I’m down I don’t know what it means but I’m down having my emotions manipulated by a heartless machine so who cares I know some do but I ignore the bright side everywhere to hide but I know I shouldn’t I’m down I am laughing at myself lost inside myself all I can do is try and help others for it is to late for me and they say it’s good but I don’t feel it is enough and I say “shut the fuck up” but they do it anyway how do they communicate to person who won’t hear but wants too? how can they help I express my pain my self in so many ways not enough an escape I know of many tricks and some seem to work but don’t It’s not fair sometimes in my favor but usually in someone else’s and the scary thing is that that is a lie It works so much in my favor and the bad things I ignore, so I don’t feel like I do like now made aware of false things by a heartless machine and told their true I know of no answer and this poem is unfinished and never will be but this is good enough a harmless addiction to the love of not being in pain by my own mind I don’t care but I do and love to care but for a moment ago I was made falsely in pain for others that do not exist but are around in the world in our heads in our thoughts in our lives I only love those who are kind and good but only know hate for a little while I can cope with horrifying knowledge but don’t know how I do it I have felt the truest love and often ask myself if I would feel pain if one I loved died I can tell most of the time the difference between love and infatuation I learned the word ‘infatuation’ from Stephen King Scary isn’t it How the most emotional times in your life can be calmed or enhanced by simple words when none are needed I think there is an end to this and this is it: I’ll love and hate and adore and comprehend and do all they ask and have separate feelings from those who tell me what I should only feel I will try sometimes and not try on others but I will succeed if I direly want something and I will get it life is bleak and good and full of different truths and all of them I accept with open arms but throw some out in angst but welcome them again and will do even if you tell me not to so goodbye for now and farewell 
