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Jackie's Lament


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Open letter to the functional illiterates on this board -- SR, Pres. AKFC for boys who burn leaves with magnifying glasses then feel witty., 13:34:46 01/03/01 Wed

Riff-raff:
Don't take it out on the self-styled President of the Apollonia Kotero fan club because you can't read, ok?
Are you one of those that chooses books with plenty of pictures?
I guess the NY Times will never make it to your mailbox.
It's called school. Please go back for your GED if you haven't started already. This would be an excellent New Year's resolution to some.
Me 'essays' end when the jist of the story is exhausted. Until that time, I feel the reader needs to explore all the possible angles in the hopes of providing a vivid senario rich in complexity and scope.
The real problem is with the HTML, NOT lengthly essays which requires hordes of memory. Apparently, the Amish towelhead doesn't seem to grasp that concept and here he is posting html ad nauseum and then blaming me for the board's poor loading time.
Well, guess what taint breath? It's called cablem modem or 'time to get a better PC', bub.
Game, set and match.

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Your ATTENTION PLEASE -- **, 13:24:28 01/03/01 Wed



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Replies:

[> FUCK -- **, 13:27:23 01/03/01 Wed

FUCK


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[> [> re: FUCK ... you don't need to get her that. It seems someone already gave her one recently. -- Jocko, 13:31:51 01/03/01 Wed


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[> [> A Present -- Sir Lurks alot, 13:38:13 01/03/01 Wed



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[> I recommend... -- ....., 13:36:30 01/03/01 Wed



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[> [> perhaps something more feminine? -- ..., 13:40:15 01/03/01 Wed



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[> Caroline, this is how you use it. -- ...., 13:38:49 01/03/01 Wed



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Damn! This board took forever to load -- massa mlz!, 11:40:49 01/03/01 Wed


I be back -- whew! New Years 2001 in Las Vegas was a trip. Fireworks, yard-long margaritas, a hundred thousand drunk gamblers yelling "WOOOOOOO!!!!"

Hot internet rumor this morning: SADDAM HUSSEIN DIED OF A STROKE.

Who had him in the death pool?

PS -- Howard sounds great the last couple days. The R&R seems to have done him good.

Glad to see hot chicks posted. Kudos to all!!!

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Could someone please archive half the posts below? -- Princess, 10:12:19 01/03/01 Wed

And in all-important St Louis news - yesterday, the Rams fired most of the defensive coaching staff.............only four months too late.

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Replies:

[> Just deleting the rambling diarrhea-of-the-keyboard nonsense from Nurse Diesel should speed things up considerably -- Elroy, 11:12:30 01/03/01 Wed


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[> If only we could Princess. This piece of crap Voy system lost the ablity to remove any posts after the SSB/Carolslut Poll posted below. All posts below that are now unmovable. This could be fixed by removing the poll, (which Carolwhore is cheating at again, as if we believe there are 9 people who would want to boff that drizzeling-shitbag), but I will leave that up to the big dogs to decide. -- , 11:16:50 01/03/01 Wed


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[> [> Re: If only we could Princess. -- Elroy, 11:32:33 01/03/01 Wed

If Doc would just follow his own rules, the board would be much tidier. I quote: 1)No matter how much The Administrators of this site disagree with a post they will not delete it.
(This excludes...filibusters...or nonsensical posts.)


I see a lot of that down below.

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Phys Ed in junior high -- Princess, 10:02:43 01/03/01 Wed

God, Robin brought back some disturbing memories. One, we had to wear these one-piece gymsuits that fit everyone horribly. Made of some stretchy knit fabric, they were incredibly hot. We had to change clothes in big rooms with benches and lockers where everyone could see everything - and the gym teacher used to watch over us. (In fifth/sixth grade this was traumatic for those who got boobs early; in seventh/eighth grade it was traumatic for those who were late bloomers.) Then, about seventh grade, the PE department decided that hygiene should become part of the experience. We were given skimpy little towels and marched through the communal shower room by this big dyke-bitch who actually made showering part of your PE "grade".

When I started high school, we were required to take three 9-week courses in swimming. Girls were allowed to sit out one week out of every four (remember, this was back in the day when virgins didn't use tampons). In a forty minute class period, you had to change into swimsuits, take the class, shower and dry off, dry your hair, and get to your next class. It's a wonder more kids didn't get pneumonia every winter! Anyway, I put off my first swimming class until sophomore year. First day of class we find out the pool is broken, so we played field hockey for nine weeks and got a swimming credit. The next year they decided juniors didn't need to take PE, and I got out of swimming altogether. Heh heh. (For the record, I had five summers of swimming lessons as a kid so I do know how to swim)

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Polls close at 5 pm Eastern today! -- Last chance to vote!, 09:41:43 01/03/01 Wed

Two ways to vote:

1) Click on the banner at the top of this page, and submit your vote in each category.

2) Cut and paste the following list to an email, add your vote, and send to [email protected]
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The THSMB 2000 Poster Hall of Fame

Best Porn Provider

Best Parodist

Most Knowledgeable About Stern

Best Storyteller

Best Poll/Contest

Worst Grammar/Speller

Sexiest Poster

Loser of the Year

Newbie of the Year

Best Illustrator (Animation/Logo/Banner)

Funniest Poster

Most Annoying Poster

Best Flame War (__________ vs. __________)

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Hidden Scenes from an Amish Picnic -- ., 08:18:48 01/03/01 Wed

http://right:[email protected]/members/flintpics/39.html

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Replies:

[> Re: Hidden Scenes from an Amish Picnic -- .,., 09:43:46 01/03/01 Wed

Nice pic of KOABO and burntoutbill.

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My Favorite Martian -- Dead @ 86, 07:12:44 01/03/01 Wed

Congratulations to Howard! Ray Walston was one of Howard's picks in the death pool.




R.I.P.


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Replies:

[> Re: My Favorite Martian -- DrT, 07:25:01 01/03/01 Wed

fix
Hosted by www.Geocities.ws



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[> [> Re: -- .., 07:27:59 01/03/01 Wed



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[> [> Re: My Favorite Martian --
., 08:37:18 01/03/01 Wed

Why?

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[> [> [> You DEAD DICK! -- Jeff Spicoli, 09:31:04 01/03/01 Wed


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While SSB is experimenting with HTML/Fonts she has asked me to enter her in... -- ., 23:10:09 01/02/01 Tue

...the AmIHotorNot contest. Let's see if this pic get's thru the censors and is passed on to the general public for rating. If not, you can still rate her from the link below.

Click To Rate SSB on AmIHotorNot


and for comparison's sake....

Click To See How Caroline Is Doing



LD

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Replies:

[> The first one is a 'maybe', like 'maybe' she should cover up those bruises on her lower region with some kind of makeup. Beer lens doable, otherwise... -- Elroy, 23:27:52 01/02/01 Tue

#2...Oooofah!

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[> Lame Doggie seems to be truly taken by Skanky Southern Bitch. (I agree, the Swede is worse though). But then maybe by focusing on the slutty charms of the Southern Skank he just *might* get away from his fixation on Da Poof. It seems there's still hope for the Bath House Boys.. -- Pageant Dad, 03:31:06 01/03/01 Wed


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[> [> Ugh....'Pageant Dad'....er, KOADB (kingofalldouchebags)... -- ., 11:52:07 01/03/01 Wed

...the only one obsessed with guys appears to be YOU!!! As you seem to be well aware, I like helping out the ladies. I don't care if it's Aerotica, Princess, Dragon Lady, SSB or Caroline, at least I'm not anally fixated on guys, like you seem to be, ie 'Da Poof' or 'Lame Doggie'.

How 'bout focusing your attention on some of the women on the board and maybe your reputation of being a flaming, ass-gaping faggot will be repaired some. I suggest renting 'Boogie Nights' and study how Heather Graham undresses her beautiful body, unless of course that kind of stuff makes you queasy.


LD

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[> Re: While SSB is experimenting with HTML/Fonts she has asked me to enter her in... -- Caroline, 08:25:29 01/03/01 Wed

Well, I am doing much better on another pic I have entered.

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[> [> You call 3.7 better than 4.3? I don't think you understand how this works... the HIGHER the score the BETTER. -- What a fuckin' idiot., 10:52:18 01/03/01 Wed


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[> SSB's pic deemed inappropriate for the public according to... -- ., 12:53:09 01/03/01 Wed

...the moderator's at 'AmIHotorNot.com', too risque. However it seems the 9 people who rated her pic from the above link gave her an average of 9.2 out of 10.

LD

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Two more days and I'm a free man... -- Roadkill, 23:07:27 01/02/01 Tue

My divorce is final on Thursday @ 4:00.

