WORMS RUN TO DALLAS CITY FINALS

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All Worms Current and Retired:
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On Saturday June 3, 2000 the much maligned Tequila Worms rebounded from what for them was a poor, rain out marred 5-3 regular season to finish second in the Dallas City Tournament. The Worms defeated the Dallas Padres, the Indians, the Wild Bunch, and Southwest Cardiac to win the winner's bracket and enter the championship game against the survivor of the loser's bracket. Unfortunately for the Worms, Southwest Cardiac came back strong for the Championship rematch and swept the Worms in the finals to win the Championship.
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The Worms put one of their best, but oldest teams in several years on the field for the tourney. Only four of the fourteen Worm players participating in the tournament were under the age of 35. Starting the first game on the
mound was Bobby Cecil, the cleanup hitter, who moved from first base to take over pitching duties after longtime Worm ace Mike Mckee quit the team in disgust after last year's poor showing by the Worms in the city tournament. Catching the first game and much of the tournament for the Worms was Randy Cain, who took over for longtime Worm backstop Earl Jones, who was unavailable early but showed up later in the tourney for the Worms. The Worm infield was made up of veterans Bronco Rohr at short, Bubba Tipton at second and Jack Zimmerman at first and newcomer Greg Goebel at third. The Worms started it's regular outfield of Ken Washington, Larry Wortham, Jimmy Giffen and Terry Fabian. Rick Koosman served as EH and Mike Wortham and Tim Elder were on the bench to begin game one.
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The Worms began playoffs by kicking the seemingly hung over from tequila Padres' ass, 20-2. The game was over in 30 minutes. Every Worm that played, sub or not, got at least one hit.
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The Worms second game was against the Padres' amigos, the Indians. The Indians barely avoided forfieiting the game but illegally picked up a Padre and were allowed to start. The Worms, not wanting to be called "a bunch of lawyers" as was the case when Bobby "The Brain" Patton was protesting games, played the Tijuana Tribesman without complaining. The Worms steadily pulled ahead but blew an 8-3 lead when the Indians scored 9 runs in the bottom of the sixth to take a 12-8
lead. The Worms came storming back in the top of the seventh to score six runs, all with two outs, to win. With two runners on and two out and trailing 12-8, Koosman singled home a run. Cecil followed with a single to plate Bubba. Terry Fabian singled home Koosman to draw the Worms to within one, and Ken Washington blasted a double off the fence to score Bobby and tie the game. Jack Zimmerman singled home Terry to give the Worms the lead and Larry Billy singled home Ken for the final run. Stellar back to back defensive plays were turned in early in the game by Bubba, with a leaping
snare of a line drive to right, and Kenny with a catch running back to fence in left. Larry Wortham also threw out a loafing runner at second who tagged from first after a fly ball to deep center and trotted to second, thinking there would be no play. An interesting note for all you long time Worm fans is that the scorekeeper for the first two games was the confused looking old guy (and no, David, unfortuntately not the Sam Grand 3 guy) with black glasses who always squints his eyes but won't ever say anything.
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Kenny brought a grill and Worm fan Christina cooked burgers and dogs for everyone shortly after the second game ended at 10 a.m. In keeping with Worm custom, several cold ones were cracked open at this time.
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The Worms rolled on to the finals of the winner's bracket with a 20-10 run rule victory over the Wild Bunch at 1 p.m.. The Worms trailed early after the Bunch's cleanup hitting "Mini Mullet" hit a couple of homers, but then exposed the Mullet's defensive liabilities with several long balls to left center in a ten run fifth to put the game away. This
game was also highlighted by three double plays by the Worms. The same wild man hit into two, a 6-4-3 started by Bronco and a 5-4-3 started by Greg. Perhaps the best defensive play of the day was in the last inning, when the Bunch was trying to mount a comeback. With runners at first and second, the batter hit a sharp grounder to Jack at first base, who backhanded it and threw to Bronco at second for the force. Bronco held his throw to first when no one covered the bag (McKee says he would've been there) and then threw to third to catch the buzz headed, rotund base runner loafing to complete the DP. Another noteworthy play also occurred in the last inning when the Mini Mullet popped up to short right.
When Bubba, fading to right, and Terry, charging in from right, called for the ball at the same time, a brutal collision appeared imminent. Both players shied away at the last instant and avoided a collision, but the ball dropped in safely allowing the Mullet to make it to third. After he took a wide turn around the base, Bronco ripped a wild throw toward third, striking the Mullet in the foot and causing him to glare menacingly at the Worms. Nothing more became of this but the NWA rasslin' looking Wild Bunch actually appeared to be a bunch of guys who might be able to challenge the Worms at the bar, if not on the field. However, no beer bets were made (yet).
