AICW Survival of the Fittest The Metrodome-Minneapolis, MN Sunday, April 16th, 1998 (The scene opens to a green meadow where sheep are grazing. The sun is setting in the background. Suddenly, many of the sheep begin running as the pounding sound of a heartbeat can be heard. The camera jerks around rapidly, then focuses on one slow-moving sheep, apparently an older, sicker one. The camera zooms rapidly in on the sheep, finally focusing on the sheep's eye and freezing in a black-and-white still.) Dan Chan (voice-over): It was Charles Darwin who proclaimed that "only the strong survive." Out in the wilderness, animals struggle for dominance. (Black and white shots of wolves, lions, weasels, and bobcats fighting each other fade in and out of the screen as Dan speaks.) Dan (V/O): In the AICW, the pecking order is no different... (Black and white action shots of Byron Brady, the Saint, the Knick Man, Devon Burke, and the Demonweb fade in and out of the screen.) Dan (V/O): ...and tonight... (Video clip of Mr. Y.) Mr. Y: Yeah! Dan (V/O): ...there can only be one survivor. (Images of AICW superstars participating in the show scroll across the screen.) Dan (V/O): Tonight, here in Minneapolis, it will be man against man, team against team, good against evil--and only the strong will survive! Tonight, it is SURVIVAL OF THE FITTEST!!! (A primal growl is heard as animal claws tear at the screen, revealing the Survival of the Fittest logo. A wide shot of the arena reveals a packed house of rabid fans, all waving signs and AICW merchandise. The shot switches to a close-up of the broadcast position, where Dan "The Man" Chan and "The Mack" James Mack are sitting. James Mack poses and postures for the camera. Behind them is an obnoxious fan waving a sign that says "Bring Back the Crow.") Fan: YEAAAAH!!! YEAAAAAAH, BABYYYY!!! I'M ON TEEE-VEEEEEEEE!!! YEAAAAAH!!! YEAAAAH!!!!!! Dan: Welcome, everyone, to the AICW's Survival of the Fittest! I am Dan "The Man" Chan, and with me is none other than "The Mack" himself, James Mack! James: Yo, w'sup! That's right baby, it's Survival of the Fittest kid! Yeah! (James "shadow-boxes" as Dan continues to speak.) Dan: Tonight, we will see the Firm and the Enterprise settle their differences! (James continues to shadow-box.) Dan: "The Golden Boy" Johnny Smith will lead the Golden Cavalry against his arch-rival, The Stone, and his two mystery partners! (James's headset falls off; he puts it back on and resumes shadow-boxing.) Dan: Of course, we have AICW Champion the Saint, "Hard Line" Byron Brady, the Knick Man, and Inoki Cup winner "Big D" Devon Burke banding together to try to end the menace of the Demonweb once and for all! (James is still shadow-boxing.) Dan: And when it's all said and done, whoever's left standing will be put into a 15-foot-high, enclosed steel cage where only ONE MAN will walk out victorious! (James claps his hands.) James: Yeah, kid! That's right! Yeah! (punches Dan in the shoulder) Pow! Dan: Hey, knock it off! James: Yo, don't be messin'! I put the smack down on yo' ass! Dan: Anyway, let's take you down to Reba Kola, who's standing by w... James: YEAH! My man Westsiiiiiide! (Reba Kola is standing in the ring waiting with the microphone. The crowd shows their respect for her by cheering to their hearts content as she speaks.) Reba Kola: Hello, Minneapolis! ( The crowd screams.) Reba Kola: We have a special treat for you guys right now. Coming to the ring, a team that will be fighting a little later on in the evening, they will be against the PPD, Reign of Terror, and the Road Killers, here are The Family!, the GWO!, and the captains, Westside Walavan and @$$ Kicker Andrew!!! ( The crowd is on their feet, cheering. They wait for the Family and the GWO but they don't show. Then, as the crowd starts to boo, Westside Walavan and @$$ Kicker Andrew step out and the fans resume cheering. They walk into the ring and pose for the camera. They finish and then walk up to Reba.) Dan: Oh oh! Reba could be in trouble now. Remember, when Westside was with Black Power, he was dissed out by Reba. Let's see how she changes for this changed man. James: Yo, she be changin' for me! Dan: Show some respect! Anyway, let's get to Reba! Reba Kola: First off, hi guys. A$$ Kicker Andrew: Hey Reba, remember me? Westside Walavan: Hi Reba, Reba Kola: Oh, you are a changed man huh? You are starting to look a lot more appealing. Westside Walavan: Thank you Reba. Reba Kola: Before we start this interview, where are your teammates for this huge match? Westside Walavan: They are still back in the locker room. A$$ Kicker Andrew: Yeh, they are