1.  What sound did Aragorn hear that alerted him that Boromir was in trouble?

-  The ripping sound of a new pack of toilet roll being opened Pukel-man  ROFLMAO!  (what spells trouble?  c-h-a-r-m-i-n)

-  The approaching electronic music of the ice cream truck, followed by Boromir's scream of anguish as he realized he didn't have any change. Anamírë

-  "Er...is there any paper in your stall?" RosieLass

-  *splat* Kendig

-  He heard Boromir say, "Don't worry -- I know what I'm doing." The Trees of Yavanna

-  *Faintly* *brrraaammf* "Hey, who stuck mashed lembas in the Horn of Gondor?! Pippin, you little..!!" Seillib

-  Merry: You're supposed to stick him in the ground!
Pippin: He is in the ground! Megolas_Greenleaf

-  He stopped whining Arian Ithilsar

2.  What was Boromir’s confession before he died?

-  That it was not, in fact, a sword in his pocket. ;) Yncanes  ROFLMAO!

- "I'm sorry Aragorn...I ate the last bubblegum-flavored Spongebob ice cream..." Anamírë

- He was on the quest by mistake. He'd thought he'd been invited to some wierd medievil themed bachelor party. Now he understood why Galadriel responded so badly to his "Come on love, when are you getting your gear off?" ShortyElf

- I killed Colonel Mustard with the revolver. His body is in the conservatory." RosieLass

- There were 1973 licks to the center of a tootsie roll pop. LadyOfTheLibrary

- "Orcs taste like beef-jerky!" Seillib

- "This isn't my natural hair color." SarcasticElf

- The "horn of Gondor" he had been carrying around was a fake.  He accidentally dropped the real horn into the Anduin while fishing there as a child, and secretly commissioned a new one.  No one ever found out, but it had been eating at him for years. Little Red

- he was the one who stole Legolas's contacts Arian Ithilsar

3.  Gimli:  “S is for ______.  That is easy to read.”
     Legolas:  “Nay!  The __________  does not use the _________.”

- Gimli:  “S is for Short Attention Span Theatre.  That is easy to read.”
Legolas:  “Nay! Sauron does not use the TORN boards. He frequents AICN.” Kimi  ROFLMAO!

- Gimli:  “S is for scum.  That is easy to read.”
Legolas:  “Nay!  The dorm janitor  does not use the cleanser.”

- S is for Sociopath. 
Nay Istari don't use the terminology of psychology to describe their megalomania. Gwynfor

- Gimli:  “S is for _ shampoo _.  That is easy to read.”
Legolas:  “Nay!  _ Aragorn _ does not use the _ stuff _.”glorfin2

- Gimli:  “S is for sautee.  That is easy to read.”
Legolas:  “Nay!  Sam does not use the cookbook and neither should we - let's just boil the darn mushrooms and be done with it. Thank Eru it's Aragorn's turn to cook tomorrow. ShortyElf

- Gimli: “S is for Scouring. That is easy to read.”
Legolas: “Nay! PJ does not use the extraneous episode to wrap up the story.” Clueless_I

- Gimli:  “S is for $@*%.  That is easy to read.”
Legolas:  “Nay!  Saruman does not use the s-word.” Randraug

- Gimli:  “S is for Skippy Peanut Butter.  That is easy to read.”
Legolas:  “Nay!  Sauron does not use the crunchy brand.”Yncanes

4.  Briefly describe the memorial for Boromir.

- They had a little rock with the words, "He finally stopped talking" inscribed on it. Estella Brandybuck  ROFLMAO!

- A rousing chorus of 'Always Look on the Bright Side of Life' sung by a company of High Elves, accompanied by Merry on accordion. ShortyElf

- Gimli:  “There he goes over the falls.“
Boromir:  “I’m not dead yeeeetttttttt!”
Aragorn: “Did your elf ears hear something, Legolas?”
Legolas:  “Hmmm, now how do we get rid of the dwarf?” Darkstone

- Cannabalism. Kendig

- They signed him to appear in a movie entitled "Weekend at Boromir's"Clueless_I

- Here lies Boromir, the Fair, Brave and Strong.
If not for the Orcs, he might have lived long.
But do not grieve much, for he had the last laugh --
The Ring was just nickel and tin, half and half. The Trees of Yavanna

- Dead guy.  Mourners. Ayaediran  (well that is brief!)

