Dan: What a great show we are having so far. Coming up next, we have a tape of a press conference that the AICW held last night in Atlanta. Let's listen in! (The scene shows a typical press conference setting with a stage with lots of microphones and lots of important people standing behind the stage. In the audience, there are hundreds of reporters taking notes. The podium shows AICW commishner Argie Otero standing up. She has a microphone in her hand and she begins to speak.) Argie Otero: Okie-Doki! Now during the past few weeks, the AICW has been announcing the signing of many major stars! We signed Lord Awesome and "The Franchise" Andru Edwards and we resigned Money and Power and the first ever AICW champion, Chandler Stone. Today, the AICW is proud to announce that we have signed yet another major player in the wrestling industry. For 8 months this man has wrestled in various federations and has made an impact wherever he has went. He has been in a total of four federations and he already has 3 world title reigns, 3 television title reigns, and 1 supreme title reign. Ladies and Gentlemen, The One, The Only, THE KNICK MAN! (The Knick Man makes his way from behind a curtian. He is dressed in a beautiful, black 3 piece suit. On the back of the suit jacket are the words "The Knick Man" embetted in full diamonds. Many flashes of cameras are seen as The Knick Man approaches the podium. He shakes the hand of Argie Otero and takes the microphone.) Knick Man: Thank you Argie! Before we begin with your questions, I just want to say that it is a honor, a privilage, and a pleasure to be able to work with the AICW. I have been involved in some high quality federations. But the AICW is by far the greatest federation that I have ever seen and I'm sure that the AICW and The Knick Man will have a successful business relationship. Let's start with your questions! Reporter 1: Knick Man, in all of your other federations, you have played the roll as one of the most hated men in the league. What kind of role will you play here in the AICW! Knick Man: Good question! In the AICW, there seems to be a lack of role models in this league! Everyone wants to be the bad guy, the villian! I respect guys like Hard Line Byron Brady, Daron Foley, The Extreme Beings, and just recently Kyle Bane! It's much harder to be the rolemodel! To be the fan favorite! In the AICW, when I step into that ring, my sole purpose is to see to it that the fans are entertained to the fullest like only The Knick Man can do! Reporter 2: Are there any particular wrestlers that you would like to step into the ring with? Knick Man: I'd love to step into the ring with anybody in this league! To be in the AICW, you have to be the cream of the crop! They don't let just any ham & egger into this federation. You have to be special, unique, and you have to have the talent! Therefore, I look forward to stepping into the ring with everyone that is a part of this federation. And I also look forward to pinning everyone's shoulders to the mat, making everyone submit and strapping that AICW World Heavyweight Title around my waist! Like Foley said, I too won't try and fight the big boys at the beginning. All my accomplishments in other places mean absolutely nothing in the AICW. I plan on starting from the bottom and working my way up to the top like any other rookie. It will take a while, but when you are blessed with my natural talent and my athletic ability, sooner or later, I have no choice but to succeed! Reporter 3: What is the deal with your alleged relationship with Marv Albert? Knick Man: (laughs) I knew that was coming! All I have to say about that one is consider the source where it's coming from! You got a 11 year old, trapped in a 22 year old body making allegations about The Knick Man! I mean, come on! Look at me! I am a very handsome man! There are many beautiful women in this federation and in the world at large that would love to take a Knick Man Championship Ride, if you know what I mean! What in the world would I find attractive about Marv Albert? But Chandler, since you can make all of these allegations, how about at the next Monday Night War, you come out like a man and confront me MAN TO MAN! You got all the mouth! Let's see you back it up! Reporter 4: What is your goal in the AICW? Knick Man: My goal like everyone else is to become the AICW World Heavyweight Champion. If I have to go through each and every athlete in here to do it, then that's what I'm going to have to do! I won 10 NBA Championship! I won titles in every single federation that I have been in! The AICW will be no different! I am the Greatest Basketball Player, The Greatest Wrestler, and The Greatest Man on the face of the earth! And you better believe that sooner or later, The Knick Man will be the AICW World Champion! Thank you for your questions and I hope you have a great day! (The Knick Man walks towards the back as all of the reporters take more pictures and try and ask more questions as the scene fades to black) Dan: What an announcement!!! The Knick Man has been officially signed in the AICW! Dima: He will fall to Russian Roulette just like everybody else! Dan: Let's go to Andy for this next match! Andy: The following tag team contest is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, representing the Enterprise, at a total combined weight of 531 pounds, here are "Ravishing" Ray Richards and "The Ultimate Male" Chris Del Rio! Dan: The Enterprise looking for a win here tonight over a very disunited Firm... Dima: The Firm are falling apart at the seams! They are like Communist Russia under that lily-livered Yeltsin! Andy: And their opponents, representing the Firm, at a combined weight of 541 pounds, Gino "Knuckles" Valentini and "The Convict" Oswald Bates!!! Dan: Well, there's Ozzy and Cyn...but...where's Gino--? Dima: Ha! So much for this "Firm!" Dan: Oswald Bates and Cyn don't seem too pleased. They could very well be stuck without a partn... (An instrumental remix of "Thug Luv" by Bone Thugs-N-Harmony starts up.) Dan: What--? There's Gino, ambling down to ringside alone! He's just taking his time, and Ozzy and Cyn look none too happy! Dima: Why should they look happy? What is there in this miserable capitalist country to be happy about? Dan: Gino enters the ring and just gives Ozzy a cold stare, then looks past him at Ray Richards and Chris Del Rio! But Ozzy won't have it! He turns Gino to face him, and they're having words! What's this? Gino's stepping out onto the apron and turning his back! I think he's wanting Oswald Bates to start this match! Ryan Gentle, the official for this match, calling for the bell, but Ozzy more than a little upset about it! But uh-oh, Ray Richards is wasting no time and taking advantage of the opportunity to blindside Ozzy! Richards pounding away on Bates, beating him down into the mat! Now he yanks him back to his feet and whips him into the ropes--nice powerslam by the big man! 1...2...a kickout by Bates! What is this? Gino is on the concrete and he just put his arm around Cyn!! Dima: I think somebody is in love! Us Russians are regular Romeos! Dan: OH NO! Gino just slapped Cyn on the rear end!!! Back in the ring, Richards points to Del Rio, and the "Ultimate Male" puts a boot up! Richards slams Bates' head into the big boot! A tag out to Del Rio! Del Rio with a back hand chop to the chest of Oswald Bates! Del Rio whips Bates to the ropes, but Bates comes back with a clothesline! Bates grabs Del Rio by the hair, and nails him with a series of headbutts! Bates pulls him back to his feet, and he's setting him up for a suplex...no, make that a brainbuster! Bates is going over to his corner, but Gino Valentini has his back turned, apparently jawing with a fan! Bates turns Gino around to face him, but Valentini's face is expressionless! Bates seems to have a few choice words for his partner, but Gino remains poker-faced as Del Rio comes from behind and nails him! Now he catches him in a nice belly-to-belly suplex for a 1...2...kickout! The Firm are definitely having their problems here tonight! Chris Del Rio pulls Ozzy back to his feet, and he's setting him up for, perhaps, a gutwrench suplex! But he can't get him over! Dima: He is just another puny American! Dan: Del Rio tries again, but Ozzy going for a reversal! No, Del Rio drives a knee into Ozzy's ribs and takes him over in a gutwrench suplex! Now a tag out to Ray Richards as Del Rio holds Ozzy's leg! Ray Richards comes off the second rope with an elbow to the midsection of Bates! Richards brings Bates back to his feet, but the ex-convict drives an elbow into the midsection of the "Ravishing One"! But Richards with a kneelift that takes the wind out of "Triple R's" sails! Richards with an Irish whip, and a spinebuster! A cover immediately...1...2...a kickout by Bates, but Ozzy's definitely in trouble here! Richards brings Bates back to his feet, and another Irish whip. Bates on the rebound, but...he drops to his knees, and OOH! A low blow folds Richards over! Bates moving over to his corner, but Gino's not reaching for a tag! He's not even so much as looking at his partner! Richards is crawling over to his partner, while Bates is extending his hand! Ozzy needs to make a tag, but Gino just shot him a stone-cold glare! Richards tags out to Chris Del Rio, and Del Rio grabs Bates by the legs and drags him back to his corner! Del Rio stomps on the lower back of Oswald Bates! Del Rio now sits on the back of Ozzy Bates and pulls back on the chin! Gino just stands in his corner, stone-faced, staring directly at his partner without a care in the world! Dima: Perhaps he has realized what a worthless piece of American trash this Bates is! Dan: Del Rio hops up and comes down hard on the back of Ozzy Bates! He's really working on that lower lumbar region! Now Del Rio goes right back to that camel clutch! Referee Ryan Gentle checking Bates, but you're not going to see Ozzy submit--at least not like this! Dima: Bah! He is puny American--Americans are all quitters! Dan: Del Rio hops on the back of Bates again! Bates is in pain, but he's still fighting it! Del Rio now with a slap to the face of Ozzy Bates! What cowardice! Dima: He is teaching this Bates a lesson! The American needs to learn some respect! In Mother Russia, young children are slapped regularly regardless of their behavior! Dan: Now Del Rio hops up again, but...Bates just turned around and lifted his knee! "The Ultimate Male" may have just become "The Ultimate Female"! Dima: Not quite, although he will be singing several octaves higher in the showers. Unlike in Mother Russia! In Mother Russia, everyone is a baritone! Dan: Ozzy once again tries to crawl to his corner, but Richards is back in! Richards kicks Bates while he's down, and then brings him back to his feet! He whips him into the ropes, and Bates on the rebound...FRANKENSTEINER!! Out of nowhere! But that