I like both poems, although the earlier one is pretty pedestrian.

Originally, Poemns included what may be my favorite of the poems on snow I've done, but it was part of a page that the printer screwed up elsewhere and that I tore out of all the copies of the published edition--and now I can't find a copy of it. It went something like:

sky's piecemeal

  white development down

    buildings' dark sides into

                  tr,a:f:f;i;c.

The device of punctuation marks' action inside a word as a metaphor was direct from Cummings. I've since looked for poems of his where he uses the same slow-down that I do above but not found any. I was sure there was one I took the idea directly from, but--who knows--maybe I misremembered one of his into something slightly new. No matter: I still think my poem a pretty nice one.

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