- Think fangirls singing "Poor Jud is Dead" from Oklahoma. Celebrantiel

- A tasteful rendition of the Falls of Rauros in genuine plastic with real waterfall action. Batteries not yet invented. Kimi

5.  What did Legolas, Gimli and Aragorn surmise had happened to Frodo and Sam?

- Frodo and Sam were defending themselves against a lawsuit claiming that hobbits encouraged people to be fat. EowynDernhelm  ROFLMAO!

- They got lost in Varda Elentari's closet Yncanes

- They were gone. The Fellowship could only see two explanations.

       1--They went to Mordor alone.

2--Before they could cross the lake...
a gang of bank robbers took them hostage.
The cops gave chase.
They got away... but Sam caused a crash.
When they regained consciousness, they had lost their memory.
An ex-con picked them up...
mistook them for fugitives and shipped them to Istanbul.
There they met some Afghan raiders...
who took them to steal some Russian warheads.
But their truck hit a mine in Tajikistan.
They survived, took to the hills...
and became Mujaheddin... Eärendil The Mariner

- Answered the three riddles correctly to make it across the river, only to be arrested for slaying the documentary host. Varda's Songbird

- A spin-off franchise. Pukel-man

- Ther weren't exactly sure but they thought that Frodo and Sam had been kidnapped by rock and roll loving aliens who couldn't stomach the pair's off tune singing to we are the champions. Ciars

- They had finally realized that the only way to do it was to elope. luinfalathiel

- They left in a huff, incensed by Boromir's attempted theft of Frodo's LOTR underoos. Seillib

- Based on the evidence at hand, they gathered that Frodo and Sam had been abducted by aliens to be used for genetic research and be returned in 48 hours. They then proceeded to discuss how the extra-terrestrials would react to the Ring... LOTR_nutcase

TECPs (theme extra credit)

Varda Elentari  -- A TORnsib in med school, oh the horror!

1.  What wound did Aragorn hear that alerted him that Boromir was in trouble?
-the sound of a sharp, pointed object piercing Boromir's epidermis, dermis, and hypodermis, puncturing his pectoralis major and pectoralis minor (possibly severing the lateral and medial pectoral nerves), shooting through his external and internal intercostals, rupturing the internal thoracic artery on the way, entering the pleural space, piercing his pericardium and lodging deeply in his left ventricle.  Aragorn had good hearing.

2.  What was Boromir’s confession before he died?
-"when I die, I will lose control of all my muscles, including my bowels and my bladder.  Just thought I'd warn you."

3.  Gimli:  “S is for sacrum.  That is easy to read.”
     Legolas:  “Nay!  My family physician does not use the proper terminology.  He calls it the a** bone.”

4.  Briefly describe the memorial for Boromir.
-his body was preserved by transcardiac perfusion, sectioned transversely, and
mounted using a special procedure involving- heey!  WAKE UP!!

5.  What did Legolas, Gimli and Aragorn surmise had happened to Frodo and Sam?
-VE and a 22 blade.

Roheryn  -- Limerick lessons.

1.  What wound did Aragorn hear that alerted him that Boromir was in trouble?

The sound that Aragorn heard
Was actually rather absurd:
“But why is the rum gone?”
Cried Persnickety Sean;
So the Ranger disasters inferred.

2.  What was Boromir’s confession before he died?
In Boromir’s dying confession,
He revealed a secret obsession:
A pirate at sea
He wanted to be –
An astounding, disturbing transgression.

4.  Briefly describe the memorial for Boromir.
In the interests of non-charcoaled dinner
Ro’s slacking, committing a sinner:
For if a limerick I write
My dinner tonight
Might best be tossed out in the binner.

5.  What did Legolas, Gimli and Aragorn surmise had happened to Frodo and Sam?
Aragorn, Legsie and Gimli
Surmised the hobbits went swim-li –
The pirate-ship lurking
With pirates a-smirking
Inspired such foolhardy whim-lis.