Dan: What a great opening matchup as Triple Threat comes away victorious! I understand that we have a pre-recorded interview with Reba Kola and Zeek Monkey! Roll the tape! (The scene opens in the parking lot of the stadium. It looks to be about a half hour before the PPV. Reba Kola is standing in the parking lot waiting for the wrestlers to arrive.) Reba Kola: Here I am, waiting for the wrestlers of the AICW to show up. Every match on this card is very important, and I would really like to know what these guys are thinking. (At this point, an olive green 4-Runner pulls up to a space. Zeek Monkey gets out of the driver side. He is wearing his Zeek Monkey t-shirt and jean shorts with tan work boots. He goes around to the back and gets a gym bag containing his wrestling gear. Reba approaches him cautiously) Reba: Uhh... Zeek? Umm... could you give us your thoughts on your match this evening? (Without saying anything, Zeek pulls a buck knife out of his trunk and makes a small slash on his forearm. It starts bleeding.) Zeek: You see my blood, Legion and Kane... Now, I want to see yours... (Zeek then closes his trunk and leaves. Reba has a look of horror and shock on her face.) Reba: He cut himself... I can't believe that someone would willingly do that to themselves... This guy really is insane... Well, I guess we know how Zeek is thinking... back to you, Dan... (scene fades) Dan: Disturbing footage from Zeek Monkey! Next up is our Three Way Match for the AICW Television Title! Now originally, "The Convict" Oswald Bates was suppose to defend the title against the top two contenders. However, after Bates forfited the title, former AICW Commissioner joined The Demonweb and awarded the title to Demonwebber Legion! She then decided that Billy Kane and Zeek Monkey will be the two participants knowing that Kane and Monkey hate each other! The question remains, will Kane and Monkey be focused on winning the belt or destroying each other? James: Yo kid, Kane is gonna WHIP all their behinds DOGGIE STYLE BABY!!! Billy Kane is DA MAN! No diggidy! No DOUBT! Dima: Your english is pathetic, little American from hood! James: Shut up, you commie speakin, jive fool TURKEY!!!!! Dan: Alright guys, cut that out! Let's take a look at just HOW Legion won the AICW Television Title... -------------------- [begin] AICW Monday Night War Monday, May 18th, 1998 Fleet Center, Boston, Massachusetts Andy: The winner of this contest, and NEW AICW TELEVISION CHAMPION...GINO VALENTINI!!! Dan: Gino the new champ, but Bates just nailed him from behind with the belt!! Valentini won't get the chance to enjoy his victory, as Ozzy and now George Muldoon laying into him! AICW Commissioner Argie Otero, the latest member of the Demonweb, is making her way down the aisle to a torrent of boos! I don't think anyone in the AICW is more hated than her! Dima: They love DIMA! Dan: Argie grabbing the microphone as she steps into the cage! Argie Otero: OK SHUT UP!! If you fans are gonna boo me, I'm gonna start charging a thousand bucks a pop for nose-bleed seats!! Now listen up, and I'm talking to YOU THREE PATHETIC WOPS!!! Ain't no title gonna change hands without MY consent, so hand it over before I put you on the street like the homeless bums you are! Bates, if you ever try to pull a stunt like that again, I won't merely fine you...I'LL CUT OFF YOUR WHOLE DAMN PAYCHECK, HA HA HA HA!!!! Valentini, YOU are NOT the new AICW Television Champion. Since I am the Commissioner, and my power over-rides everyone else, I am hereby declaring... LEGION the NEW AICW TELEVISION CHAMPION!!!! HA HA HA HA HA!!! And he will defend this belt at Steel City Meltdown '98 in a triangle match with none other than Zeek Monkey and Billy Kane!! Dan: This is ubsurd! Zeek and Kane hate each other and will most likely leave the door open for an easy Legion win! We've got to take a break, but we'll be back! [end] -------------------- Dan: And that's the story! Legion is the Television Champion! But will he be the TV champ after tonight? Let's go to the tale of the tape. (The scene shows the images of Legion, Zeek Monkey and Billy Kane lined up together. Next to the images, we can see the statistics for these superstars.) Dan: And there it is! All three superstars in this matchup! Legion most certainly has the strength advantage in this matchup, weighing in at 260 pounds while Monkey at 245 and Kane at 240 are much smaller. They are all about the same height, with Kane having an inch height advantage at 6'3. Monkey and Legion are both 6'2. Legion is