of Doriath

~ The great big "Don't walk on the grass" sign was just so ominous! elfwing angel

~ He was afraid Frodo, the impressionable youngster, right out of undergrad that he was, might be sucked into the counter-culture if he were not properly supervised by one more experienced at the naturalistic observation like himself. Linwe Carnesir

~ He knew Frodo wouldn't meet the height requirements, and he could only stand on Sam's shoulder's with a black coat draped over them for so long. Joelle

3) How did Gollum propose they get into Mordor?

LOL Credit: Sowen
Hide themselves in one of those mail order catalogues. Those catalogues get in everywhere they’re delivered.

~ Why, through the Mor-door, of course. Varda Elentari Yeah Varda- cool.

~ Through the little-known Bakdor. TheOrcOnTheLeft Oh jeez Toots- even cooler.

~ Buy a big frickin' huge hummer. Nothing can say, "Look at the ***hole barging through" like a hummer does. Sandicomm

~ He thought he might know one of the Orc bouncers well enough to get them in the back door. When he had been in Mordor before, they had been together often, while Gollum was being tortured. luinfalathiel

4) Briefly describe the new host of men that approached Mordor.

LMAO Credit: LOTR_Nutcase
Tall, tanned, with smoldering eyes and tousled brown-black hair. Lean, yet ripped where it counts. Yes, ladies, it was an entire herd of Orlando Blooms!!

~ They were clad all in silver and lavender and the sheerest white samite, swirling like a capricious breeze up the valley with the feathers on their boas proudly fluttering behind them. luinfalathiel

~ Well, he was a bit snobbish at first. But as soon as Aragorn slipped him a twenty he was all "Good to see you, My Lord! I have an excellent table for you, right this way..." Ltlberr

~ Tall blonde and made the best brownies Joelle

~ Pretty, but only if you go for that unkempt Abercrombie and Fitch look. Yncanes

5) Fill in the blanks.
_____ as a ______
______as a _______
Nose like a _______
I make the earth ______

Eowyn Dernhelm:
Dumb as a rock
Off-key as a bad musician
Nose like a thing in the middle of my face
I make the earth cry for better music

LostHamster
Fierce as a Balrog
Tough as a troll
Nose like an Orc
I make the earth do pretty much whatever I tell it to

TheOrcOnTheLeft
Classified as a member of the Order Insectivora
Sometimes thought of as a pest
Nose like a little pink cone
I make the earth in your garden or lawn full of unsightly tunnels and bumps.

dyedie:
Crafty as a wizard
Prickly as a pine
Nose like a buzzard
I make the earth mine…
mine, mine, I tell you,…. ALL MINE!!!! Muahahahahahahahahaha!!!!