SSB, I never said you were ugly. I always thought that you are quite do-a-ble. You're just a slut, that's all!

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Replies:

[> A FREE AND ............ -- Caroline, 07:29:36 01/03/01 Wed

LONELY PIG

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Dear SSB -- .,., 22:51:02 01/02/01 Tue

Whenever you post, I have to wonder which village is missing it's idiot.

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Replies:

[> It's got to be one south of the Mason-Dixon line... -- Roadkill, 23:02:19 01/02/01 Tue


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To Pageant Pig -- Roadkill, 22:41:46 01/02/01 Tue

Need I say more? You know that you want me. Piggy girl

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Dear lil' SSB -- DrT, 22:39:31 01/02/01 Tue

I appreciate your post, but if you ever try to use html again I will give Buzz your home phone number!!!!

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Replies:

[> Re: Dear lil' SSB -- *.*, 22:43:13 01/02/01 Tue

Sorry, I await my punishment eagerly.



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[> [> The force seems strong in this one... -- Sir Alec Guiness, 22:47:06 01/02/01 Tue


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Idiots and Gentlemen of the Board -- HTML Drill Sargeant, 22:30:44 01/02/01 Tue

YOU WILL, AT ALL TIMES, END ALL ATTEMPTS TO CHANGE THE SIZE AND COLOR OF YOUR SCRIPT WITH NOT ONLY /FONT INSIDE THE BRACKETS, BUT ALSO WITH /HTML INSIDE THE BRACKETS

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Heather speaks her mind! -- ., 22:11:11 01/02/01 Tue



Heather Graham Speaks Out About Sexuality and Organized Religion!




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Replies:

[> Thanks to our SoL for the link! -- LD, 22:12:24 01/02/01 Tue


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[> [> Speaking of the Secretary Of Lust......... -- .., 22:21:21 01/02/01 Tue

I hope she's working on her opening song for the Ivan Awards.

for men who say fuck Billy Crystal, the SoL's got breastesses.

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[> [> Re: Thanks to our SoL for the link! -- not to be a bitch, 22:32:17 01/02/01 Tue

look below from AP

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[> [> [> Just to be specific - Princess mentioned that Heather was in Robin's news, and AP, HGFC supplied the link to the actual story. -- R&D, 22:45:38 01/02/01 Tue


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[> [> [> Sorry...assumed it was Princess...so thanks to AP for the link, much appreciated! -- LD, 23:06:23 01/02/01 Tue


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The adventures of Batman and robin in: "Mjollnar strikes!" -- SR, Pres. AKFC for boys who used to make their bum muscles quiver on the runway on command before AKFC intervention., 21:28:27 01/02/01 Tue

Foiled in their last attempt to tail the AKFC patrol back to headquarters, the Dynamic Duo, with renewed resolve attempt yet again to descredit the humble founder of the Apollonia Kotero fan club.
Our story opens with Batman, Robin and Alfred working in the Batcave; preparing the fuel that powers the Batmobile.
"Holy Refried Beans, Batman", thank g-d, for our special Batmasks. These fumes can do heavy damage.
"How true, boy wonder, I want to have you as a consenting adult who willingly wants to be spewed with Bat Brew as opposed to what amounts to slipping you a mickey.
"Golly, Bruce (Batman has removed his cowl for emphasis)you always know how to hit the right buttons."
"That's because they're all meticulously labelled by our loyal houseguest Alfred."
"Who says being anal retentive is a bad thing"?
"I do", chimes in the Dark Knight.

"To the Bat poles, robin!"
Sliding down the Batpole for all these years has raised the temperature of Bruce's man sac, rendering him sterile. Though his vast fortune can support a family of 20, he has dedicated his life to crime-fighting after being witness to the cruel double slaying of his natural parents when he was a boy. Hence, he continues to use this covenient form of transport to the lower level of his complex with little regret.
As far as robin's risk for killing 'swimming' organisms, Batman selfishly looks the other way.

"Let's try our reconnaissence mission again boy toy, er, wonder".
"Let's do it!"
"Excuse me?"
"Never mind,Batman"

The crime fighters succeed in keeping their focus and tail the AKFC patrol back to their lair.
It's on a two story walk-up in what used to be a dance studio. (Ironic content)
The vast loft has been subdivided into sections, weight room, conference room, day room, recreation room, kitchen, study and SR's office.
The place is spotless as the rank and file learn discipline and ways to uplift morale through cleanliness. It is modern in decor with plush leather sofas and chairs, track lighting, central heat and a/c, polished wood floors. big screen tvs, dvd players, home theatre systems for the ultimate in the porn and recent-release movie experiences.
Off to the side, one of the members is being taught how to dress properly.
"This is a no nonsense crew boy wonder".
"No sh!t, Batman, I feel like a wuss with these duds."
"Try to remember that uniform is in honor of the acrobats who gallantly gave up their lives to protect you."
"Jeez, I know that Batman". But the yellow tights and green briefs, come on?"
"Look robin, it's SR!"

SR has questioned the patrol about the day's events. He has also asked for journals from some of the crew for review. Last week, one member felt he was ready to bear the cross of being born beautiful and wants to set out on his own. He acknowledges he will seek one even more beautiful than he and she will be his soulmate and lover. Plans are currently in the works for a farewell party replete with strippers who go the extra yard.

"Look for any dirt you can find boy wonder". In this day and age, homophobes must pay the price!"
"What are we looking for, Batman"?
"Everyone has a secret, robin, everyone."
"I dunno Batman, this cat Mjollnar is a bad motherf...
"Silence, lad."
"But I was talkin' about SR...
"We can dig it".

to be continued

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Replies:

[> Re: The adventures of Batman and robin in: :" I'm a stupid fucking idiot that fucks Coke whores" -- *.*, 22:34:31 01/02/01 Tue


Well I will reply with the first thing that came to mind, Shove it up your hairy ass Batman, AKA SR, AKA, Coke whore fucker, AKA, Sitting Rash, Hmmm, yes, your new name is sitting rash. I rather like the way it rolls from the lips. NOW, SR, May I call you Linda? Yes, Linda. Please do us all a favor and shut the fuck up you stupid fucking asshole, I don't think I have ever seen so much fucking stupidity come out of one man in my entire life. Don't you shit or does it all go straight to your brain? What the fuck?? Coke whore? You are bragging about wanting to fuck a COKE WHORE????? Batman and Robin??? The looney bin needs to keep some tighter reins on your ass. Now be a good it and take your meds and wander back into the little white room with your delusions and imaginary friends, but do us all just one eensy little favor,
SHOVE THIS STUPIDITY UP YOUR FUCKING ASS AND SHIT IT INTO THE PROPER RECEPTACLE DUMBASS
Thank you for visiting THSMB, and don't let the door hit ya in the ass on your way out.

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[> [> ^^ -- Roadkill, member AKFC for boys who get it, 22:39:55 01/02/01 Tue

The AKFC has deemed this dum bitch a 'bum bitch'

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[> [> [> Re: ^^ -- **Ahem!**, 23:31:23 01/02/01 Tue


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Tomorrow is the last day -- DrT, 20:22:08 01/02/01 Tue

Click on the banner above and be sure to vote for the Ivans, and when you're done with that make sure you apply for this internationally sought after award.

Click Here To Win A Caroline Poison Award


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"Weekend Report"(tm) -- SR, Pres. AKFC for boys who wear baggy pants to mask engorged, angry members., 20:20:03 01/02/01 Tue

