Thursday, February 07  8:18 am

    Well, it's February...  That god awful month.  The month of that holiday that broke my heart every damned year.  The month where my first love left me forever.  It also happens to be the month wherein I will be moving to Louisiana.  The 23rd is the offcial date.  Here's to new beginnings, eh?
    Dave came over last afternoon.  I was going to pay off a long standing debt I had with him and see a movie.  It's strange...  But I've neglected to tell him that I was moving until just yesterday.  I don't know why...  I guess I'm going to miss him, really.  I mean...  I won't be missing the Dave I know today..  Rather I'll be missing the Dave I grew up with.
    In any case, he picked me up and I cashed the check.  There was this extremely cute, although extremely Mormon-looking girl working the window.  When I handed my check and ID over to her, she saw my leather glove I was wearing with the spikes on the fingers.  "Wow...  Aren't you afraid you'll poke your eye out with that, or something?"  And I will forever remember my reply, simply because it was so horrible and cheesy.  I leaned in and gave her this weird look and said in a serious voice, "Yes...  But that's a risk I have to take..." *roflmao!!!*  That was lame...  Harshly.  Oh well, s'better than what I usually do faced off against a cute girl...  Namely nothing.
    Speaking of cute girls, and I don't mean to interrupt my story but I must, I've had a dilemma as of late.  There's a girl I know in Kentucky, I've mentioned her before...  But I'm getting ahead of myself.  She is wholly adorable, and highly intelligent...  And very kawaii(cute).  She and I had been friends for a while, she'd ask me to interperet dreams for her.  Dunno why, I'm a nutcase.  I wouldn't trust myself to interpert english....  That doesn't make sense.  Anyway...  One day, she mentioned to me some guy she liked...  And the most horrible horrible thing occured!  ...I became green with envy.  Suddenly I realized, "Oh dear!  I've begun to like this girl too much!"  I wrote about this in earlier entries...  Though not in so many words.  In any case, I decided that I had to stop talking to her.  For many many good reasons.  Chiefly, I didn't want to burden her, or put her into an uncomfortable position, or screw her up.  I knew that I wouldn't... That I couldn't keep my damned stupid mouth shut.  Sooner or later, after bottling it up after so long, and likely at the most inopportune moment...  I'd just burst out and say something utterly inappropriate.  Like "MY GAWD I LOVE YOU!" or some other rubbish.  Then she'd be in an awkward position...  I mean... Some strange freak thousands of miles away blurting out such things to me would horrify me...  I should know, Huw does it all the time (Gyeh heh, just kidding mate).  She likes me...  But only as a friend, and a distant one at that.  She wouldn't want to hurt my feelings by rejecting me...  Thus the awkward position.  "But Drac!  What if she was interested?!" I hear you say...  Alright, let's just take a look at that hypothetical (read: impossible) scenario.  If, by some strange event (If the planets were aligned, and she were drunk, and dropped on her head from a great height all at the same time), she were to be interested...  Then she would have to deal with a long distance stupid stupid "E-Relationship" (sorry, I felt a buzzwor would be appropriate... Wait no, buzzwords are never appropriate.  Kill me.).  We would never ever be able to see one another.  There's also the fact that she is (IMO) much too young for me.  Muchly.  Way too muchly.  Verily.  Hugely.  She was only 17 when I first started talking to her (Stop throwing your rotten fruit!  I am NOT a pedophile!!!).  She's 18 now...  "Legal" 'n' wot not...  But I just wouldn't feel right.  I'm a very commited (in every sense of da woid!  Nyuk nyuk!) person...  She's young, she has a lot of life to live.  A lot of experience to have.  A lot of guys to dump.  She's bright as a button (Wha?!), but it just wouldn't be right...  Besides, LOOK AT ME!  Am I in any way her type?!  (The peanut gallery all shout, "NO!")  Right!  She's Sailor Moon, and I'm... Um...  Uh...  Well, I'm an orc(fat, disgusting, evil)!  Right.  She's looking for Tuxedo Mask (Hehe... What a dork!), not a freak....  Anyway, fast forward a coupla months.  I hear from Brady that she's been looking for me because MY PAGE HAD GONE DOWN!!!  It didn't actually go down, I just renamed the index to log.  The reason I did this is because I was posting links to other things on my site, and didn't want to make it -that- easy to find my log.  Anyway, I started screaming and pulling out my hair.  Why?  Well A) I did not know she knew about my site!!!  and B) I had written about her in past entries!!!!!!!!!...!!!  !  .....!!!!!!  Which meant that she possibly KNEW all along...  Which did not sit well with me...  Because it raised all sorts of questions that I do not think I want the answer to.  Chiefly... If she has known all along, and still wants to talk to me........  *sigh*  Just forget it.  I've decided my course of action.  That will be the end of it.  I don't want to talk about it anymore.