probably the most accomplished technical wrestler of the bunch. Kane relies on a mixture of high flying, quickness, and karate manuevers. Monkey uses his quickness, as well as his power, and he is not afraid to brawl with the best of them! This is most certainly going to be a great contest! Dima: It will not be great. Russian Roulette is not there! James: Yo kid, I'm gonna be looking at that broad Nikki's butt baby! Dan: Let's go to Andy! (DING DING DING) Andy Burton: The following contest is scheduled for one fall and it is a THREE WAY BRAWL FOR THE AICW TELEVISION CHAMPIONSHIP!!!!!!! (a loud roar of cheers and applause goes over the crowd) The rules for this match are as follows. Three men will participate. Two will wrestle at a time. In order for a wrestler to get in, he must be tagged in by one of the other participants. The FIRST wrestler to score a win via pinfall or submission becomes the NEW AICW Television Champion! And now, here are the participants! First.... ("Macabre's Tavern" The Church plays loudly throughout the stadium Dan: Hey wait a minute! That's OZZY'S music! He's NOT scheduled to wrestle tonight! Ozzy Bates making his way towards the ring to a mixed reaction from the crowd! Dima: This italian dog does not belong here! He should be removed! James: Why don't you go remove him yo, since you got all dat mouth! Dan: Ozzy climbing into the ring and he's taking the microphone from Andy! Ozzy: You see, not only am I a talented wrestler! I am a talented ring announcer as well! (looks at the cards) I don't need these! (Ozzy rips the cards up and drops them in the center of the ring) This next match is for the AICW Jobber Title! Introducing first, here is JOBBER 1!!!!!! Dan: Oh give me a break! Dan: Here comes Billy Kane ladies and gentlemen! This man has got to be one of the most arrogant men in this sport today! James: Yo man, what you talkin bout? You just mad cause my man Billy be bagging mad shorties and you don't be getting no action DAN DA MAN CHAN! Dima: In russia the women kill each other just for one night with "The Russian Powerhouse" James: N&$^@ you aint have p@*$^ since p@*$^ had you! Dan: There's no need for that type of language here! Billy Kane confidently rolling into the ring, smiling all the way! He knows this is his big moment and he has a chance of a lifetime at capturing the AICW Television Championship! And Kane is looking ready for this one! Ozzy: Next up, JOBBER 2!!!!!! ("Sober", by TOOL plays across the loudspeaker) Dan: Here comes Zeek Monkey!!!!! The crowd is going wild cheering Monkey and his new manager Nikki Electra on! And Zeek Monkey looking around, surprised at such an ovation from the crowd! Yeah, they're cheering you on big guy! Dima: This Zeek Monkey is puny and pathetic! Any man that needs a woman is pathetic! James: Yo man, you talk too much! SHUT UP! Dan: Settle down you two! Monkey and Nikki climbing into the ring and MONKEY GOES AFTER KANE!!! And Kane quickly rolling under the ropes as Monkey standing on the apron looking at this capacity crowd! James: Yo man, Nikki got a slammin body baby! Yo kid, I could bag dat son! Dima: What is this "bag dat?" James: Shut up money! Dan: Would you guys stop that? Ozzy: And finally, here is the best Jobber of all time. The AICW Jobber Champion....Legion, the Jobber!!!! ("Breath" by Prodigy plays loudly throughout the loudspeaker) Dan: There's the music of The Demonweb and here comes Legion! Legion being accompanied by his manager Christina O, as well as the FORMER AICW Commissioner, Argie Otero! The Television Title is around his waist and he looks intense! James: Legion is madd ill kid! He gonna put da smack down on somebody tonight! Dima: Yes. He put this "smack down" on you! Dan: Referee Peter Kaplan calling the action for this match as Ozzy exits the ring with a big smile on his face. I don't think any of the partipants in this contest appreciated Ozzy's announcing skills. And Legion immediately stepping out! He obviously wants to let Monkey and Kane destory each other! And Eddie Turner handing Kane his quarterstaff and HE TRIPS MONKEY! Kane taking the quarterstaff and slaming it into Monkey! And referee Peter Kaplan admonishing Kane, but he can't disqualify him because the bell hasn't sounded yet. Kaplan signaling to the time keeper and this match has begun. Kane tossing the staff back to Turner and now he has the advantage. Kane stomping away on the fallen Monkey in De Niro like fashion! He brings Monkey to his feet. Irish whip to the ropes, Kane to the other side, and