Posters:
Once again, it was Friday in the City That Never Sleeps. The weekend before I had 'scored' a pager number and I felt like me karma was on the upswing. Remember that Operation Towelette was an astounding success and a 'spillover'(for lack of a better phrase)effect has served to boost me morale. Let us not forget, the 'Sweetest Taboo' was realized after decades of fantasy. Sometimes I feel like I could play the lead in a remake of "Mandingo".
Meandering down the hill after some Dish Network(tm)entertainment, I enter the pub of choice. The new bouncer who was properly trained by the old one, recognizes me and motions me inside.
The 'fireplug' who has a tendency to gain weight under the mandibular bone flashed me her pearly whites and I pecked her on the cheek. About two weeks ago she successfully aroused the Hammer Mjollnar with some close 'merengue' dancing. This boosted her ego skyhigh and she kissed on both cheeks before leaving like we were in Europe. Alas, she didn't go for me hot lips. I was so drunk that night I would have given her a 'mercy fvck'. After all, who am I to deny a woman in need especially if she's only a six-pack away from looking like Anna Nicole Smith?
Then a coke whore who I really have the hots for enters and stands next to me, awaiting for me to look her way. When our eyes meet I get all happy and whatnot. "Jeeze, what a dick," I thought. But she loves my reactions every time. She IS definite Operation Towelhead material; and I'm trying me best not to turn into a penis around her. Why? Because I want to hammer her with all me might that's why! Well, wouldn't ya know it, she pecks me on the cheek and wishes me a Happy New Year. Then, later on that night she kisses me not once but TWICE. Again she coos, "Happy New Year" and right about now I'm practicing the Baba Booey method of erectile control which he utilized when Cindy Margolis was in the studio and he was clad only in BVDs(tm). I am surprised and say, Wow, an extra kiss, gee thanks!" She winks at me and squeezes me hand before walking away. This guy witnesses this and says to me, "Man, she's cute!"
Me chest swells with pride as I await to urinate. After the release of the rented pisswater I head back to the bar and who do I see? The young lady who gave me her voice mail number last week. She's talking with someone and I purposely place me hand on her shoulder and greet her. She smiles and greets me right back and I continue onward.
Later, after 'patrolling' the dance area, I notice me new friend sitting alone at the bar. I head over and she offers me the seat next to her. I gladly accept and we proceed to chat.
This hot mambo starts to play and I say something to the effect that this song is "da bomb". "Let's dance," she says so we head out.
She's shorter than I would like me lady friends to be but she was proudly displaying some righteous cleavage and this little fact was not lost on me alterego, the EFBM.
While we're dancing, guess who rips her black pantyhose, the lady who's Operation Towelhead materail! "What a bitch", I thought. It couldn't have been a fit of jealousy or could it? Do I have it that way?.....nahhhhhhh.
Still, the cute brunette(who has been the source of countless 'mental notations' and whose image permeates me very psyche at select times during carnal acts with me bride)also managed to lose a shoe in the process and it lands at me feet. I bend down to pick it up, and in a scene from Cinderella, I place the 'slipper' back on her dainty little foot. Well, the chick who reduces me to a stuttering idiot is lapping this up and me lady friend is fuming. The sexy smile is gone from her face and I tell her so. We continue to dance then we cuddle in a corner of the floor as she 'let's it go'.
Soon we're back at the bar and talks gets around to us. "How much do you really like me, SR"? I explain to her that I wouldn't be able to show her here in the den of inequity.
She then elects to 'test' and put her sexy little pout inches away from me grill.
I 'lose control' and make a motion to kiss her on her sweet tender lips. At the last second she pulls away, satisfied that I was qualified to 'represent' the male species as we know it.
She then says something about disliking perverted guys and I act offended. She ate this up and apologized.
"Do you drive,?"
"Yes".
"Can you take me home?"
"(Gulp)Sure hon, I can do you that favor."
We exit the pub and me chest is swelled once again as I'm not the only one who has gazed at her ample rack which she unabashedly paraded around.
On the way home she mentions that she's hungry and we head to a diner for breakfast.
Well I'll be a horse's arse if it isn't SHE who starts with the filthy sex talk.
"Do you like oral?
"Do you like rectum(sic)sex?"
I went into me clinical nursing bag and answered each question as impersonally as possible.
I think that she admired the fact that she didn't reduce me to a blabbering idiot servant.
"Thank G-d I just recently experienced the 3rd input", I correctly deduced. Not losing me cool came up really big.
After breakfast, we head back toward her home and about two blocks before she askes me to pull over to talk.
"(GULP)S-sure, hon."
I shut the lights and keep the car running. Soon the snow flakes start to cover the windshield and we are afforded even more privacy. I play 'Cool Hand Luke' and sit away from her as we chat.
Satisfied that I'm not 'El Bicho grande' she offers the sweet lips that about an hour earlier she cruelly pulled back from me parched mouth.
"Do I have your permission?"
"Of course, you do SR".
With those sweet words, I slowly inch toward her parted lips and ever so gently I press against them.
"What a tender mouth" I thought.
I left it at that and pulled back a bit to look into her puppy-like brown eyes.
Her eyes told me, "Give me a real kiss", and I obeyed oh-so-eagerly.
Before you can say, "10-4", our locked lips opened wider and soon our greedy tongues were jousting. I sucked on hers like it was her private area and she sucked on mine like it was a hammer.
Man, were we getting into it! The kiss must have lasted about 5 minutes. Nuthin' like that first kiss.
I then began to kiss her neck and then I worked me way back up to under her chin.
Regaining our composure, we gaze into each others eyes with big smiles on our faces.
I drop her off but not before we also exchange e-mail addresses. The hoe's e-mail adress is also 'blue'.
Entering me humble abode, I tip-toe up the stairs and slip under the covers, next to that log AKA me bride.
My hot mouth is still savoring her probing tongue and sweet, tender and juicy lips.
I close me eyes and try to picture what the future might bring. I doze off and the next thing I know it was morning.

Addendum: I receive a hot e-mail today. The Ford Probe impersonated a stretch limo in record time. The hints of a 'green light' for carnal activity is hitting me over the head with all the subtlety of a Lennox Lewis right cross to the face. We talked on the phone today and she sweet voice filled me head. I was 'drunk' with lust. I will proceed with caution; always the gentleman. She's a little lady and I'm will dutifully treat her as such. Life is good.

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Replies:

[> Re: "Weekend Report"(tm) -- ., 20:29:20 01/02/01 Tue

Members Know The True Meaning of Satisfaction!


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[> Link it you fucking retard -- DrT, 20:35:14 01/02/01 Tue

I fucking dare anyone to read through this mind numbing bullshit. If this half a fag fucking jerkoff CNA was any kind of a man he would keep his word and kept his posts under 20 words this is all you would have to read;

"Posters:
Once again, it was Friday in the City That Never Sleeps. The weekend before I had 'scored' a pager"


I don't know about you but I think the 20 word version is much better.

RK, don't bother I know your feelings. Why don't you two get a room? By the way I agreed to the rematch, President Linda punked out. You should be proud.

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[> [> That's Mr. RN to you, bub. -- SR, Pres. AKFC for boys who raise dust with their hind legs on dry sunny days into the face of detractors; illiciting watery eyes and a hacking cough., 20:47:30 01/02/01 Tue


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[> The common barfly quivers after being swatted -- im...O.T.H deserves better, 20:48:49 01/02/01 Tue


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[> [> You're a fucking CNA I checked it out. Maybe someday Linda -- DrT, 21:03:41 01/02/01 Tue

I'm just curious did you and iron mike ever do time together. I'm thinking you may have been cellies together at one time. Mybe iron mike kept you from getting you ass kicked every day, and in return.......you know. It makes a lot of "cents"

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[> Re: "Weekend Report"(tm) -- AP, HGFC for boys who honor their bets, 21:23:59 01/02/01 Tue

1382 words. Are you going for a personal record or calling out for help. 1382? that�s 69 times your agreed limit

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Oops! -- Roadkill, 20:10:56 01/02/01 Tue

Here's that pic again!



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Replies:

[> RK You are correct.... this honey is a tasty morsel. -- Doctor Ivan, 20:17:05 01/02/01 Tue


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[> [> Doc -- Roadkill, 23:00:48 01/02/01 Tue

I've been scoping this fine piece of ass out on the web; her name is Tylene Buck, aka Major Gunns (WWF). Run a search on her. She's got tons of fan sites with loads of delish pics! BTW, that thing you posted the other day (You kicked my dog...) was hilarious! Later dude.

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[> This pictorial has been deemed required viewing by the AKFC -- SR, Pres. AKFC for boys who test the chlorine content to ensure no one suffers 'pink eye'., 20:32:37 01/02/01 Tue


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Just one more little thing. -- *.*, 20:09:58 01/02/01 Tue

Buzz, Get your fucking head out of CAROWHORE'S ass She deserved it, if she distributed nude pics of herself in the first place, she fucking deserves it. You have posted mine all over the place, and sure I got mad, But do ya think I stayed mad? NO, because I know I deszerved it. I put them out there for the world and damnit if they are gonna get out, the whole fucking world might as well see them. Stiffen up that limp duick of yours and send me some Carowhore pics, I will post them on nude rating sites and see who wins. I have no fear, Obviously Carowhore realizes that she is so dreadfully ugly that people insult her because of her pics and she is now mad that they are out, well ya know what I say? FUCK HER, she put them out there, it is her fucking fault. Go ahead and post on some more sites, Make sure you put mine bezside herz so she is put to shame though, I may not have buig tits but they are sure as hell more desirable than that skank, Buzz?? She deserves it, and If ya wanna post mine, feel free, I dezerve it, You know about the e-mail and name, that and no funky little things flying around in the pic is all I ask.