    Anyway...  Back to my story.  From the bank we went to a Mexican resturant.  He had a gift certificate or some such.  There was a cute girl working there, who Dave could not stop talking about.  "Man, she's got such a nice ass!"  "Oh MAN!  Heh, I'm into the Latinos, yo..."  ....*shudder*  Granted, she was cute...  But from the looks of her, she couldn't have even been 18.  I was guessing 16.  Not that this would stop Dave...  *shudders again*  From there we went to Dave's apartment... Well...  The apartment he's sharing with a friend.  We roasted a bit...  For oldtime's sake I guess.  We just kinda hung around and shot the breeze, and then he played on his tables for a while.  I must say, he has gotten much better than last I heard.  We left to the library so he could pick up some tax forms, and then we dropped them off with his mom.  Dave decided he wanted to bring a friend of his along...  His name eludes me just now.  He was an interesting fellow...  All thugged out.  Then we went over to this kid's house who was going to buy us some liquor.  This kid was...  Interesting as well.  He was tall and skinny... Kinda geeky looking.  He's the kind of kid that gives every new person he meets a tour of his house.  He even showed me his pet frog...  *shrug*  We went into his living room, and the other kid pointed at the tele and said, "What's that?"  And then he and Dave started laughing.  I took a gander, and was treated to a view of a woman doing... Uh... Questionable things with a cylindrically shaped object...  "Yeah, I get unlimited porn."  He says.  Ahhh ha...  Right.  So he hands us a fifth of.... Um...  Bicardi... Something... Or other...  Whatever it was, it was hard.  We drove down to the theater and got out of the truck.  We were half way across the parking lot when that kid stopped and ask, "Hey...  Did we not pay him???"  And then we all stopped and started laughing because yes, we had forgot to pay him for the booze.  Then we proceeded inside and purchased our tickets...  I really wanted to chug the whole thing BEFORE we went inside.  Taking contraband into a theater is an easy way to get arrested.  But...  I was in a daring (By daring, I mean I didn't care what happened to me at the time) mood, so I went along with it.  This kid...  Heh... He's bold enough, but has NO discretion.  Dave buys a large fruit punch so we can mix the alcohol in with it during the movie.  We take our seats, and he takes the bottle from his jacket and passes it off to Dave's jacket.  "That's how we do it in New York!" he says.  I suppose New York is full of dumb shits.  *shrugs*  The movie started, and this kid pours some of the booze into a small cup he acquired from the concession stand.  We passed it around...  It was pretty strong.  Like vodka with just a hint of berry.  During the course of the movie, we kept tossing back shots and drinking the mix.  We drank the entire fifth by the time we were halfway through the movie.  Needless to say, we were fairly plastered.  When we got up to leave, this kid accidently kicks the bottle over with a loud "CLANG!" then goes, "WOOOO!" ...Hahaha, he was more than a little bit tipsy.  I was pretty hammered myself, but I at least maintained SOME composure.  This kid was staggering all the way down the hall... Hehehe.  We all make a beeline for the bathroom...  For obvious reasons.  There was some bizarre guy in the stall next to me...  "It stinks in here!  I wonder why?  Imagine that, a bathroom that stinks.  What a novel concept."  I couldn't help but chuckle.  Then he turns to me and says, "You enjoying your pee, there?"  I was drunk and boggled at this, but I laughed and nodded.  "You've been going for quite a while."  I chuckled and said, "Uh, yeah...  Been holding it in."  We left the theater, and I was repeatedly asking Dave if he was fit to drive.  He hadn't drank as much as us, but I didn't think at the time, nor do I now, think he was fit to drive.  But I decided to tempt fate anyway...  He drove well enough, I suppose...  But still, I won't ever do that again.  Not that I care all that much for my safety, but that truck would pulverise whatever it hit...  I had him drop me off at home.  I was dead tired.  After mumbling drunkenly at Brady for a minute, I crawled into bed.  I expected to wake up with a massive hang over, but was surprised to find that I didn't have a headache at all.
    Anyway, I've spent more than an hour on this entry.  That's enough for now...

