(Scene opens in what seems to be an old basketball court in Canada. The basketball rings are broken and the backboards have grafiti on it. It is early in the morning and there is a lot of fog. On the other side of the court is the siluette of a man shooting hoops. The camera gets closer and it shows the man to be the mystery man of the AICW George Muldoon. George looks different to the person in the past interviews he's done. Instead of wearing a suit, he is wearing tracksuit pants and although it is obviously very cold, he is wearing a tank top with a AICW logo on the front. On his bald shaved head is his trademark bandana. He keeps shooting for a while, then he notices the camera) George:- (Takes a few quick breaths. As he does, mist comes out of his mouth) Hey there. Nice day isnt it? Cameraman:- Uh..Yeah... George:- (Points at the camera and winks) How you all feeling this morning? Well...(Points to the basketball court that is falling apart) It's hard to believe that I spent 19 years of my life here. This is where it all began...Toronto Canada. Now before you all say anything, I just wanna say that a lot of you think I'm Italian. Well...Surprise...I'm NOT Italian. Not that I have anything against Italians, but a lot of you seem to think that I'm Italian. Well...I'm from good ol' Canada, and I must say that I am proud of where I came from. As for my friend Dima...I don't know what you have against Italians, but on Monday Night, I made my first interview, but as I was backstage, I saw what you did to Vic. That wasn't very nice. But that's between you and Vic. But onto another story now. I have my eye on a competitor, and I would like to know if he would like to accept my challenge. He is the American Patriot. Like me, he is new to the AICW, but not new to (e)wrestling. Well Mr. Patriot, when you see this interview, I would like a response. Now don't get me wrong. I have nothing against you, but I just think that a man of your talent in the WIC, which I believe your record was 6-0 when you made your interview. Well...I am a former champion, but I have been out of action for a while. I think that if we fought, we'd give the fans their money's worth! Whattaya say? As for Mr. Garibaldi, I await your response. But AICW...Remember one thing. George Muldoon is now in da house...And I'm here to stay! (With that, Muldoon points at the camera and winks. Scene fades as he continues to shoot hoops) ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Dan: George Muldoon looking to make a name for himself in the AICW! James: Well yo kid, I already got a name baby! I'm THE MACK! Dan: Next up, more of THE FIRM!!! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ (The scene opens to the famous, Scores... 'Gentlemen's Club' in New York City. The camera pans through showing topless dancers working their magic, showing off their silicon shaped assets. One of the girls climbs down from a cage she's been dancing in to address the camera. Some fans may recognize her as Playboy's Miss April 1997, Kelly Monaco.) Monaco: Hey guys. Are you here for the Bates bachelor party? Well, he's not here yet, but the table's filling up fast. They're right over there... (She points, the camera follows. We see drunken businessmen drooling over some of the hottest saline injected females alive. Eventually, we reach a table with some familiar faces. The ladies are Playboy bunnies and porn stars, the men are wrestlers. Among the crowd we see Alex Raptor, tonight wearing a robe with a red ascot. He is seen waving a pipe around. On the top of his head is a hat made of a newspaper. Near him is The Don, James Garibaldi. He is dressed down for the first time in his life, wearing blue jeans and a "Who's The Boss?" T-shirt. He is really enjoying himself, as would any man with a centerfold on his knee. Vic Garibaldi can also be seen, occasionally. When his escort isn't blocking the view of the camera, we see a very content Vic in his New York Yankees jersey. Some other wrestlers and personalities from the AICW are around also, including Daron Foley, Cesar Colon and Dan "The Man" Chan.) Vic: Danny-boy! Where's Dimestore Rimsky-Korsokoff or whoever? Dan Chan: Couldn't tell ya, Vic. Maybe this place just ain't his speed. Alex Raptor: (In Russian accent) In Russia, the women are hairier than the men and all weigh 350 pounds! (The men who have been drinking begin laughing, as does