Not HGFC, but I have to leave a tagline

For ladies who stand up and take the slap on the ass like a woman.

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Replies:

[> The AKFC deems this post 'written by an internet slut' -- Roadkill, member AKFC for boys who like meat with their potatoes, 20:14:50 01/02/01 Tue


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[> [> Re: Hey there Roadkill -- *.*, 20:20:52 01/02/01 Tue

Find me.


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[> I wish someone would send me all of these nudes.... I'm curious! -- Doctor Ivan, 20:15:23 01/02/01 Tue


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[> [> Doc, no you don't. -- Trust me., 20:27:47 01/02/01 Tue


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[> [> [> After hosting this place for over three years, nothing can damage me I assure you. -- Doctor Ivan, 20:35:05 01/02/01 Tue


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[> [> [> DOC, do me a favour and get this guys IP. Now why does he say that he dont think you want to see them. Can only mean that he has seen them. -- Caroline, 07:23:49 01/03/01 Wed


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[> [> Re: I wish someone would send me all of these nudes.... I'm curious! -- Caroline, 02:55:50 01/03/01 Wed

That makes two of us Doc. I am damn curious too. And actually, they told me that those pics will stay up for at least 12-18 months because of all the positive responses SLUTTY SOUTHERN BITCH. They normaly only have them up there for like 5-6 months.

And since they got such a great response I guess they must have looked really authentic too.

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[> Re: Just one more little thing. -- Caroline, 02:17:41 01/03/01 Wed

Well, maybe you are stupid enough to put up true pornpic on the web. But I am not. Whoever sent those fetish pics in to that site has made those pics themselves. That is the big difference. Now put that guys dick back in your mouth and SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!!

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[> I have showed your pic to some people . They thought you were the most ugly thing they had ever seen. They fucking almost puked -- Caroline, 09:22:07 01/03/01 Wed


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A ten! -- Roadkill, 20:09:21 01/02/01 Tue

This babe blows SSB out of the water!



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Replies:

[> Re: A ten! -- :**(, 20:15:55 01/02/01 Tue

I know I'm not a 10 Roadkill, I never claimed to be.



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BWAAAAAAAAAHHHHHAAAAAAAHA -- ., 19:57:13 01/02/01 Tue

I don't think I have ever laughed so fucking hard in my entire life!!!!!
BWWWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
My eyes are still misty from the tears. Seems CAROWHORE is a 4!! Ok, Ok I have had my laugh, and damn it was good, Oh yeah, thanks for whoever posted the link below. So boys, Chose a pic of me, you guys post it there and let's see who gets the highest rating!! Sounds like fun to me, No playing, don't put anime's in my pic for goodness sake, BUT GOOD GOD, a 4??? BWWWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA, ok, ok, this is all so hysterical to me. So what do you guys think? Buzz? Dr T? LD? You all have my pics, whaddya think? By the way, it is sooooooo nice to be back!! I checked out your site Dr Ivan, VERY interesting!! I enjoyed my tour! and Dragon? Your post below was fucking hysterical, I laughed my ass off, you are 2 funny!! Well I won't get into the whole Jocko thing but (whispering) GO JOCKO!!! Alrighty, glad to be back, Hi there Princess, I missed ya Dave, You too Norway, and especially you Dr T. OK so is it a fucking contest or what guys? Do me Justice and put in a good pic of me, I wanna beat the swede again, It was such joy the last time. lemme know!




This has been reposted and edited by the administrators to correct initial loading problems.

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Replies:

[> *.* -- Roadkill, 20:00:33 01/02/01 Tue

She's still a slutty dum bitch

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[> LD? Buzz? DrT? Roadkill? Doc Ivan? Caroline? Jocko? Dragon? Dave? Mommy and Daddy? -- Won't someone PLEASE pay attention to me?, 20:47:38 01/02/01 Tue


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[> [> Re: Shut the fuck up Roadkill. If you had any balls you would find me, I have tried to find you. Let's see, yeah, here we go, Now find me. That should make it easier on your nimble brain. -- *.*, 21:17:42 01/02/01 Tue

By the way, I never said CaroWhore.


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[> [> [> Re: Shut the fuck up Roadkill. If you had any balls you would find me, I have tried to find you. Let's see, yeah, here we go, Now find me. That should make it easier on your nimble brain. -- Caroline, 02:19:26 01/03/01 Wed

Oh yes you have. Numerous times.

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Has Pat Cooper Finally Gone Over The Edge? -- Click His Pic and See., 19:33:22 01/02/01 Tue

I'M A COMPANY! DON'T YOU FORGET IT!
Read About Pat Cooper's Remarks On Chaunce Haydens Program.

Doctor Ivan

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Funny exchange... -- Roadkill, 19:21:08 01/02/01 Tue

Down the board a bit I found this little gem:


The point here is not that you made mistakes. Everybody does. The point is what an ass you are constantly pointing out the mistakes of others while getting great joy from your delusional superiarity.

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Replies:

[> I think you meant to say "superiority" -- Editor, 07:12:44 01/02/01 Tue


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Message for SB,LoP, HGFC... -- ., 18:51:41 01/02/01 Tue

...beware, you may want to take your "CaroAssist" program underground. LD learned the hard way, take it from someone who knows. Random acts of kindness will not be tolerated. Consider this a warning, you will have to pay the price.




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Ray Walston, everyone's favorite martian. -- Princess, 18:12:24 01/02/01 Tue

Now he's dead.

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Replies:

[> Re: Ray Walston, everyone's favorite martian. -- AP, HGFC, 18:23:30 01/02/01 Tue

he was great as Mr. Hand in Fast Times

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[> Princess, what was Robin's "Heather" mention about this morning? -- LD, 18:43:59 01/02/01 Tue


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[> [> Re: Princess, what was Robin's "Heather" mention about this morning? -- Not Princess, but still a member of the HGFC, AP, 19:26:04 01/02/01 Tue

I Missed the segment also but it was probably about this article http://www.pagesix.com/celebritynews/19184.htm

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Better late than...... early? -- Dragon, 16:41:13 01/02/01 Tue

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to all.
I survived the holidays...barely.

I am going to skip it entirely next year and maybe take a trip down south to avoid the whole fucking mess.

I see "Princess" on the board? Aerotica, is that you?
The stupid Swede claims her bf has 2 other sons!
What's up with this dude? Has he never heard of a fucking condom or is he trying to increase the population of Sweden single-handedly? Caroline, you're just another "baby-mother" and you and you're bastard child will only get whatever money is left from supporting his first 2 mistakes. The assumption being he bothers to support them at all. Of course, the good, decent, hard-working people of Sweden are already footing the bill because you can't keep your legs closed OR figure out how to take ONE PILL EACH DAY.
It sickens me....have a nice day.

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Replies:

[> Dragon Lady, Join us. -- , 16:52:54 01/02/01 Tue

My wife and I have already begun work on a Holiday-Proof fortress that we'll enter on Dec. 15th and not emerge until Jan 2nd 2002.

No one gets in, and no one gets out until the coast is clear of all jingle bells and Christmas tree needles.
There WILL be margaritas and herbs & spices, but anyone caught humming 'Silent Night' will be tossed over the wall.

After the carnage of this holiday season it's the only sane thing to do. Reserve a place now, after Dec. 15th the gates will be closed and None Shall Pass.

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[> [> I'd like to put in my reservation, please. -- Princess, 18:10:04 01/02/01 Tue


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[> duly noted Eunice -- SR, Pres. AKFC for boys who are adept at 'centering' their 'curved blades'., 18:54:01 01/02/01 Tue


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Jocko, please read your email -- Princess, 16:36:25 01/02/01 Tue

The rest of you, please let it go. I'm very uncomfortable with having this issue between me and Jocko discussed here. From this point forward, anything I have to say to him will be done privately. I hope he will show me the same respect.

End of discussion (I hope).

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Yes Jocko it is TRUE -- BUZZ HGFC for men who are starting the year anew, 15:43:35 01/02/01 Tue

It does seem HIGHLY illogical, that I would call this cease-fire with Caroline, I agree with that.
It seems that one of you assholes have been plastering the amature porn sites with her pics. I have NO PROBLEM posting the shit here or even creating sites that VERY FEW people will ever see. BUT, putting it out there for the world to see is a CRUEL UNCALLED FOR, Childish prank. It has gone too far, and as this is a NEW YEAR I intend to try to make this right for her.
If we argue later and eventually drop the cease fire then so be it. I feel partly responsible for this and am going to do my best to help her clean up this mess, no matter WHAT the costs, physical and/or emotional.

Besides Jocko, what the HELL do you know about treating women anyway????

