EIA #14: The Ring Goes South
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LOL and ROFLMAO credit! 1. Pippin: “I shall go, unless they __________. There must be someone with _______________ in the party.” § “I shall go, unless they don't plan to stop for breakfast, second breakfast, elevensies, luncheon, afternoon tea, dinner, supper, and the occasional snack. There must be someone with a *very* large backpack in the party.” Darkstone ROFLMAO! § “I shall go, unless they get the dancing girls out in the next five minutes, I think I was misinformed! Still, there must be someone with a degree in striptease in the party.” Amatire § “I shall go, unless they whine. There must be someone with cahunas in the party.” Pukel-man § “I’ll go, unless they hired another clown. There must be someone with comic timing in the party. brandytook § “I shall go, unless they streak. There must be someone with pants on in the party.” Ayaediran § “I shall go, unless they _dress me up in MC Hammer pants_. There must be someone with _up to the minute fashion nous_ in the party.” Sowen § “I shall go, unless they lock all the Port-o-Potties. There must be someone with normal bodily functions in the party.” RosieLass § "I shall go, unless they have an odd phobia about foot hygiene. There must be someone with clipped toenails, un-cracked soles, lint-free extremities and shaved ankles in the party." Kendig § “I shall go, unless they duct-tape me to Figwit. There must be someone with a knack for getting us all in very deep trouble in the party.” Miriel Telcontar § “I shall go, unless they send along my parole officer. There must be someone who knows how to have fun in the party.” LOTR_nutcase
§ He said that he had other preoccupations but what he really needed to do was to detangle his eyebrows from his gilded headband. WhiteAslan ROFLMAO! § "Elrond has no excuse. Elrond needs no excuse."... *mumbles*"I was there 3000 years ago. Been there, done that, still paying for it..." Eowyn of Penns Woods § No Neo. Cheshire Cat § He had to wash his hair. Amatire, Anamírë § He wasn't allowed to take Figwit, his man-servant. Lady Elizabeth § Have you ever tried trekking cross-country in a long dress? Annael
§
Dental appointment. Elladan: Dad, that was your
excuse last week § He really wanted to go, but he was contracted to film the next two parts of The Matrix SarcasticElf § Elrond announced that regretfully he could not follow the Fellowship as he had a sore throat from saying 'Morrrdorrr' too often. DAS § One word, hemorrhoids. Miriel Telcontar
§
His LOTR sleeping bag was
in the laundry.
Seillib 3. What gifts did Bilbo hand down to Frodo?
§ Suspecting that the Fellowship would be stopping in Lothlorien, Bilbo presented Frodo with a mithril thong, 101 Kinky Things To Do With Lembas, and a bottle of elanor-scented massage oil. LOTR_nutcase ROFLMAO (esp. the book title) § His old B-52's 8-tracks Varda's Songbird (*Tallers Sings* roam if you want TOOhooo . .. roam around the world) § A Rivendell Snowglobe, a Mines of Moria Paperweight and a Shards of Narsil Letter Opener. Cheshire Cat § A book of songs, a new improved apple decorer and the latest camp recipe cook book. Ciars § Rheumatiod arthritus and male pattern baldness. Anamírë § A whoopie cushion, fake doggie-poo, and his second-best rubber chicken. RosieLass § A souvenir letter opener from Gondolin that glowed blue whenever an orc or overdue bill was around, and Legolas’ old pinafore that a sentimental Thranduil had had mithril plated. Darkstone § Some string, a jack, a broken penknife, gum, and three marbles. Answering the question "What has he got in his pocketses?" at last . . . Annael § Bad luck and his poor center of balance (AKA falling down a lot). WhiteAslan § Bilbo gave him a sombrero and a snorkel (he was a bit confused about Middle Earth geography). DAS § A coupon for Cirith Ungol Pizza Delivery. The orcs of Mordor may be slimy and evil and on Sauron’s doorstep, but they can make darn good pizza! piccolo § We’ll never know. An unnamed elf--who was, of course, taller than Frodo--nicked the gifts as Bilbo handed them down. Bilbo never knew, and Frodo didn't have the heart to tell him Little Red
