Dan: Fans, Mr. Y hasn't been seen in the building at all tonight, and we've just found out why! It seems that Mr. Y's "vehicle" was found illegally parked! It was towed away and taken to the impound yard, and AICW officials are on their way right now to meet Mr. Y there so they can bring him back to the arena! Dan: Ladies and gentlemen, we're about to get underway with the tag team championship match! Andy: The following contest, scheduled for one fall, is for the AICW World Tag Team Championship! (crowd pops) Introducing first, the challengers: From the Demonweb, weighing a combined weight of 490 pounds, "Sadistic" Steve Dunne, Danny "The Masochist" Moore--the Pain Connection! Dan: Danny Moore looking a bit more...subdued, shall we say... Dima: That is because he has probably had time to injure himself since the first match! Dan: Christina O is looking rather confident here at ringside, as well! Andy: And their opponents, accompanied to the ring by Sensuous Samantha, from Palm Beach, Florida, at a combined weight of 525 pounds, they are the AICW World Tag Team Champions, Lance and Max Studd--the Perfectly Perfect Duo!!! Dan: The PPD coming into this one with a decided advantage over Moore and Dunne--that first match against Gangstas and Prankstas took a lot out of the Pain Connection! Dima: Of course, as you have said, the advantage belongs to this "Perfect Duo"! The Pain Connection has wrestled a grueling match already, and this will be their second match of the night! These American twins have done nothing but sit on their American rear ends all night! Dan: Okay, this match is about to get started! Danny Moore is sitting this one out as Sadistic Steve starts it out with...I believe that's Max Studd in there right now. Dima: How can you tell them apart? They look much alike, as twins! Dan: Steve and Max locking up, but Steve drives a knee into the midsection of Max Studd! Now he shoves him into the corner, and an Irish whip into the opposite post! Dunne follows up by ramming the shoulder into Max's abdomen! Now a buzzsaw CHOP! Crowd: WOOOO!!! Dan: That was painful! That sound just reverberated throughout the arena! Steve whips Max into the ropes, and a NICE snap suplex takes him down! The Pain Connection have taken an early advantage! Steve puts the boots to Max, but Max rolls over and tags out to Lance! Lance is met with a razor-edged chop to the chest! Crowd: WOOOO!!! Dan: And Steve nails a few stiff right hands to the jaw of Lance Studd! Now a knee to the gut, and a gutwrench suplex right into the center of the ring! A cover! 1...only a one-count on that one! Lance back to his feet, but Steve hits a HARD chop that sends Lance careening back down to the canvas! Look at Lance's chest, it's beet-red! Dima: It is RED like the RUSSIAN flag! (begins speaking Russian; we can tell he is gushing with Russian pride) Dan: Steve drops an elbow onto the fallen form of Lance, and now he picks him up by the hair, and a twist of the arm...now he's lacing into him again with those buzzsaw chops of his! Crowd: WOOOO!!! WOOOO!!! Dan: An Irish whip by Steve Dunne, but Lance reverses it and...SPINEBUSTER! Lance drags Dunne over to his corner, and a tag to Max! Lance holds Dunne's legs while Max drops a leg across the sternum! Max raises Dunne up to his feet, and now he sets him up! Is he going for a suplex? No, it's a brainbuster by Studd! Max makes a cover, but he only gets a two! Steve Dunne back to his feet, but Max with a boot to the midsection and a DDT takes him down! Non-chalant cover by the tag champ! 1...2..no, he's not gonna get a win that easily! Studd pulls Dunne back up to his feet, but Dunne moves in and catches him with a belly-to-belly suplex out of nowhere! What a maneuver! Now he's reaching for a tag, and here comes Danny Moore! Max goes straight after "The Masochist," but Moore catches him with a clothesline! Moore pulls him back up, and now he's just raking Max's face across the top rope! Now he's delivering a series of punches to the gut of Max Studd! He's just pounding on him! Dima: He has him, as you Americans say--"on the ropes"! Quite literally! Dan: Moore slams Max's face into the corner! Referee Peter Kaplan backs Moore off, but Dunne takes the opportunity to choke Max Studd out! Kaplan turns around, but Dunne releases the hold! Dima: This Pain Connection, they must watch themselves! They cannot outsmart a Russian referee! Dan: Moore rakes Max Studd's eyes, and now a falling armbar takes him down! Moore slaps on a camel clutch now! Moore is just pulling back on Max Studd's chin! Danny Moore is really applying the pressure! Dima: Pressure? Ha! What do you Americans know about pressure? Dan: Moore now leaps up and comes down on top of Max Studd's back! He's working on that lower back! Now Moore does it again! He's really putting the hurt on him! Moore hops into the air