getting in a few warm up stretches. They wanted us to go on ahead. Reba Kola: Oh. For a minute there, I thought there was a problem in your team. Seriously now, there have been many skeptics that have said that your team does not stand a chance against the veteran team of PPD, the Reign of Terror, and the Road Killers. How do you feel about that? Westside Walavan: Is that the skeptics talking or you? A$$ Kicker Andrew: Forget it Westside. Hey Reba, didn't the skeptics also say that we weren't going to amount to anything when we entered? Westside Walavan: Oh yeh... Look at us. Andrew is #9 for the International Title after just one match. And I'm #4 for the T.V Title. And together as a team, we are #4 for the World Tag Team Championship after just one match. Damien and Johnny know what we are all about. And pretty soon, the whole wrestling federation is going to know after I have the T.V Title, Andrew has the International Championship and we are both tag team champions. Reba Kola: Good point. Are you guys confident that you will walk out of that ring tonight with a victory over a very difficult team to beat, the PPD? Andrew: Let me ask you something Reba... Do you hate Samantha? Reba Kola: You know I hate that skank! Westside Walavan: That settles it! We are going to beat the PPD and their team for Reba over here! This match is dedicated to you Reba. ( The fans cheer.) Reba Kola: Thank you guys! You better win the Title Shot in May as well! Hey wait, it looks like you have a visitor... ( A fairly large man walks into the ring and stands there.) Dan: Oh oh, is this the new member of the FIRM? Wait, he looks very familiar! It's... James: Yo, it's SUPAFLYYYY!! Yeah, kid! Dan: He's picking up the microphone and speaking! Man: You guys think you are all that! Just wait and see at the match. You're gonna see that you guys are nothing but a bunch of wimps when PPD get you in their finisher! Dan: They chase at him and he runs out of the ring! He gets over the gate and walks out through the stands! I have a feeling he will be back! Reba Kola: Whoa...Whoa...Whoa! You guys just can't leave me here all alone... Well, I guess they just did! Dan: Westside and A$$ Kicker running after that mystery man. James: Yo, those fools better watch out! The Firm or the Enterprise might be waiting! Dan: We're about ready for our first match, and we've got the team of JUICY'S FRUITIES LOCKING UP WITH POWER & GLORY!!! JUICY'S FRUITIES of course captained by JUICY is comprised of ADRIAN POLONSKY, GOAT NINJA, and ASANTI. And they'll be taking on the team of POWER & GLORY comprised of ZEEK MONKEY, AUSTIN STERLING, J.T. SAVAGE, and is captained by that powerhouse newcomer...OSMOSIS!!!!!!! Let's head down to ringside for this great matchup!!! Andy: This contest is scheduled for one fall. Inroducing first, accompanied to the ring by the gWo...here is the team of JUICY'S FRUITIES...captained by JUICY FRUIT.....and his team members are....ADRIAN POLONSKY.....GOAT NINJA.....and ASANTI!!!!! and their opponents....here is the team of POWER & GLORY!!!!! Captained by OSMOSIS....along with ZEEK MONKEY.....AUSTIN STERLING.....and J.T. SAVAGE!!!!! Dan: We're ready for action and it's gonna be Juicy Fruit starting off with J.T. Savage. Now they're gonna lock up and LOOK AT JUICY FRUIT FONDLING J.T. SAVAGE!!! SAVAGE IS OUTRAGED!! AND HE JUST LEFT THE RING!!!! The Mack: I don't blame him...I wouldn't mess with that fruitcake neither! Andy: J.T. Savage has been eliminated!!! Dan: Juicy Fruit certainly a very bizarre individual indeed and Savage has just been counted out because of his homophobia...but LOOK AT ZEEK MONKEY...He's going right to work pounding Fruit's face into the turnbuckle! And now an irish whip to the ropes and a big dropkick right to the kisser...and Juicy Fruit quicky makes a tag into Adrian Polonsky. The Mack: I like Polonsky...he's cooler than the other side of a pillow!!! Dan: Monkey now with a rake to the eyes, and now whips him to ropes and a flying cross body block by Polonsky....he hooks the leg!!ONE....TWO..... KICKOUT BY ZEEK MONKEY!!! Who immediately retaliets again with a thumb to the eye. Now an armbar onto Polonsky, and he makes the tag to Austin Sterling! The Mack: Yo, Polonsky be gettin' right to work, kid! He just lay Sterling's ass out with a football tackle!!! Dan: Polonsky now, perching him in the corner and he's putting the boots to him. Now he just grabs him and throws him across the ring! And what the hell is Juicy Fruit doing...he's strutting around the ring, and now he's walking over to Osmosis. Osmosis sees him,a nd is being cautious. JUICY FRUIT