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Replies:

[> Oh Buzzy Buzzy Buzzy... Are you going soft on us? Wait.... wait... something is coming to me... a vision... it's becoming clearer... clearer... it's a vision of... NO!!! Could this be true? Caroline's Baby looking like... like... BUZZ??!! -- , 15:55:44 01/02/01 Tue


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[> [> **cough**pussy**cough**, damn cold -- DrT, 16:05:23 01/02/01 Tue

**cough**hot4swede**cough

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[> Re: Yes Jocko it is TRUE -- Caroline, 05:53:27 01/03/01 Wed

Thanx Buzz.

YOu made an excellent point.

Especially the last part about Jockass.

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*Knabe Update* -- "Albert Knabe II (A.J.)", 15:17:59 01/02/01 Tue

Christmas was a blast this year. Everyone loved the gifts I gave them, I got 'most' of what I asked for, and nobody I know died...

---

Half way through my holidays Muenster had a severe freeze, which I already mentioned in a previous post. Yesterday, I got to see the rest of the damage done to the town. Hundreds of trees were downed, and it looks like anyone with time and a chain saw could do very well in the way of income for cleaning up.

On New Year's Eve, Muenster received a light dusting of snow, just enough to cover the short grass, but not enough to make a good snowman. It is still around, and the temperatures look to be staying low enough to allow it to for a bit longer.

---

True to form my prediction of a 'bad winter' has come true. Many have been left without electricity and heat, some have died due to cold sub zero temperatures. This is only the beginning, it is going to get much worse.

---

New Year's was a bit different this year from last. I spent this year warm and cozy in my living room with a cup of hot chocolate and 'a smidge' of sweet smoke, snowed in and loving it.

2001 Space Odyssey IS one of or possibly THE greatest film I have ever seen. Some parts were VERY VERY VERY slow, and others seemed so easily achievable, and yet it was ever so powerful... I started watching it at 11:00 or so on TCM.

WOW this is a great flick, and I highly suggest seeing it if you have not already.

---

It is the year 2001.

I believe that the 'idiot' mentioned in that quatrane is George W. Bush, and the 'city with the greatest power' is Washington D.C and the Supreme Court.

This guy is a one term Pres. for sure!

I am NOT looking forward to this market drop that is coming...

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Replies:

[> Care should be exercised when touching metal during frigid weather. -- Fred Shero, 20:37:56 01/02/01 Tue


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WHAT THE FLYING FILARSKIS IS THIS I HEAR?!! -- ., 15:09:58 01/02/01 Tue

PULL OVER! REALITY POLICE!

I get on for the first time in a couple of days and my good pal (or so I THOUGHT) BUZZ tells me he's negotiated a cease-fire with Caroslit, and even more, he's trying to help her... get this... REMOVE her nude pics from the net?

Dude, do you have any idea how much trouble we went to to GET THEM UP THERE IN THE FIRST PLACE?!!

Please tell me this is a JOKE! Dr. Truth, Dave, ANYBODY...! Say it ain't so! Has the world gone MAD?!!

The REAL Jocko!
The REAL Jocko!
The REAL Jocko!
The REAL Jocko!


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Replies:

[> Re: WHAT THE FLYING FILARSKIS IS THIS I HEAR?!! -- Caroline, 15:13:48 01/02/01 Tue

You have a problem with that Jocko?

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[> [> No, I have a problem with YOU, cunt-sore. -- Jocko, 15:32:36 01/02/01 Tue


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[> [> [> Re: No, I have a problem with YOU, cunt-sore. -- Caroline, 02:23:00 01/03/01 Wed

Well, you have been able to shut your mouth before. Why not try it again. You just might succeed this time

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[> Read further down the board there, Jocko. Sir BUZZ aint so pleased with YOU, either. -- The Shit-stirring Crew, 15:24:46 01/02/01 Tue


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[> Re: WHAT THE FLYING FILARSKIS IS THIS I HEAR?!! -- DrT, 15:25:17 01/02/01 Tue

Yo Buzz, don't you think there shuld be a little "preamble baby" for you partners in crime. What are you trying to do here and why aren't you showing on my aim?

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My FINAL attempt -- BUZZ, 14:54:46 01/02/01 Tue

I have several times attempted to cease-fire with Caroline. This is my FINAL attempt to do so. I ask not that you cease-fire with her but am only stating my intentions!!!

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WARNING! WARNING! DANGER, WILL ROBINSON! WARNING! -- The Robot, 14:21:11 01/02/01 Tue

Caroline has exceeded her posting limit for the day. Destruction of brain cells in the reading audience is imminent. Take preventative action now.

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Replies:

[> Re: WARNING! WARNING! DANGER, WILL ROBINSON! WARNING! -- Caroline, 14:34:54 01/02/01 Tue

You fucking wish

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[> [> WARNING! WARNING! THE SLUT HAS MULITIPLE PHOTOS ON THE AmIHotOrNot SITE!!! -- check out this one!, 14:57:58 01/02/01 Tue

http://www.amihotornot.com/r/?eid=NUREO8&key=XSV


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[> [> [> Re: WARNING! WARNING! THE SLUT HAS MULITIPLE PHOTOS ON THE AmIHotOrNot SITE!!! -- Caroline, 15:10:48 01/02/01 Tue

cute. very cute

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This one's for b.o.b where ever he is -- DrT, 14:12:02 01/02/01 Tue

Pageant Mom, my sister-in-law, and Caroline decided to have a contest to see who could swim across the English Channel in the quickest time. Pageant Mom was first, she got a third of the way across, got tired and sank to a watery
death.

My sister-in-law made it almost half way before she got to tired and blub, blub, blub dead.

Caroline took her shot, got 3/4's of the way across, felt herself getting tired, turned around and went back.

Don't forget to vote for the Ivans. Only one day left!!!!!

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Caroline's Picture -- Is she hot or not?, 13:50:54 01/02/01 Tue


Perhaps this old gem would get her that rating of 5 she's shooting for.

THE BOARD!!!

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More Fun with Stupid Swedes -- BUZZ, 13:47:09 01/02/01 Tue

You know what? I dont care at all about your oppinion. My baby is due in 8 days and we are both thrilled about it. And so are my bf's two sons
#1 If you didn't care about our opinion, you would NOT be defending yourself so vehmently.
#2 There is a HUGE difference between planning a family in two years and having a whoops happen now!!!
#3 Sven has 2 sons?? PLEASE DO THEM A FAVOR and NEVER let them see you nude, it will scar them for life, and will most likely turn them GAY!!!! The LAST thing that Sweden needs is two more fucking faggots that switched sides because of YOU!!!!!!!!!!

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Replies:

[> OOOPS "VEHEMENTLY" -- BUZZ, 13:47:55 01/02/01 Tue


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Of course the dumb swede has to get in on the attention. -- , 12:37:49 01/02/01 Tue

For this she gets a 4.7???

Go show her what we really think of her

http://www.amihotornot.com/r/?eid=NUA8AY&key=JFQ


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Replies:

[> Re: Of course the dumb swede has to get in on the attention. -- Caroline, 12:40:44 01/02/01 Tue

Ok, there goes my ratings. And besides it is only for fun. Just like any other stuff like that

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[> [> Your ratings are already in the pitts. 4.7 SUCKS. -- Just for fun, you mean like that monkeychild you're about to spawn?, 12:59:16 01/02/01 Tue


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[> [> [> Re: Your ratings are already in the pitts. 4.7 SUCKS. -- Caroline, 13:00:36 01/02/01 Tue

Hey, I submitted my pic only a few hours ago. And it is rising

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[> [> [> [> Re: Your ratings are already in the pitts. 4.7 SUCKS. -- BWWWAAAHAHAHA!!!, 13:23:54 01/02/01 Tue

Even THIS is beating Carowhore out with a 5.6 rating!!!


BWWWAAAHAHAHA!!!

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[> [> [> [> News Flash for Carocunt: 4.7 to 4.6 does NOT count as "rising" -- Board Mathematician, 13:30:04 01/02/01 Tue


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[> [> [> [> [> Re: News Flash for Carocunt: 4.7 to 4.6 does NOT count as "rising" -- Caroline, 13:31:50 01/02/01 Tue

I know. And guess who is responsible for the dropping. HMMM.....Who can it be?

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[> [> [> [> [> [> Hmmmmm -- ., 14:42:23 01/02/01 Tue

amihotornot.com seems to be a very popular site! You can't blame us at the THSMB for over 500 people thinking you're BELOW average. There just aren't that many of us.

By the way dummy, your current rating is 4.5 AND DROPPING!


