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Daily Notes on Poetry & Related Matters

26 November 2004. Today, I was going to give a lesson in pluraphrasing to get my entry quickly out of the way and shoot yet another comeback at Dan Schneider (from whom I've not heard since posting my recent entries about him, although I've e.mailed him two or three times to let him know I was responding to his Internet essay on me). A Pluraphrase (plural paraphrase) is what I call a full close reading of a poem. It consists of a detailed paraphrase which includes any connotative meanings I consider would be clear to most readers plus a list of all devices used and description of how they operate in the poem, an identification of the form used and of everything I can think of that the poem may allude to, particularly other poems, and a detailed evaluation of the poem. I was going to administer the pluraphrase to a poem of my own, my recentest Poem poem. Then I got the bright idea of putting my second alter ego, Criticism, into the poem. The first result of this follows:


Criticism Overt

Murked in his t oo offennedness, inw
are only, if that, Poem
lingled lamefully intrue underestness.

Criticism watched from afar, nervous, for
this was his first time as more than an
offstage guide.  He'd been charged 
to pluraphrase the scene for anyone
besides Poem who stumbled into it.
He was nervous because he felt intrusive.  
He also feared he'd interrupt and/or
over-analyze the text into something
that would scare everyone away from it.
Not entirely a rational fear since
the poem existed in its uncritiqued state,
and always would.

He worried that he'd sound stupid, too.  He
had his orders, though, so went ahead, beginning with
an analysis of the poem's first three lines.
Their foreburden was no problem for him: a simple
declaration that Poem was depressed--
in his "off-eness," as he too often was.
He was aware of his interior only, if that.
He was lingering singly ("lingling"--which,
Criticism thought, suggested "lingo," or
being in words only, although that was a
stretch), and his lingling was bringing him to
"underestness," or a state of maximal "under-ness"--
something lower than "rest."  Criticism wasn'
t sure what the break in "inware" was doing other
than fracturing the text in parallel with
Poem's fragmentedness.  Ditto the "t oo."  The
use of "intrue" for "into" didn't make much sense 
to him, either, except as a dissonance intended
to brighten into happier relief the lines
few concords, such as the alliterative l's in
the final line, and the two long o's above it.
The use of the noun, "murk," as a verb seemed
effective to Criticism, if perhaps over-typical
of the poem's author.

Tiring already, he parenthesized only through 
the rest of the poem.

The craternal (cavern-like, eternal) just-audible billow of 
the near-sightedness of the rocCKks
(the "rocCKks"--their nature emphasized by 
the addition of the "CK" are personified as having
a kind of sight, and therefore consciousness; their
"near-sightedness" is metaphorically given materiality,
and likened to a sail billowing out in the wind--
to put Poem--in effect--inside rocks, to 
increase the underestness of his mood) above him
had no e ff ect (another isolated doubling of letters,
to perhaps suggest "off" but also to continue
the dissonancing of the scene away 
from expectations, as well as the sense of 
fragmentedness) on him, nor
did the fiersh ("fierce" plus "fresh") odors 
of the pre-skyed grass, weeds and flowers 
("pre-skyed because still 
underground) more than blink a mome
(to possibly hint of "mote," as well as 
do the other things the poem's fragmented words
are doing) nt (another negative--"not"--
to add to the darness of the scene)
or two into his nea rr owing,
(The last word, split in three, is 
a misspelling of "narrowing" to suggest
constrictedness, or being "all-near," and
"owing," with the growly two r's carrying
on the design whimsy of isolated doubled 
letters.)  colorle ss ingly.  (Another set of 
isolated doubled letters in a coinage
apparently intended to suggest the 
oppositing of the participle, "coloring."
So far, the text is simply an 
envirative of depression.)

Alorst something unslacked a small crease in his inwa
(A strange variation on "at last" begins the above line;
something has loosened a small crease, or made an opening, in 
Poem's inwardness.)
reness.  It had a howl's bulk at
(It sounded like a howl, with Ginsberg's poem of that
name clearly alluded to.) 
first but soon got close en
ough for him to see it was too high-literate
and constrained along its spine
to be a howl or even a yaw
p, frictifyingly rough-edged though it was in spots.    
(But it wasn't a howl or even a "yawp,"
like Whitman's poetry, in Whitman's view,
although it had some rough edges that 
provided friction, fertility. . . .)

He muttered.  It was .cte ,ecnelis htiw pu thgil ot 
syawla gnilggurts eciov.  It was he.  
(He, from the first Poem poem, which ends
with a mirror image of the backwards-written
passage above.  Poem has met his double.)
He muttered much more angrily when he 
noticed the absence of genitals.
(A typical sardonic punchline to end the poem:
Poem's double, and thus he, is sexless.
Criticism forgot to give his final
verdict on the poem, caught up in
questions about the value of his own
contribution to it, and whether
a third party would do to 
his comments what he'd just 
done to the poem.) 
This poem is definitely a first draft. I consider it a genuine experiment--a first-time attempt to interweave a poem and a critique of the poem to make a self-explaining poem in just this way that I know of. I feel it's a method that someone will surely be able to use in poems to good effect. I don't think I was able just now to use it effectively, but think that once I have a better grasp of it, I will be able to.





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