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30 November 2004. I wrote the following last week while under the influence of Ativan (although I didn't feel under anything's influence):
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The rain was quoting something in Hebrew through a deck containing nothing but queens of clubs when Poem woke up, diesal-eyed. |
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I wrote the first five lines all at once, then added the last line a few mnutes later. I had been thinking about critics who don't quote examples of passages they berate or praise, then realized something inanimate quoting something might make a good image for a poem. I now perceive that a quotation of something non-verbal might be effective, too. Anyway, I'm posting the poem because I'm not sure I'll have time today to write a better entry, and the fragment was near at hand.
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28 June 2005, someone posted a comment about the above: "Your critics are ballshit, what you say has no sence. You must revise the poem another time." He posted the comment from the next entry, which confused me, but when I clicked back to this entry, I saw that he must have posted it in response to it. I had written, "I had been thinking about critics who don't quote examples of passages they berate or praise, then realized something inanimate quoting might something might make a good image for a poem." The extra "might," here boldfaced, was the problem. Typical computer-typing error. I removed it. Dunno about revising the poem. I like it. I 'spose I could take it somewhere further, though.
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