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[> [> [> [> Re: Your ratings are already in the pitts. 4.7 SUCKS. -- BUZZ, 13:41:37 01/02/01 Tue

really?? You have managed over 400 hits in a few short hours??? PLEASE you lie again!!! AND 4.7 is really CRAPPY!!! I have seen cans of fucking ALPO get higher scores!!!!!!!

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[> [> [> [> [> Re: Your ratings are already in the pitts. 4.7 SUCKS. -- Caroline, 13:43:26 01/02/01 Tue

Well, this is only the first day. Many days to come

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[> Re: Of course the dumb swede has to get in on the attention. -- SAMMI, 12:49:23 01/02/01 Tue

Caroline spreading her wisdom http://clubs.yahoo.com/clubs/amihotornot

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[> [> Re: Of course the dumb swede has to get in on the attention. -- Caroline, 12:56:17 01/02/01 Tue

You got a problem with that?

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[> [> [> Re: Of course the dumb swede has to get in on the attention. -- SAMMI, 13:02:32 01/02/01 Tue

JUST DON'T HURT ME AGAIN BABY!!!

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Serious question for Caroline -- The Board, 11:12:15 01/02/01 Tue

Will you be having natural childbirth with a midwife, a C-section in a hospital, or just squatting in the snow and squeezing it out?

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Replies:

[> Re: Serious question for Caroline -- Caroline, 11:14:07 01/02/01 Tue

WHAT DO YOU THINK?

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[> I heard it is gonna be natural -- BUZZ, 11:15:22 01/02/01 Tue

The Swedish Fire Department already has 5 pairs of "The Jaws Of Life" ready and three more on reserve, just in case!!!!!!!!!

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[> [> Re: I heard it is gonna be natural -- Caroline, 11:18:36 01/02/01 Tue

And I heard that your new brain is ready. You can pick it up at any time

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[> [> [> ^ ^ An old joke, but she actually used it in an appropriate context. -- IOC, 14:26:04 01/02/01 Tue

The judge from Great Britain gives her a 7. The judge from France (where they love Jerry Lewis) gives her a 9. The judge from Brooklyn gives her a 5. The judge from Poland didn't get the joke, and gives her a 1. And the judge from Sweden was busy having un-safe sex and thereby missed her chance to vote.

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I tuned in late -- Marcia, 10:51:22 01/02/01 Tue

What`s the story with Jackie now? Is he back? Thank you.

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Replies:

[> Jackie is back until he's not there anymore. (In other words, he's in negotiations.) -- Princess, 10:53:41 01/02/01 Tue


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Heather Graham mentioned in Robin's news -- Princess, 10:51:09 01/02/01 Tue

I agree - the catholic church is responsible for a large portion of the sexual repression in the world today.

Nice to be out of work again. I am leisurely taking down the tree and putting decorations away, then I'll get to work on a baby quilt. Sometime next week I might call in and ask about my next assignment.

Be jealous, you working stiffs.

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Replies:

[> Jealous? Not me! -- Elroy, HGFC for men who are going to the end of the driveway for the newspaper, 12:01:47 01/02/01 Tue


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[> Re: Baby quilt -- LW, 17:51:13 01/02/01 Tue

That wouldn't be for Caroline would it?

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Great Story This Morning... -- ., 10:12:53 01/02/01 Tue

Doctor Ivan

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GOT A INTERESTING E-MAIL TODAY -- C.S., 01:23:42 01/02/01 Tue

From some whore that said that she was gonna sue Buzz.

Why? Cuz his dick was so small that she didn't get any pleasure out of fucking him. So she thought she should get paid extra because of that. But he refused.

BWAAAAAAAAA.....I have always suspected that was the truth

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Replies:

[> Moronic women should never attempt comedy... the only funny thing about them is the fact that they're stupid. -- Comedic Historian, 09:05:55 01/02/01 Tue


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[> [> Re: Moronic women should never attempt comedy... the only funny thing about them is the fact that they're stupid. -- C.S., 09:11:59 01/02/01 Tue

Oh, you think I am kidding?

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[> [> [> You are correct, Comedic Historian. The problem with stupid women like C.S. is that they they're too stupid to realize how stupid they are. They THINK everyone is as moronic as they are, thus we are forced to bare witness to idiotic posts such as these. -- Dr. Von Stoogie, 10:02:44 01/02/01 Tue


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[> is this the BEST you can fucking do??? -- Sir BUZZ Lord Of Porn HGFC For MEN who enjoy being Bottom-Burped, 10:23:06 01/02/01 Tue

Come on what the hell was this?? Your attempt at Humor? Your attempt at trying to get people to think that YOUR E-Mail to me on Friday was as phony as this alleged attempt was? I mean what the hell I just don't fucking get it!!! Give us the angle here bitch!!!! I am sure that I am NOT alone on being totally fucking lost as to what this incoherent babbling was supposed to be about!!!!!!!!!!

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[> [> Re: is this the BEST you can fucking do??? -- Caroline, 10:27:29 01/02/01 Tue

It is all about the fucking truth

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[> [> [> Re: is this the BEST you can fucking do??? -- Caroline, 10:28:46 01/02/01 Tue

And you know damn well that the so called e-mail you got from me was phony too. I have not sent an e-mail to you saying that I got the hots for you. Never have and never will

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[> [> [> [> BITCH, You wouldn't know the truth it smacked you upside your ugly fucking face!!!!!!!!! -- EVERYBODY'S OPINION, 10:38:24 01/02/01 Tue


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[> [> [> [> [> Re: BITCH, You wouldn't know the truth it smacked you upside your ugly fucking face!!!!!!!!! -- Caroline, 10:43:55 01/02/01 Tue

I know more about the truth than buzz does

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[> [> [> [> [> [> Re: BITCH, You wouldn't know the truth it smacked you upside your ugly fucking face!!!!!!!!! -- Comedic Historian, 11:02:59 01/02/01 Tue

Its clear that you are incapable of knowing anything except how to have unprotected sex.

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[> [> [> [> [> [> [> Re: BITCH, You wouldn't know the truth it smacked you upside your ugly fucking face!!!!!!!!! -- Caroline, 11:06:48 01/02/01 Tue

Oh, you mean that birthcontrol pills are unprotected sex?

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[> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> Did those "Birth Control" pills come out of a dispencer with Micky Mouse's head on top and the word "PEZ" on the side? -- Dr. Von Stoogie, 11:45:18 01/02/01 Tue


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[> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> Re: Did those "Birth Control" pills come out of a dispencer with Micky Mouse's head on top and the word "PEZ" on the side? -- Caroline, 11:47:41 01/02/01 Tue

Holy shit. How did you know? No seriously. They did not. And besides , we were planning on having a kid within the next 2 years anyways.

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[> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> "We were having a baby anyway"...Yeah right... -- that's what they all say., 11:58:18 01/02/01 Tue


An eight month supply of Caroline's Birth Control Pills


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[> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> Re: "We were having a baby anyway"...Yeah right... -- Caroline, 12:04:18 01/02/01 Tue

You know what? I dont care at all about your oppinion. My baby is due in 8 days and we are both thrilled about it. And so are my bf's two sons

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More fun with actual posts -- DrT, 23:33:59 01/01/01 Mon

From President Linda's NFL breakdown;

"Hugh Green, the Ex-Jet played like an all-pro"


Who? Hugh who?

"Donovan McNabb showed nice zip on this short throws"


Makes no "cents"

"The Colt might have won if their normally reliable kicker kicks it throught the uprights with time winding down."


or

"They have this black kid at QB who very composed and has the tools. Ricky Williams is hurt but he being spelled rather nicely by this retread who was sitting home this autumn watching the games on tv."


Is English your first language?

The point here is not that you made mistakes. Everybody does. The point is what an ass you are constantly pointing out the mistakes of others while getting great joy from your delusional superiarity.

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Replies:

[> I think you meant to say "superiority" -- Editor, 07:12:44 01/02/01 Tue


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Fred's Site... -- ., 18:48:33 01/01/01 Mon

Doctor Ivan
*Giving The King Of Mars Some Respect*

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Replies:

[> Re: Fred's Site... -- the martians have landed, 19:15:31 01/01/01 Mon

I listened to both songs on the site and found them mediocre at best. Am I wrong?

Happy New Year to Doc and his disfunctional family on the THSMB!

im...not a music critic

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[> [> Re: Fred's Site...mediocre is being kind -- ej, 20:53:13 01/01/01 Mon

i'd probably still throw down the cover to see him if he was playing somewhere close just to check him out. you know some drunk will go up and yell "ba ba booey" at him.

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[> Those two songs are not the best choices. Other tracks rock better. -- Princess In Waiting, 10:52:53 01/02/01 Tue


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Happy New Year Everyone! Thought I'd start this year off on a positive note... -- ., 16:42:18 01/01/01 Mon

...so come on and rate my pic!



