18 November 2004. Now for my turn at Schneider. Below is the poem of his he thought vastly superior to my poem-in-progress, "Criticism's Origin" (see previous entry for details):

Beauty Bare 


What Turing knew is that 1 or 2 were more
than mere numbers, beauties, or markers of place,
laying powerless and prone in their own space,
nonexistent till pondered by computers,
organic or not, for the subtle motions
of emotions belonging to them, in shifts
of state. Anyone can relate to the drift
of numerals, from the infinite oceans
of conscious thoughts, where no regions of the heart
can distinguish dyspeptic pepperonis
from insights, that change the worlds we think and see,
or that they create. What Turing knew is that
science is sense made reason, that 1 or 2
are tools, and you are the memories of you.
 

I wonder about the grammar of the "were" in the first line. Is Turing concerned with what one or two was in the past or with what the two are now? Why "one or two," which requires a singular verb rather than "one and two?" The grammar of "laying" for "lying" bothers me, too, but I suppose "laying" is right for some, so should be allowed. Actually, it ought to be dropped for superfluousness since a number can't be prone and not also lying down.

The second of the three sentences that make up Schneider's poem gives me more trouble than the first. Here it is again: "Anyone can relate to the drift/ of numerals, from the infinite oceans/ of conscious thoughts, where no regions of the heart/ can distinguish dyspeptic pepperonis/ from insights, that change the worlds we think and see,/ or that they create." For instance, if "no regions of the heart can distinguish dyspeptic pepperonis from insights" in "the infinite oceans of conscious thoughts," where can such regions of the heart distinguish pepperonis (of any kind) from insights? Why would any region of the heart be interested in doing that? Or does the "where" refer back to the "drift of numerals?" Which wouldn't alter the problem of what regions of the heart would distinguish pepperonis from insights anywhere. Also, is it "insights" that change worlds or "the drift of numerals?" Or "numerals?" I suppose the referent is "numerals," but don't see the point of the confused expression, if it's intentional.

Why can "anyone relate" to a collection of numerals? What are these "infinite oceans of conscious thoughts?" Why are they "infinite?" I'm not picturing the scene. Many minds full of thoughts that numerals are drifting from, and hearts are at work in trying to distinguish dyspeptic pepperonis from insights and failing? Or not trying because the task is hopeless? Would they be able to distinguish undyspeptic pepperonis from insights where they are?

My guess, from the last sentence in Schneider's text, is that he is saying anyone can relate to, or understand numerals in some ordinary way, but only Turing could truly appreciate them. In any case, Turing knew that "science is sense made reason." How is science, which seems to me simply applied reason, that? More important, what does that have to with everything else in the poem, which is about numerals? And why does Turing understand that 1 and 2 are tools when he began the poem knowing them to be more than markers of place, or kinds of tools? And what is the apparent non sequitur about "you" doing for the poem?

In short, I can't connect to "Beauty Bare." I need it to tell a story, or provide a scene, or make some sort of verbal design (although it does have a pleasant flow), and I can't find any of these things in it. I'm quite aware that this may be my fault. However, I see nothing in the poem to indicate that it's doing something too unfamiliar to me for me to grasp.

Later note: it is now 6 AM the morning after I posted the above entry. The brain tumor or whatever it was that was causing my dizziness has backed off. I lay flat on my back in my bed a little while ago, and nothing happened. Then when I did the exercises on the floor that had quickly made the world whirl the last three times I tried it, everything stayed normal. Very weird. I now think it must have been due to sinus congestion, for I've been taking anti-allergy pills since last night--zyrtec and an anti-histamine. Who knows if I'm really over it, but for now I can relax.

Final Note: this morning, on my way to the second of the two mathemaku presentations I did for children's writing classes this week, I mentioned my spells to my friend, Carol Mahler, who teaches the classes and was giving me a ride. I joked that my presentation on Monday was what had done me in. Then I mentioned another theory of mine--that the treatment for termites I'd had done on Monday may have caused my problem. Carol immediately agreed, pointing out that the poison used against the termites was at ground level, and I had lain down. Of course! It all made sense. Not only had I lain down, but I had lain right next to my two bathrooms, which were the only part of the inside of my house that had been treated, most of the poison being injected around the house outside. So, I'm now pretty sure that I was not having, or trying to have, a stroke, or anything serious.

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