took a lot out of Bates too! Bates is struggling back to his feet, and Richards is coming after Bates...but Bates nails Richards square in the jaw with a haymaker! Richards responds in kind, but Bates blocks the shot and delivers another one of his own! Richards with another attempt at a right hand, but it's blocked! And Bates now with another jab to the jaw! And another! And again! Ryan Gentle is warning Bates about the closed fist, but Bates doesn't care! Bates shoves Richards into the corner, and he's pounding away at him! Ryan Gentle steps in between the two, and oh! Richards took the opportunity to jab a thumb to the eye of Oswald Bates! And a clothesline takes the Convict down! Now Richards takes a swing at Gino!! Look at Knuckles! Now he wants in! But Ryan Gentle is backing him off! And while Gentles is distracted, look at this! Richards and Del Rio are shamelessly double-teaming Oswald Bates! Now come on--! Dima: Ryan Gentle is as short of sight as he is of stature! The Enterprise, they are merely taking advantage of the situation! Dan: Now Del Rio back in the ring, and I don't think there was a legal tag there...but Del Rio sets Ozzy up, and a piledriver plants him into the canvas! Now a tag out to Richards, and Richards drops a leg on the back of the neck! Richards brings Bates to his feet, and whips him into the Enterprise's corner! Now he's baiting Gino Valentini! Valentini tries to enter the ring, but Ryan Gentle backs him out! And look at this now! Chris Del Rio is choking Bates out with the tag rope! Valentini again tries to enter the ring in protest, but Gentle merely doubles his efforts to keep him out! Dima: Stupid American! This Gino Valentini, he is doing more to hurt his partner than help him! You hot-headed, undisciplined Americans cannot control your tempers! Dan: Richards back to the corner, and now he sticks his foot into the throat of Bates! Now that's a flagrant violation right there! Ryan Gentle putting the count to him! 1...2...3...4...Richards releases the choke! But he goes right back to it! 1...2...3...4...and again he releases it before the five-count! Dima: It is legal, what is problem? Dan: Ryan Gentle reprimanding Ray Richards and backs him off, but look at that! Look at that! Chris Del Rio putting his foot on Ozzy's throat now! Richards turns around and...he just flipped Gino an obscene gesture! Knuckles is furious! Ryan Gentle rushes to keep him out of the ring, while Richards and Del Rio put the boots to Oswald Bates! This is sickening! Bates is being systematically dismantled by the Enterprise! Del Rio steps into the ring and drops an elbow while Richards holds Bates down! Richards steps out! Gentle turns around, but Richards slaps his hands together indicating he made a tag! Bates being set up for what looks like a piledriver, and...uh-oh, Del Rio going up top! This could be a SPIKE piledriver! This could be the end of Oswald Bates! Richards is going for it...but he can't quite get him up! And again...but not quite! Bates drops and lifts Richards' legs, and OUCH! He just nailed him square in the groin! And Del Rio comes off the top with an elbow, but Bates moves and he lands on his own partner! This is the opening Bates needs! Can he make the tag?! Dima: I do not think so! Why? Because he is nothing more than a puny American! Dan: He's slowly regaining his senses! Gino looks restless over in the Firm's corner! Cyn is pounding on the mat! Bates is crawling slowly over to his corner...but Del Rio's got his ankle! Bates tries to escape Del Rio's grip...BOO-YA, he just kicked him square in the forehead! He's inching his way over! Richards is trying to get back to his feet to stop Bates from making the tag! Bates is still almost halfway across the ring from his partner! Richards is up on his feet! Can Bates make the tag? Richards charges at Bates, but Bates with one burst of energy leaps up and tags to Gino! Gino a house afire! He storms into the ring and pounds away on Ray Richards! He raises the big man in the air, and a Michinoku driver on Richards! Del Rio tries to interfere, but Gino takes him out with a Mafia kick! Gino is fired up! Gino whips Richards across the ring and catches him with a beautifully executed takeover powerslam! Now he drags him over to the corner and rams him repeatedly face-first into the turnbuckle! Richards is dazed...and Gino comes off the ropes with a nice jumping side-kick! Del Rio again tries to interfere, but Bates re-enters the ring and clotheslines him over and out! Bates and Gino whip Richards into the ropes, and a double clothesline on the "Ravishing One"! Now...whoa, wait, what is THIS?! BATES JUST GOT NAILED BY HIS OWN PARTNER!!! Gino caught him out of nowhere with that Death Valley driver!! Dima: Ha! I knew it! Just as I predicted! Ha ha! I laugh heartily at being right! Dan: Cyn is screaming! Valentini just standing in the ring with a cold glare for his fallen teammate...or, should I say, EX-teammate! Now Del Rio getting back into the ring...and Richards back to his feet, staring at Knuckles...THEY'RE RAISING HIS HANDS?! No! Gino "Knuckles" Valentini has JOINED THE ENTERPRISE!!! Dima: A step up, but he is still far beneath the Russian Powerhouse and Russian Roulette! Dan: Knuckles now turning and...DEATH VALLEY DRIVER ON RICHARDS!!! And now another one for Del Rio!!! Knuckles stands alone! He just stepped on Del Rio on his way out of the ring! What have we just witnessed? Dima: A beating.