again, but...OHHH!!! He went to the well once too often on that one! Max turned over and got the knees up! Danny Moore just...IMPALED himself! Dima: Because he is STUPID American! Dan: Max is crawling back over to his corner! Can he make the tag? He's almost there...but Danny Moore's got Max's foot! Danny Moore is still writhing in pain, but he's holding on to Max Studd's foot! Max is inches away from his twin brother's hand! But Danny Moore is holding on! Now he's flailing around, trying to drag Max over to his corner! He's holding on to the ropes for leverage! Now he's made the tag, and here comes Steve Dunne! He's putting the boots to Max Studd! Now he bends him up and drives a knee into the back! And again! And again! Now he slaps a nerve hold on the neck of Max Studd! Dima: That is very painful maneuver! Applying pressure to that nerve cluster in the neck induces excruciating pain! Excruciating pain indeed! Dan: He's just digging those fingers into the trapezius of Max Studd, and Max Studd is in trouble! Look at Samantha pounding on the apron! The titles are in jeopardy, and she knows it! Wait a minute, what's this? There's someone coming down the aisle! He's wearing some kind of uniform and he's carrying...a gift basket--? Dima: It is a present for Dima from one of my many female admirers! Dan: Well, it's a gift for somebody, that much is certain! The basket seems to have a large bouquet of flowers and a box of chocolates, among other things...there appears to be a card, but I can't quite make it out from this camera angle... Dima: I can see it perfectly! You Americans have poor eyesight! It says, "To Dima, the Russian Powerhouse!" Dan: Could it be for Christina O.? No, he's walking over to the other side of the ring...and the deliveryman just handed the gift basket to SENSUOUS SAMANTHA! Look at the shock on Christina O.'s face! And...wait a minute, look at Danny Moore! He just caught sight of this scene! It looks like his eyes are about to bug out of his head! He's flushed dark red! Danny Moore: I told him AFTER the show!!! Dan: Did you hear that? Moore looking around frantically as Dunne takes notice! He releases the nerve hold on Max, and he's trying to calm his partn..waitaminnit, Moore just jumped into the ring and crossed over, and now a SUICIDE DIVE through the ropes and onto the deliveryman!!! He's just tearing into him! Listen to those primal growls coming from Danny Moore! Dima: Just like all you Americans, he is an ANIMAL! Dan: Moore is just ripping the deliveryman apart! Samantha is still in shock over the whole situation, and Lance and Max are staring in confusion at all the chaos! Whoa, but Steve Dunne takes advantage of the situation, and hits Max with a boot to the midsection and a DDT! He makes a cover! 1...2...Max kicks out! Danny Moore is coming to his senses on the outside! He looks down at the battered deliveryman, over at his partner in the ring, over at the still-shocked Christina...and now at Samantha! What's he gonna do? He just turned and ran back to the dressing room! Back to the action, Max is back on his feet and looking to make a tag! Dunne and Max trading blows, Max throws a kick but Dunne catches his leg! BOO-YA! Max flips up and nails him with an enziguiri! Max makes a tag over to Lance, and now the fresh man hits the ring! He flies over the top with a clothesline onto Dunne! Max is showing some concern over Samantha and the gift basket she got... Dima: American terrorists have put a bomb in the basket! Dan: Lance with a pinpoint standing dropkick right to the jaw of the Sadistic one! Now he's got him up and...fisherman's buster on Steve Dunne! Now he gets him up again, and an Irish whip followed by a spinebuster! Now he's giving the signal! Max is going up top, and Lance is setting Steve Dunne up! Max comes off the top and PERFECTLY PERFECT EXECUTION! BOO-YA! 1...2...3! It's over! Andy: The winners of this contest, and still World Tag Team Champions, the Perfectly Perfect Duo! Dan: Well, the PPD have won this one and they will retain their titles! Lance and Max are curious as to the contents of the basket and the card! Samantha is holding on to that card, though...she's not letting them see what's written on it! Dima: It is a lurid sexual note! Dan: Will you stop it! There you see Christina O. in the ring, helping Dunne up. Dunne is furious! Christina doesn't look too happy, herself! Dunne is storming backstage with Christina O. close behind! I think Danny Moore's in for a long night! Dima: Danny Moore is a masochist, he will probably enjoy it! Dan: A few very interesting developments coming out of this matchup! We'll just have to sit back and watch things unfold! Right now, we've got six-man action, coming up next! Ramon De La Cerveza, our referee for this next match, is in the ring, and Andy Burton is standing by to introduce the participants!