Sunday, February 10  10:21 am

    Oh, the five ring circus of corruption that is collectively known as "The Olympics".  What an insiduos farce...  The torch came through town yesterday...  What nonsense.  I was driving down to my sister's because she wanted me to take her to the mall, and I passed a street where the torch relay exchange would take place.  It was a couple of hours before the actual event, and already cars and people lined the streets.  It all gave me a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach...  I can't exactly explain why, but it just did.  I took my sister to the mall...  And went insane waiting for her as she took her liesure trying on different pairs of pants.  "Hot Topic", the homoginized underground culture mall outlet, is where we spent the bulk of our time.  I loathe that place.  Outside the store, I am ridiculed for my appearnce... Inside the store I am gawked at like some display manakin...  I don't know which I hate I more.  One of the girls working there suggested I hook a chain from my collar to my sister's belt...  I am quite sure she didn't think we were related.  We didn't quite know how to respond to that.
    When she (finally) made her purchase, I took her back home.  Had I known what madness lie ahead of me, I would have volunteered to stay longer.  I dropped her off and headed back home.  Unknowingly, I turned onto a road where the torch was to be coming down.  The former mass of people had become a throng.   They were all over the streets.  Tiring of the cheer, I presented them all with my middle finger whilst I drove along.  The ensuing shouts of rage and anger was enough to momentarily brighten my mood...  Until I drove into gridlock traffic, that is.  Seeing that it was becoming hopeless, I threw the truck into park and waited for the damned thing to pass through.   After what seemed like forever, the torch runner finally came into view.  As he passed by my truck, I offered him and his stupid torch the same courtesy I had given the teeming crowds.  My finger.  He, and all those who saw my gesture, looked thoroughly indignated.  I guess it was nothing personal, really...  I just felt the need to express my sentiment for the whole situation.
    My Grandmother...  Histrionic even in her elder years, got to run with the torch briefly.  She came home with such an aura of self-import that you would have thought she held the penis of Jesus or something...  ...??  ...Anyway.  Her attitude is precisely why I gave everyone the finger.  At it's best, the Olympics are a sickeningly glorified advertisement...
    I think there's a word that would sum up how I feel about the whole thing...  Blech.

Wednesday, February 13  12:31 am

    This is gonna be my last update for awhile.  I'm finally moving to Louisiana.  It won't be in New Orleans though, rather a smallish town close to it.  We all decided that "n'awlins" wasn't really the best place to bring young children to.  I just hope this small town doesn't have equally small minds...
    I'm fugly sick with the flu right now...  I guess it had to have happened sooner or later, eh?  I've barely been able to get out of bed these past few days.  Miserable.
    I haven't gotten to talk to Huw for a long time now...  It may be all just coincidence, but I can't help but feel he's mad at me for something.  He's just been rather offish as of late...  I really hope that isn't the case.  I don't really know what I could've said or done to piss him off, but I guess it's a possibility.  I likely won't be able to talk to him before I move, which really really disappoints me.  Gah...  I dunno.  Cripes.
    I guess it's that evil holiday again...  No, I won't utter it's name.  Just thinking about it makes me want to vomit.  Or is that the flu talking?  I dunno...  Stupid February.
    Anyway, as you can see, I am entirely out of sorts because of this flu thing.  I hate to leave with such a short entry...  But I definitely need to lie down.

    Adieu, Utah, adieu...