Click Here To Vote If I�m HOT or NOT!


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Replies:

[> One! -- Gary the Retard, 16:52:33 01/01/01 Mon


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[> baaaaahhh...what do they know! go and vote anyway! -- ., 18:16:06 01/01/01 Mon

AJ's pic..."has been deemed inapproriate.
The moderators have decided that this photo is inappropriate for public voting on amihotornot.
There are many reasons why your photo may have been rejected. Some of the most common reasons are:

Contact information, such as an URL or email address, written on the photo.
Nudity, pornography, or sexually suggestive poses. Amihotornot is strictly PG.
You are wearing lingerie, underwear, etc. See above.
You look like you are under 18.
Your photo is broken, too big (wider than 600 pixels), or takes too long to load.
Group photos. It is unclear which person we are supposed to vote for.
The photo appears to be an advertisement.
The photo appears to be that of a model or celebrity.
We apologize if your photo was wrongly rejected, and encourage you to submit another photo."

Damn...I can't even do this stupid contest thing right!

I will regroup and try this from another angle...hmmm.

AJ, down but not giving up.

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[> [> hmmm...been thinking..I'm so bad with these computers and the library's is a piece of crap, -- ., 18:20:10 01/01/01 Mon

can anyone help me out. Does anyone have a different photo of me. I really think I can get some high ratings in this contest. For a 'loon' I'm really not that bad lookin' ya know. Any help would be appreciated. Thanks,

AJ

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[> [> Re: baaaaahhh...what do they know! go and vote anyway! -- audrey, 21:04:07 01/01/01 Mon

its back up dear, i gave you a 10!

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A little New Year's Cheer for Princestica -- , 14:50:35 01/01/01 Mon

The HGFC cares about its Own

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Replies:

[> Right-click on the object, and then click 'play' -- Elroy, 15:06:54 01/01/01 Mon


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what the hell does this mean in the "Post a new message" box??? -- "vhtutil.c: 30: Found the allocated memory!", 14:33:36 01/01/01 Mon


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Replies:

[> ahhh..it's gone now, must have fixed it???????? -- ., 14:35:53 01/01/01 Mon


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[> [> That means the authorities have detected the Kiddie Porn you've been downloading from the USENET sites -- and are on their way to effect an arrest, 15:04:32 01/01/01 Mon


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A Public Response -- F * I * N * E (Look it up on the Pump album cover), 10:29:20 01/01/01 Mon

Well well well

What a unique way for me to start a new year - free as a bird. But you know what "they" say.........the third time's the charm. So who's next? Single, unhappily married, stuck in a dead relationship - you know me, always there to be a "friend". Now now, no need to start a stampede. There's plenty of me to go around.

Just one little thing I'd like to mention before I go: Don't ANY of you (and you know who you are!) EVER try to tell me again that I don't know what I'm talking about. I think the proof is pretty much there for all to see now, don't you?

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Replies:

[> A song for you; -- DrT, 12:17:41 01/01/01 Mon

Just what makes that little old ant
Think he can move that rubber tree plant
Everyone knows an ant can't
Move a rubber tree plant

Cause he's a fuckin' dope
He's a fuckin' dope
He's a stupid, dumb ass, half a retard, fuckin' dope

So any time your feelin' bad and your gettin' sad
Just go find that ant
Pick him up and rip his legs off
Pick him up and rip his legs off (oh yeah)
Pick him up and rip his fuckin' legs off!!!!

Trying is the first step towards failure.....Homer J Simpson

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[> Cryptic (<i>kryp-tick</i>) -- Webster, 14:20:41 01/01/01 Mon

^^^See above post by Aeroticess^^^

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[> [> what are you saying? -- ., 14:26:47 01/01/01 Mon


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[> First of all, I don't have no "Pump" album cover, and I'm thankful for that. -- ., 14:44:10 01/01/01 Mon

Secondly, you better get your ass back to the HGFC clubhouse, I hear that SBLoP is having a problem with the ciruitry in the hidden camera's in all the shower stalls.

Third, this is a new year and many cavities have yet to be searched. Keep an open hole or two and an open mind, you never know what's gonna fill the void.



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[> [> You know that the Peachster and I are always there for you -- Elroy, 15:20:57 01/01/01 Mon

But it's hard to give 'group hugs' from half a continent away. We love you, Sis! That you can take to the bank and cash in for gold!

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AKFC New Year's statement -- SR, Pres. AKFC for boys who aren't allow to blow on noise-makers nor wear pointy birthday hats., 10:17:07 01/01/01 Mon

Posters:
We at the AKFC want to extend a happy, healthy and prosperous new year to all those who have meet here on the venerable Doctor Ivan's THSMB.
Kudos and godspeed!

May your genitals find themselves engorged with blood.

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Replies:

[> Brief and to-the-point -- now that didn't hurt too much, did it?, 10:27:39 01/01/01 Mon

HGFC for blond Arian types

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enlargments -- Steve Strasburger, 09:19:28 01/01/01 Mon

i understand howard will pay for breast enlargments, if so can you give me the details?

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Replies:

[> Th real question, Steve -- is why would you want breast implants?, 09:46:06 01/01/01 Mon


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A Public Proclomation to Aerotica,wherever she may be.... -- ., 02:40:59 01/01/01 Mon

My dear, your thoughts and kind wishes on this new year are very much appreciated and your friendship means very much to me.

I am truly not worthy to receive such kindness from such a distinguished lady... yes, LADY... as you. I am more gratified than you can know that you have bestowed such favor upon a mortal male such as myself.

May this new year bring you all that your heart desires. I think it is the LEAST that you are due. Those here who know you, or have met you, all know that I'm right. And those are the only opinions that matter.

ARE YOU WITH ME?!!

F-Caroline!
F-Knabe!

The REAL Jocko!
The REAL Jocko!
The REAL Jocko!
The REAL Jocko!
AKFC for boys who know that lovers are few, but true friends are fewer.

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Replies:

[> Blow it out yer ass !!!!!! -- Lu Cifer, 05:47:06 01/01/01 Mon

Loser!!! Go try to con a new mexican because the old ones are on to you.

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[> Blow it out yer ass !!! - sequel -- Queen Mum, 06:57:32 01/01/01 Mon

Loser !!! If there ever was a dump-o-gram, this is it. Was the divorce finally getting too expensive or what ? After getting laid royally by our very own Princess here last summer, now you post this cowardly rubbish about 'friendship'. No more surprises anymore about our Princess's weepiness and long absences from this board. Heck, even Da Poof would have treated her better than you. ... Hey Poofy, this could be the solution to your problems and wean you away a bit from that Sick Puppy and the Bath House...BWAAAAAA.... Happy New Year to Everyone from the Royal Headquarters.

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[> The OFFICIAL Department Of Pornification Stance on this post -- Sir BUZZ Lord Of Porn, 21:40:47 01/01/01 Mon

It would appear that this was indeed a DUMP-O-GRAM intended for My partner form the Dept. Of Pornification. This kind of Kiss and Dump does NOT go un-noticed or with out due recourse.
However, let us examine some KEY points of evidence here, shall we?
#1 Time of post- 02:40:59 01/01/01 Mon-- Could be that this "Boy" got GOOD and fucked up, came home flicked on the ol' puter and felt guilty about not calling her to say HNY(Happy New Year).
OR
#2 Boy is indeed a dick and has NO sensitivity for the Holidays or delicate matters of the heart.
Jocko, Ol' Bean the ball is back in YOUR court, Defend yourself YOUNG MAN!!!!!!!

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VP Truth, that is a fucking coffee moment. -- ., 02:31:53 01/01/01 Mon

I can't tell for sure if that's a true story or not, but dammit...

I hope it is.

You want a hug, man? Christ but I hate new years. Here I am in the plains on New Mexoco, and no one fucking showed up.

The REAL Jocko!
The REAL Jocko!
The REAL Jocko!
The REAL Jocko!


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Stuck in E.R. -- Nurse Rican, if you will., 02:03:39 01/01/01 Mon

Friggg!!!!! Me arse is forced to work the un-desired New Years Eve shift tonight. Well me deciples, you gotta do what you gotta do for the AKFC. Mr. Wrigglesworth (age 87 and well hung!!) in room 1045 demands my attention. He has a serious bladder problem and me has to change his diapers often. He thinks I am the Ice Cream Man. Hey!! What the heck, he may put me in his will!!!You never know, right? Thats why I do what I do, so that one day I can get myself out of Spanish Harlem. BTW: All members required viewing: SHOWTIME: QUEER AS FOLK Saturdays 10:00PM ,yours truly hoping to get a cameo apearance. Walking on the wire!!!!!!