MONKEY DUCKS!!!! Kane missing the spinning heel kick...here comes Monkey and BOO-YA!!! BIG CLOTHESLINE by Monkey rocks Kane with authority! James: Damn son! He almost smoked dat fool baby! Dima: Heh! I've seen better clotheslines performed by old ladies in Moscow! This "Monkey" is puny! He does not stand a chance! James: Yo Dima, is it true that Russians have puny.... Dima: SHUT UP!!! That is a LIE spread by these CAPITALIST SPIES! There is NO TRUTH to that whatsoever! Dan: Guys, the match please! Monkey in control as he hammers away on Kane with a series of rights and lefts! Kane doesn't want to brawl with Monkey, because he doesn't stand a chance against that kind of firepower! Irish whip to the ropes and AW NO! Kane, a very smart wrestler, grabbing on to the ropes, and Monkey just a little bit too anxious, missing the dropkick! Dima: You Americans have no patience! This is why we Russians are far superior to you! James: Yo man Russia is wack! Stalin is wack! Yo man, I go up into Russia with my whole kliq baby! We take over that place baby! We rename Moscow to Mo-Cow!!! No diggidy!!!! No doubt!!! Dan: Kane trying to tag Legion, but Legion jumps down off the apron! Legion wanting no part of the ring action thus far! Kane bringing Monkey back to his feet! Whip to the ropes by Kane! Here comes Monkey and WOW!!!! Nice superkick to the head of Monkey!!! Zeek Monkey is down and Kane going for the cover here........one.........two.........thre...NO! Can't quite get em! James: You see baby! I told you Billy Kane is da man!!! He be pimpin Zeek like I'm bout to pimp Nikki over there! Dima: What is this "pimp?" James: Don't worry bout it yo! Dan: Whatever! Kane bringing Monkey back to his feet and A KICK TO THE THROAT AREA! Monkey clutching his throat in pain! And here comes Kane and RUNNING FOREARM SMASH!!! And Monkey goes flying over the top ropes! And HERE COMES KANE!!!!!! MY GOODNESS!!!!!!!!!! SPRINGBOARD PLANCHA!!!!!!!! Incredible high risk manuever by Billy Kane, and Kane looking very good tonight! Dima: This Britian fly like American Pigeon! James: Yo man, you SMELL like a pigeon yo! Dan: Kane to his feet as referee Peter Kaplan making the count. Remember, if this match results in a countout, Legion will retain the Television Title! Kane rolling Monkey back in and he goes for another cover.........one.......two........Monkey gets the shoulder up! James: Yo man, they got madd shorties out here! Nikki! Christina! Argie! And they all out here to see James Mack baby! Dima: No one wants to see puny American like James! They all want to see the great body of DIMA! Dan: Oh please! The BOTH of you! Kane going for the tag and LEGION JUMPS OFF THE APRON AGAIN! Kane mouthing off to Legion and OH BOY.... (The crowd anxiously stands to their feet as Sensuous Samantha makes her way down the aisle. She is wearing a tee shirt with a picture of Billy Kane on the front and is holding in her right hand, a red rose.) Dan: Here comes SENSUOUS SAMANTHA! Sensuous Samantha is making her way to ringside! And she has a Billy Kane tee shirt on! Oh boy! This should be pretty interesting indeed! Billy Kane's eyes opening wide as he sees Samantha making her way down the aisle and she smiles at him! And Billy Kane smiles back as he is very happy to see her! But wait! Zeek Monkey getting to his feet! Billy Kane not paying any attention to the match! Monkey from behind and BOO-YA!!! Running elbow to the back of the head of Kane and Kane is down! Zeek refers to that as The Zeek Missile! Zeek climbing up to the second turnbuckle. Zeek measuring up Kane and he is waiting for him. Kane trying to get to his feet. Monkey waiting for Kane to get up. Kane getting up.....Zeek off the top ropes and BOO-YA!!!! FLYING BULLDOG! Kane is hurt and Monkey with the cover..........ONE.........TWO........ NO! Kane kicking out! Monkey with a great move, but that's not enough to get him! Dima: That is because this "Monkey" has strength of fly! However, DIMA has the strength of a BEAR! James: What? You drink skank ho beer? I knew you was a herb yo! Dan: Come on guys! Kane is down and Samantha shouting encouraging words to Billy Kane! Monkey bringing Kane to his feet. Picks him up and BRINGS HIM DOWN HARD WITH A T-BONE SUPLEX!!!! Brutal move by Monkey as he goes over to tag in Legion and LEGION JUMPS DOWN AGAIN! This is getting redicilous! Wait a minute! Referee Peter Kaplan stopping the match! He's calling ring announcer Andy Burton over and whispering something in his ear. Andy Burton with the mic and lets listen in!