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The finals of the winners bracket pitted the Worms against Southwest Cardiac, who beat the Worms last year in the Garland Tournament playing as Dannon Water. The Worms trailed early but put together back to back eight run innings to advance to the Championship Game, 18-11. The Worms were given a two hour break before taking the field for the final. The Worms put this time to good use to open their coolers and get back after the beer. The Worms came to the park armed with several coolers which were often replenished during the day. The beer was provided courtesy of Mike Wortham who obtained 60 cases of beer from a client using it to pay off his legal fees.
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After losing to the Worms in the 3:00 game, Southwest Cardiac defeated Triangle Plastering at 5:00 to earn the rematch. Triangle Plastering, which competes with the Worms in the Tuesday night Fair Oaks league, finished 3rd in the
tournament. The Worms' came out flat in the next game for some unkown reason and lost, 16-1. The reason may have been age and alcohol consumption. There were also rumblings of marijuana usage. The Worms only had 3 hits and failed to make it through the batting order order twice. The loss to Southwest Cardiac and their Tim Mendolia look alike catcher set
up a one game winner take all for the Dallas City Championship.
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After trailing 9-0 early, the Worms chipped away at the Cards' lead. Heading into the 7th inning, the Worms were down 14-10, and put together another two out rally to take the lead. Bronco led off with a walk, then Kenny doubled. After Bobby grounded out to the pitcher and Terry fouled out, Jack singled home Bronco and Kenny. Larry singled and Greg Goebell doubled home a run to pull the Worms to within one run with runners at second and third. In the most critical at bat of his career; an at bat he dedictated to his
mentor with the Worms, Mike McKee, Jimmy Giffen lined a 3-2 pitch to right to give the Worms a 15-14 lead going to the bottom of the 7th. Southwest Cardiac then scored twice to win the game 16-15.
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The second place finish is the highest the Worms have ever finished in the Dallas City Playoffs, topping the previous best of 4th in 1995. The second place finish qualified the Worms for the State Tournament in Mesquite, Texas or Tyler, Texas; we aren't sure yet.
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The Worms set an all time team attendance record with 22 fans for the finals, surpassing the previous mark of 10 for the 1995 3rd place game. Most of this can be attributed to the fact that in 1995, there were only three second generation Worms, but there were 10 in attendance on this day. Also in attendance were three new Worm fans: The man called Gray,
Stephanie, and the Dawn of Destruction. The attendance could have cracked 24 but longtime Worm supporter Mike Roan deserted the Worms after drinking a ton of their beer to go to the Stars game with another longtime Worm supporter, Bronco, Sr. Magnum and his dog did not attend this tournament.
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Following the tournament, the Worms traveling party moved to Mike Wortham's house to watch the end of the Stars game. Mike had the bar well stocked with the remains of the 60 cases of beer. The party went on into the wee hours of Sunday morning. Entertainment was provided by birthday boy Scott Miller's impressions of Frank Sinatra, David Allen Coe, Mick Jagger and others, including a stellar shirtless imitation of Jim Morrison on L.A Woman. Hot tub activities were cut short by lightning, but the fun continued in the rain. The music of Texas favorites Jerry Jeff Walker, Coe, Kinky Friedman and Robert Keen and longtime faves Thin Lizzy, Ted Nugent and Kiss blared throughout the night. Retired Worm Greg "Smitty" Smith tried to enforce the Rule of the Worms that states "all women have to get naked and all men have to drink" but none of the women went for it since it wasn't in writing. Smitty was so overcome with the emotion of the evening that he laid a smashing head butt into a dresser on the back porch. Some thought he was faking, but the contact was legitimate. Jack seemed to be in trouble with Marianne, but came up with the line of the night as he pufffed another nail and downed another cold one: "I'm already in the doghouse, so what's the difference if I go home at midnight or 5am?" Terry came up with an interesting analogy of tatoos and thong panties. We think the point was
that tattoos should be in private places and be special for the guy that gets to see them - just like thong panties. We aren't real sure if that was his point or not. Terry entertained the crowd with his impersonation of WWF rasslin' star Val Venus. Terry strutted through the patio shirtless and with a towel wrapped around his waste. Then shocked everybody with his Val-ism "Heeelllllllooooooo Laaaaddddiiieeessss" as he shed the towel.
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The Worms voted unanimously to let Mckee, who was invited to the party but did not appear, keep the second place trophy for a week a la the Stanley Cup. Besides the trophy, the team received $150 and each player received a handsome t-shirt.
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Dee Carter, who retired from the Worms this spring because he "had too much to do" (presumably SHS and UT sporting events) was sorely missed at the party. Each and every Worm in attendance that didn't have a designated driver could have used Dee and all Worms are looking forward to seeing dee at the ECW rasslin' matches at the Bronco Bowl in July.
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