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There's a story that's told in the valleys And I'll tell it as best as I can; The story of one Will 'McGonagle' Morgan, And of his INCREDIBLE PLAN. It all started off on a cold winter's night - A night that was strangely so still - When the rugby Club's general committee 'SineD ied' their ticket Sec., Will. (Mind you, he was in the wrong. Ooh yes, we knew all along.) There was no point on petitions or pickets. He was caught with this woman at the back of the stand With the Club's allocation of tickets! See, what made it worst, she wasn't the first: Oh no, he'd been caught with Ben Walter's wife, Ethel. Mind you, we all knew her with her fox and her fur (She used to wear it on Sundays to Bethel). Anyway, Will was 'sine died' - he broke down and cried: I've never seen a man in such sorrow. 'Cos like Judas of old he'd sold more than gold. With the Scotland and Wales game tomorrow. Then he had this idea: he'd go in disguise - He had it all drawn up and planned. And he went to the game (to his family's shame) As one of the St Albans Band. Back in the the village they all got to know; "Make one for me!" they'd all say. They'd ask "Any chance for one against France?" And fair play like, what could he say? But the man's very able (I think he's in table), He was working all hours, fair play. He gave of his best; he was down to his vest., Making about fifty a day! But Will's getting on and his best days are gone, "Welais I Amser" he'd say. I said "Will, you're on the floor, man. You can't do no more": He said "Where there's a will, there's a way!" So he put an ad in the Guardian To employ a few men starting Monday. And he did, he started some men - I think about ten, On three shifts, and some working Sunday. They made about three or four hundred When the night shifts were set two till ten. The jigs were all changed, the tools rearranged, And they started on ambulance men! Then they ran out of buttons and bandage - And policemen were next on the plans. Whilst 'B' Shift made refs with dark glasses, Alsatians, white sticks and tin cans! Then production was brought to a standstill And the Union could quite understand When management tabled the motion: "Things are getting a bit out of hand". I'll never forget the day of the match, The likes of I'll ne'er see again. I can still see them all coming over the hill: Hundreds and thousands of men! The refs came in four double-deckers; It was going exactly to plan. And the St. Albans Band came in lorries And the police in a Griff Fender van! No I'll never forget that day of the match, The likes I'll ne'er see again, When Queen Street was full of alsatians And the pubs full of ambulance men! Will was in camel-hair coat (dressed up as a goat) Marching in front of the Band! It was then that the accident happened- The roads were all slippy and wet. He was knocked down by a man in a greengrocer's van And they took him to 'Davies the Vet'. Now 'Davies the Vet' is a bit short-sighted: He said "I'm afraid it's his head. But he wouldn't have lived longer, even if he'd be stronger: His eyes are too far apart!" The funeral was held on a Monday (The biggest I'd ever seen). The wreaths came in four double-deckers, And there was one from Prince Charles and the Queen. (Sorry, from the 'Prince of Wales' and the 'Queens'!) There were sprays from three thousand policemen, And one from the St. Albans Band. And the bearers were refs with alsatians, Dark glasses, white sticks and tin cans. We sang at the graveside the old funeral hymns, And we� all went to comfort his son. What made him sad, he said, was that Dad Had died not knowing we'd won! I couldn't sleep for most of that night, I kept thinking of what he had said: "Dad had died not knowing we'd won", So I dressed when I got out of bed. And I walked again to that hillside, To that last resting place on a hill. It was all quiet save when I leant over the grave And shouted "We hammered them Will!" And that story is told in the valleys; I've told it as best as I can. The legend of one William 'McGonagle' Morgan, And of his INCREDUBLE PLAN! |
