Friday, November 23 2:09pm

    Long time coming, yes?  Right, well...  I suppose I just haven't had the patience to yet again pour over why my life is so miserable.  But...  Let's get this over with...
    Well, my sister went and got married of all the stupid things to do when you barely turn 18 and haven't even experienced all life has to offer and don't know what the fuck-so-ever you are doing...  I hardly even know her husband, I've only ever seen him from perhaps a grand total of twelve fucking times.  I don't understand -why- they just -had- to get married.&  They have -no- financial stability, and they have to live with my asshole of a father for fuck's sake!  I had a cousin that got married unexpectedly around a year ago...  Right after the wedding, she told everyone she was pregnant.  Though my sister has yet to say -anything- (at all, about anything), it only leads me to suspect the same...
    Thanksgiving was yesterday...  Thoroughly as demented as I knew it would be.  My father...  *sigh*  Cliche' bastard moron.  Took us to a fucking buffet for dinner...  Where all the other fucking freaks go.  So there I was, just another freak amoungst freaks...  King of them even.  And there -he- was, in all his horny old sick fuck glory, flirting with all the waitresses at least 35 years his younger.  My sister and her new husband were there...  We all just sat at the table, not talking...  I could feel the tension in the air, it was awkward to say the least.  When I caught my sister alone, I took the chance to ask her what was wrong.  Typically, she wouldn't let on what it was, and just said, "I'm just annoyed." Though she wouldn't tell me about what...  So we ate...  And then before we left...  And I am thoroughly embarrassed to admit this, but I'm thoroughly embarrassed everytime I mention my father...  But he packed his coat pockets with roast before leaving.  *sigh*  And then as we were heading to the door, I saw this absolutely beautiful girl...  But at the time, that wasn't the thing that I was thinking...  What I -was- thinking was, "That lace up top is -gorgeous-!" ...Oh fuck, I'm gay.
    Well, it's snowing outside...  If that's not an indication to off myself, I don't know what is...  I don't think I can live through another Utah winter...  *sigh*  Guess I don't really have a choice in the matter...