Vic, who sips his club soda.) Vic: Get a load of this guy, Chan, I love this guy. (We see Alex Raptor sipping his martini casually, sharing small talk with some models and occasionally blowing bubles from his pipe.) Dan Chan: Gimme the scoop Vic. Who's the boss? Vic: Uh... Springsteen, right? Dan Chan: Vic... Vic; You know Dan, I don't know either. I never met him, but Raptor says he's a bitch to work for, so... Dan Chan: Are you trying to make him a a full fledged member? Vic: That wouldn't be so bad. He's a hell of a fighter and all that. It's a contractual thing now... (There is a rise in the chatter in the place as we see the man of the hour, Oswald Bates enter the area. He is dressed to the nines. Vic gets up and hugs him, as does The Don. Alex sits in his chair and does a Beavis-like headbanging maneuver.) Alex Raptor: (Chanting) Ozzy! Ozzy! Ozzy! Ozzy! (He laughs and blows some more bubbles.) Oswald Bates: You guys all having fun? (Women blow on noisemakers and Alex Raptor blows some more bubbles before accidentally inhaling and getting a mouthful of soap.) Alex Raptor: Gah! (Coughs) This place is f--king great, Oz. Hey, I heard the Enterprise is doing this too. Oswald Bates: Who's geting married there? Alex Raptor: Well, they're not allowed to marry, but C-Lish and The Jolly Ga Giant are... well... Vic Garibaldi: Ok, everyone sit down, I want to say a couple of things. First, doesn't this place rock? Ok ok. At this time, we're going to take our friend Oz here, and put him in a room where he will experince his last night of bachelorhood in peace. Ladies? Prepare the nudie booth!! (All the men laugh and cheer. The wrestlers throw Ozzy over their shoulders and march away from the camera chanting his name.) -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Dan: The Firm rocking and rolling before the big wedding of "The Convict" Oswald Bates! James: Yo man, I wanted to see the naked shorties Yo!!! Dan: Well now without further adu, we present to you THE WEDDING OF OZZY BATES AND CYN GARIBALDI!!!!!!!! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- James Jordan Lee: Dearly beloved...we are gathered here today, to join in matrimony, Oswald Mario Bates and Cynthia Rosa Garibaldi. At the request of the soon to be bride and groom, the typical wedding "mumbo jumbo" has been cut short. Now, Ozzy Bates, please repeat after me...I, Oswald Bates... Ozzy: I Oswald Bates... James Jordan Lee: Vow to love cherish and honor Ozzy: Vow to love cherish and honor Lee: Cynthia Garibaldi... Ozzy: Cynthia Garibaldi... Lee: In sickness and in health, for poor or for rich, for better or for worse... Ozzy: Yeah...what you just said... Lee: Until death do us part... Ozzy: 'Til I croak. Lee: Now Ozzy Bates, do you take Cynthia Garibaldi to be your lawfully wedded wife? (VO Dan): Why didn't he ask Cyn to repeat the ritual vows? (VO James): Yo man, I don't know fool! Yo, kid, is that even her... Ozzy: Ain't you gonna ask her... Lee: Please Mr. Bates, do you Oswald Bates take Cyn Garibaldi to be your lawfully wedded wife? Ozzy: I does... Lee: And do you Cyn Garibaldi, take Ozzy Bates to be your lawfully wedded husband? Cyn: I do... Lee: Then by the powers invested in me....I now pronounce Lee: YOUR ASSES PROPERTY OF THE ENTERPRISE!!!! Dan: What's this, that's not Cyndi....that lady just maced Ozzy Bates, and here comes CEO, Walcott, Del Rio, Studwell, and Howard they've got The Firm outnumbered!!! They're stomping away at Bates, Garibaldi, and Raptor. Executive now setting up "The Don" and A MONSTER CHOKESLAM!!!! Walcott is putting the Shakedown on Vic Garibaldi...his own finisher, Studwell and Lee kicking away at Bates and look at Howard and Del Rio! Howard has Raptor perched on top of the bar table and WHAM!!! THE STOCK MARKET CRASH!! Del Rio just nailed him with a leg drop while he was still in mid air!! The Enterprise now leaving the bar laughing, and Studwell and CEO have James Jordan Lee on their shoulder, Walcott just gave him a t-shirt!! Cesar: What does it say? Dan: Pres....President, Oh no, God no...it says President of the Enterprise...James Jordan Lee has stabbed the AICW in the back! The Firm...now, look... look at Bates, he's been humiliated, they'll get their revenge tonight! Well it's time!!! Time for SURVIVAL OF THE FITTEST!!! James: Yo man, I be SURVIVING!!! And I'm THE FITTEST!!!! Dan: Order now, for only 14...I mean $19.95!!!