JUST PINCHED OSMOSIS' DERRIERE AND OSMOSIS NOW CHASING FRUIT AROUND THE RING!!! HE GOT HIM...AND A CHOKESLAM RIGHT TO THE CONCRETE FLOOR AND THE CROWD IS LOVING IT!!! The Mack: Now that's what I call gay bashing! Dan: Back inside, Polonsky sets Sterling up and A BEAUTIFUL NECKBREAKER DROP!!! Polonsky now climbing the top ropes and WHAM!!! BEAUTIFULLY EXECUTED HEADBUTT FROM THE TOP ROPES AND LISTEN TO THE CROWD!!! The Mack: It's Australian Spike time baby! Dan: AND THERE IT IS!! AUSTIN STERLING HAS NOWHERE TO GO AND HE'S BEEN ELIMINATED!! Andy: Ladies and gentlemen, Austin Sterling has been eliminated! The Mack: Yo, it's down to a four on two! Look at this! Zeek Monkey back in, he just firing away on Polonsky! Yo, a irish whip and A FOOTBALL TACKLE BY POLONSKY!!!! Shee-oot! He just lay Zeek Monkey out flat! Here come Goat Ninja and he going to work on Zeek Monkey! Dan: These two are no strangers and we all know this, but the ref is dismissing him...Polonsky tags in Asanti...but Asanti isn't paying attention!! Asanti was mouthing off and didn't know he was tagged!! Polonsky tagged Asanti because he wasn't showing support and I don't blame him. Zeek Monkey now, sets him up and.....HURACANRANA!!! That brings Asanti into the ring. Now he picks him up and.......BOOM!!! THE INSTRUMENT OF DESTRUCTION BY ZEEK MONKEY!!! Referee Kaplan counts.... ONE....... TWO............. THREE!!!! THAT's IT!!! Asanti is furious!!! Andy: Asanti has been eliminated! Dan: Now it's a three on two advantage for Juicy's Fruities, but can they put away Zeek Monkey AND Osmosis? Monkey now makes the tag to Osmosis and he grabs Juicy Fruit and throws him into the ring...Juicy with feminine like slaps to Osmosis who just hurls him across the ring...but JUICY FRUIT WITH A LOW BLOW SENDS OSMOSIS TO THE GROUND, AND THE REF ISN'T GONNA STAND FOR THAT!!! Andy: Juicy Fruit has been disqualified! Dan: Osmosis is clutching his "area" but look at Juicy Fruit he's prancing around the ring like nothing and ZEEK MONKEY JUST NAILED HIM WITH A SPINNING HEEL KICK!!! The Mack: Now he running back to the dressing room crying! Yo, he buggin'! That kid has problems!! Dan: Back in comes Goat Ninja who throws Zeek Monkey to the outside and they're getting it on. Goat Ninja whips him into the guardrail and Zeek Monkey is hurting! Ninja now, off the apron!! BUT NOBODY'S HOME!!! AND NOW!!! Zeek Monkey slaps the figure four on Goat Ninja right on the outside and they've been out there too long I'm afraid! Andy: Zeek Monkey and Goat Ninja have been counted out!! Dan: It's down to Polonsky and Osmosis. Now Osmosis quickly going to work on Polonsky with a chop to thr ibs, now an irish whip and he nails him with a clothesline, but look whose coming down the aisle? The Mack: Yo, it look like some guy in a gray suit over a purple shirt... Dan: It's Mr. Roland, coming to the aid of Adrian Polonsky! Now Osmosis picks him up and a SHOULDERBREAKER!!! Polonsky is in a heap of trouble!!! Now Osmosis picks him up and throws him to the corner but Polonsky jumps up and over the back of Osmosis and a rollup by Polonsky.... ONE...... TWO.......... THREE!!! YES!!! POLONSKY WINS YES....NO!!!! NO!!!! The ref saying only a two count...so close! I thought he had him for sure! Osmosis now with A MONSTER CLOTHESLINE AND HE's back in control. The Mack: Osmosis is gettin jiggy wit it! Dan: Now Osmosis setting him up AND LOOK AT THE STRENGTH...He's got Polonsky up in the air and is doing that patented suspended suplex of his and WHAM!!! DOWN TO THE CANVAS!!!! A cover....a count!!! ONE....... TWO......... A foot on the rope by Adrian Polonsky! The crowd is beginning to cheer for him... Polonsky now on his feet! Osmosis takes a swing BLOCKED!!! Polonsky with a right hand! Osmosis swings again POLONSKY WITH ANOTHER BLOCK AND A RIGHT HAND!! NOW POLONSKY....BOOT TO THE MIDSECTION, and now...a BACKSLIDE!!! HE'S GOT THE ARMS HOOKED!!! one........ two........... A kickout by Osmosis, and Osmosis is in trouble! Polonsky sets him up and a gutwrench suplex. Now he's climbing to the top! James: Here we go! He's gonna come off the top rope like my man Supaflaaaaayyyyyyyyyy!!! Dan: He's going for that lethal headbutt, but look out from behind.....IT'S ASANTI!!!! ASANTI PUSHES HIM and OUCH!!! A FELL HARD TO THE CANVAS!!! OSMOSIS NOW!!!! Dan: HE sets him up and WHAM!!! THE SUPLEX-TO-POWERBOMB COMBO!!!! HE hooks the leg and ONE..... TWO......... THREE.............That's it OSMOSIS WILL ADVANCE TO THE GRAND FINALE MATCH OF SURVIVAL!!! The Mack: Asanti getting a little revenge here! Dan: Yes, but I am afraid he'll have hell to pay with Adrian Polonsky!