§ Gandalf wanted to go over Caradhras, Aragorn and Gimli through Moria, Boromir through Rohan, Merry, Pippin and Sam back to Rivendell, Frodo to sleep and Bill to Bree. This got them frozen, lost in the dark, bruised ego-wise, smacked upside the head, hallucinating and (for Bill) into an odd arrangement involving three fillies, a crate of over-ripe apples, an itinerant eskimo and a keg of Barliman's best ale. Kendig ROFLMAO! § Gimli's cousin Vizzini, The Cliffs of Insanity. Vizzini's Warg Chow now. Eowyn of Penns Woods § Let's face it, nine guys together on a journey - they are not going to agree on which route to take, and if they DO go the wrong way, none of them will stop to ask for directions. Cheshire Cat § It was Merry's idea to take a detour through Nashville. Elberbeth § Pippin suggested they stop off at the Moulin Rouge for a bite to eat and a cancanning elf each.. *shudder* what a thought! Amatire § Bill the pony and he led the Fellowship from Horse ranch to horse ranch looking for his perfect mate! brandytook § Legolas - they were forced to stop in at the 'Salon de Luthien' (Hobbit Waxing our Speciality) while he got his hair rebraided. Saving Middle Earth from the Forces of Darkness is no excuse for bad hair. MotherWasAHamster § The hobbits suggested a way that included visits to all the local pubs which seemed agreeable to the other members of the Fellowship but alas alas before even arriving at the first pub they lost their way. Sowen (AKA a bar crawl) § Pippin proclaimed that he knew an "old shortcut" to Mordor that would save them many days' walking. After getting hopelessly lost and confused, Pippin led them even further into the wilderness, insisting that he didn't need a map. The Fellowship finally had to pull into a gas station in Tijuana to ask for directions. Anamírë § Gandalf's rather deliberate "shortcut" conveniently led by a laundromat, bathhouse, and the Gap of Rohan, where everyone was outfitted in clean clothes. LOTR_nutcase
5. What drink did Gandalf give the hobbits to steel them against the cold?
§ Non-alcoholic beer. Frodo begged off, Merry said that he'd rather drink his own urine, Pippin said that he'd also rather drink Merry's urine and Sam just ended up getting tiddly anyway. Kendig (ROFLMAO, and uh gross!) § Prestone antifreeze, at least that's what he said it was. Vizzini said "Inconceivable!" *glug* "Everybody knows that there are no cars in Rivendell or the Shi----". Gandalf: "Right. Now who wants the good whiskey?" Eowyn of Penns Woods § My Mother in Laws lethal Polish drink, Wisnioska made from Vodka and Cherry Syrup. Enough to warm anybody's cockles. Cheshire Cat § Car de-icer and WD40. Pukel-man § 'Isildur's Bane' - a vodka based cocktail currently the rage at all ME aftershow parties. MotherWasAHamster § They did Kamazee shots, one for every time Frodo had fallen down or cried thus far Ayaediran § Pan-Galactic Gargle Blasters. RosieLass § A shot of something called “the flaming eyeball.” One shot is all it takes. glorfin2 § A couple of "sex on the beach" shooters. Made them feel quite warm! Miriel Telcontar § Robitussin, extra strength Varda's Songbird § Gandalf gave them a warming spirit that he said was mirover, but was really Glen Took whiskey that he had stolen from Pippin's backpack. DAS
TECPs and extra credit Estella Brandybuck, Elberbeth, Ciars, glorfin2 and Amatire--you cracked me up with your bit of Hulk/Pippin theme. And these two themes were excellent (my appologies to the males) 1. Pippin: “I shall go, unless they decide to bring the men along. There must be someone with feminine hygiene products in the party.”
2. What was Elrond’s excuse for not going with the Fellowship? He had cramps and really didn't feel up to it.
3. What gifts did Bilbo hand down to Frodo? A bottle of Midol and a heating pad.
4. Whose idea was it to go by an alternate route, and where did that route take them? After they ran out of Midol, Boromir proposed they take the route that led them past the Walgreen's just south of town.
5. What drink did Gandalf give the hobbits to steel them against the cold? Hot cocoa liberally laced with Kahlua. At first the hobbits, plagued with PMS, flocked to the chocolate, but they didn't get very far before they were all fast asleep, leaving Gandalf with the peace and quiet he'd craved all week.
1. Pippin: “I shall go, unless they expect me to do anything. There must be someone with a remote control, keg and recliner in the party.” I mean, he's a guy. You were expecting him to have a real answer? He was going for the cultural enrichment or something? Puh-lease... 2. What was Elrond’s excuse for not going with the
Fellowship? 3. What gifts did Bilbo hand down to Frodo? 4. Whose idea was it to go by an alternate route, and
where did that route take them? 5. What drink did Gandalf give the hobbits to steel
them against the cold?
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