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LD's New Year's Party Highlights -- ., 01:56:05 01/01/01 Mon

Tonight was supposed to be a small get together at our house with 4 families and their kids. One guy brought 8 lobster tails and 4 filets. He cooked the food at our house and the lobster's were undercooked, the filets overdone. We agreed he would bring sushi next year.

At around 10pm some friend of my wife's and her fiance stroll in tracking in ton's of snow and salt, and 3 dudes from Sweden. The Swede's seemed to be into "Boogie Nights" which FX so generously re-ran this evening. My wife commented to our guests how I was way into Heather Graham as I nodded yes while sipping my 5th glass of vodka on the rocks.

Also watched Marilyn Manson on MTV with Rose McGowan as co-host and looking hotter than ever!

My 5 year old stayed up to ring in the new year while squirting 3 bottles of silly string all over our guests with a little help from dad. This was some serious fun!

Sipping some smooth Sambuca to keep the buzz alive...I can't think of a damn new year's resolution but I do like Dr. T's about appreciating the little things. Thanks to everyone at the THSMB for adding a little extra to the humdrum of the daily routine.

Lost Dog

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Happy New Year -- .., 01:28:59 01/01/01 Mon

I'm drunk. This started off to be the dullest New Year's ever. I was miserable. I went to my sister's house she had about 15 kids there. All the nieces and nephews. The was a little girl there about four years old. She has some kind of brain disorder. She has siezures. The last time I saw her, about a year ago she could barely walk. Tonight as I sat there drinking Sambuca Rosa and being generally pissed she crawled over to me and and used my arm as a brace while she danced. This little angel who was never suppose to walk was fucking dancing.

My resolution this year is to try to appreciate the little things. It sounds simple but its really isn't. We take so much for granted, and we miss so much.

Happy New Year

Dr. Truth proud member of the THSMB community

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Replies:

[> you've had too much to drink and now you're making me cry. -- LD, 01:44:05 01/01/01 Mon


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NFL playoff recap -- SR, Pres. AKFC for boys who pass out during rough sex, sans coitus., 23:42:09 12/31/00 Sun

Posters:
I thought it was me tellie's color that was off but it was the faded artificial turf playing tricks on me in that dump called the Vet. The players were also slipping on the white out-of-bounds stripes on either side of the field.
The old story that the Bucs can't win in cold weather is true. Keyshawn did jack squat and Marquez Green, the speed merchant WR didn't catch one freakin' pass the whole game. Hugh Green, the Ex-Jet played like an all-pro and Donovan McNabb showed nice zip on this short throws. Neither QB made this writer forget Jim Plunkett or Darryl Lamonica.
McNabb has some nice wheels. Shaun King was harrassed the whole game and didn't get his offense started at all. King might not have the arm for the pro game but the league is weak in the QB position right now.
Gus Ferrotte is a joke. Griese's injury and Tyrell Davis's umpteenth injury spelled doom for the Dever Broncos today.
Another 'winner' Ty Ditmer' the ex-Eagle, caught a helmet flush on the jaw and the coo-coo birds started to fly in circles around his helmet.
The turning point of the game was a miracle play in which a throw to the flat was juggled into a near interception and then re-juggled into the waiting hands of Shannon Sharpe who ran along the right sideline, evading an overweight defensive lineman and picking up a nice block upfield for the score. The play was good for 58 yards. Je. White also broke off a nice run from scrimmage for another TD.
Ravens have an awesome "D" led by number 52 Ja. White, arguably the best defensive player in the league. They also have Rod Woodson, the ex-Steeler all-pro on the squad.
In yesterday's action, the nice Jewish boy from Miami tried to give the game away but the Colts would have none of it. Then Fielder got hot and rallied the Fish by giving the ball off a record 40 times to Smith, their fullback. Apparently, the Colts have a problem stopping the run. The Colt might have won if their normally reliable kicker kicks it throught the uprights with time winding down. It was not meant to be so the Dolphins advance. Payton Manning, the prototypical NFL QB did dick the whole game. What a time to turn invisible.
The Saints Cinderella season continues for yet another game. They have this black kid at QB who very composed and has the tools. Ricky Williams is hurt but he being spelled rather nicely by this retread who was sitting home this autumn watching the games on tv.
Kurt Warner's concussion had an effect on his game and this is why they are now ex-champs. The positive in all this is that his ugly wife no longer graces the screen after a bomb is caught for a TD. Marshall Falk was handled rather nicely by the Saints 'D'.
This week's winners now test against the rested top-seeds in next week's action.

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I can't believe I almost forgot! -- Bringing out the logo one last time for this one!!!!!!!!!, 22:29:20 12/31/00 Sun



Happy 49th Birthday, Tom Hamilton



Hosted by www.Geocities.ws



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Replies:

[> I can't believe I almost forgot that I am almost as old as this asshole! -- Black Sheep, 01:11:49 01/01/01 Mon

Its hard to write a post with bitter fingers. I want to keep the wheels of steel underneath my itching heels. So save your strength and run the field. You play alone.

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[> [> "Someone Saved My Life Tonight" is Elton John, not Aerosmith -- Princess, 08:46:28 01/01/01 Mon


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Can you believe the fucking RAVENS! are in the playoffs???? -- Princess, 22:00:41 12/31/00 Sun

I hope Art Modell has a heart attack during the next game. Bastard.

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[> big blue in O-2 -- im..couldn't rhyme 0-1, 22:14:20 12/31/00 Sun


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[> /^A^\ did you see Ozzie Newsome with his head up Art Modell's arse? Just like the old days. -- SR, Pres. AKFC for boys who wept bitterly when the Browns deserted Cleveland crying: "Is nuthin' sacred?", 22:51:35 12/31/00 Sun


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VOTE NOW -- !!!LAMEST NEW YEARS CELEBRATION!!!, 20:45:39 12/31/00 Sun

im's contribution:

Take out Chinee, a six pack O'Bass Ale, a remote control and an alarm clock set for midnight.

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Replies:

[> Re: VOTE NOW -- ej, 20:56:27 12/31/00 Sun

amen brother

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[> Re: VOTE NOW -- DrT, 21:04:35 12/31/00 Sun

Okay, New years 1993. I was 2000 miles from home in Austin, TX. My wife and kid were sick in bed with the flu, but she very honorably told me to go out anyway. I was going bar hoping with a friend. About 30 minutes before he was suppose to pick me up I did two hits of X. His car broke down. He never made it. I sat home fried out of my mind, hanging in a walk-in linen closet I had turned into a make-shit recording studio. I sat in the little hot room with no windows and a bare 75 watt light bulb, drinking nothing but cheap, sweet Sisco wine and eating Prozac like candy (I thought it would help)for about a 30 hours before the combination of cheap wine, sweat, drugs, and no sleep caused me to break out in awful hives. I stumbled into the bathroom, put the Allman Brother's Decade of Hits tape on a player that automatically looped, and got into the shower where I woke up freezing my shriveled balls off about three hours later from my wife banging on the locked door. She figured there was something wrong the 4th time she heard Statesboro Blues. She didn't talk to me for almost week.
Ah misty water colored memories.

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[> [> Misty Water Colored Memories -- ej, 21:41:33 12/31/00 Sun

what a great quote-so hard to pound the actual moment into words-how do you explain to your kid how you woke up one day and turned the corner?....asking for future reference....

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[> Re: VOTE NOW -- Princess, 21:41:15 12/31/00 Sun

Pot roast for dinner, talking to iron mike on IM (at least last year I was talking to Elroy!), and going to bed early.

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[> This won't win any awards but it was pretty fuckin' lame -- , 21:49:26 12/31/00 Sun

Four years ago. I was dating one of the most fuckable women I'd ever had. We had chipped in our $250 share of rent on one of the most astonishing castles in Glenina IL, high on a hill with an outdoor deck & hot tub over looking a snow covered valley. We went in on this treasure with a couple I work with, (the female half of which I'd had the hots over for years), and a killer lesbian couple. Needless to say, there were great expectations.

The morning of New Years Eve my lady doesn't feel so good. By 8:00 that night she hits 104 degrees and is starting to go delirious. Off to the E.R. where midnight passed unnoticed as I sat in the hall outside a room where my girlfriend was on an IV and drugged out of consciousness.

She was fine by the next night. I heard tell the chateau was amazing...

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YOU KICKED MY DOG! --

Doctor Ivan, 17:01:16 12/31/00 Sun

CLICK HERE!

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Replies:

[> I see Elneck! -- im, 20:17:45 12/31/00 Sun


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