16 September 2005: I believe many of my most important life-moments have occurred when I've been in books. Others have occurred when I've been in musical compositions, paintings, movies or plays, but those seem to have been fewer than the others. It's quite possible that my best moments have occurred when I've been in books. Of course, none of them would have been anything of value if not for the lived life I brought to them. For me, it would seem that "real life" is just something I can get moments some book will be able to build into good moments. Anyway, that's why books are coming up in my mathemaku such as the one I just made the rough draft of with Nero Wolfe's orchids in it.
I don't merge with movies and plays the way I do with books. As for paintings and musical compositions, I've experienced wonderfully pleasurable moments in them, but they're purely sensual, so are different in kind from the anthroceptual (people-related) ones I experience in books. They make me feel like a spectator; I participate in book I most enjoy, though.
I just realized I'm probably wrong about my best moments--they are not the ones I've experienced in books, but the ones I've experienced as creative artist or thinker. Still, the ones I've experienced in books, are the ones I remember best.
I certainly understand what this confession of mine indicates about my competence at "real life." I acknowledge that I'm apparently incapable of directly achieving worthwhile moments except as an artist or thinker or passive reader of one kind or another. I rather doubt very many others do better at "real life" than I have, though. I'm also pretty sure I have higher standards for rating moments than others do.
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