Dan: Welcome back AICW fans! Before we get to our next match, I will be interviewing a new-comer here in the AICW! Ladies and gentlemen, sorry for the interruption of the great AICW action, but at this time I would like to introduce to you a brand new AICW superstar. We have Elvis, why not this guy? FROM GOTHAM CITY....BATMAAAAANNNNNN!!! Dima: HA! Now Dima is all alone! Dan: Batman.......welcome to the AICW. I guess tonight is the appropriate night for you to debut. Batman: Hello citizens! I am here in the AICW to protect the good fans from the filthy, dirty, rotten scoundrels that have taken residence here. The evil doers have been in control for too long and I am here to make sure the AICW is safe for decent folk again! Dima: You Americans are nothing but capitalist pigs! You rely on super-heroes to save the day! Dan: How do you propose to do that? Dima: In Russia, we rely on the theories of the great Karl Marx! Batman: Dan, psssst. It's CHANDLER STONE. Great costume huh? CHECK OUT THE COCK PIECE!!!!!! Dima: One nation under this "god"? HA! Dan: Chandler?!?! Are you out of your mind? You have a chance at the TV Title tonight, this is no time to be fooling around! Dima: One nation under the HAMMER AND SICKLE! Chandler Stone: C'mon Dan! It's Halloween! Let me have my fun. By the way, that's a GREAT costume you're wearing! Dan: I'm not wearing any costume... Chandler Stone: Oh......... Dima: Perestroika forever! Dan: Since you're out here, you might as well talk about the TV Title. Are you ready to run the gauntlet? Chandler Stone: Got any candy for me? Dan: No Chandler..... Chandler Stone: Any candy at the broadcast table? Dan: No Chandler....... Chandler Stone: C'mon, somebody out there has to have candy!!!! TRICK OR TREAT!!!!! Thanks! This rules! This is one of the best Halloweens EVER. HUBBA HUBBA! NOW THAT IS A TREAT!!!! Dan: Chandler the TV Title...PLEASE!?!?!!?!? Chandler Stone: That's the trick Dan. These guys may have been able to beat Chandler Stone, but how the hell can they defeat BATMAN!?!?!?!? Dima: You Americans may think you have won the Cold War, but one day, the Communists will regain a majority in the Kremlin! Dan: What a character that Chandler Stone is! Up next we'll see Elvis make his debut against Loki! Now, Juan LaFon has left the broadcast booth, because it was made known a few weeks ago that "Supersexy" herself is going to manage Elvis here in the AICW! Dima: Dima is glad that she is gone. She has a whiny voice and when she speaks, I get chills down my spine. Similar to if one scratches a blackboard. At least in Russia, our women has the same deep voices as the men! Andy: The following matchup is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, from Parts Unknown, weighing 467 pounds, LOKI! Dan: Loki coming down the aisle. He's one of the most hated men in the AICW! I had the displeasure of having to have him on the Daily Grind a few weeks back. Dima: If DIMA was on that episode, I would've crushed him! Dan: What is this?!! Juan LaFon is on the jumbotron! What does she have to say?!! Juan: Listen up all you worshipers at the shrine of the KING...ELVIS HAS ENTERED THE BUILDING!!! Dan: Juan ready to present us Elvis! And here comes the king! Dima: In Russia, there are no kings! Only a czar! Dan: And look over there! There's about six rows of fans holding up "Long Live the King", "The King is Back", and "Eat Long, and Prosper" signs! Some of them are even dressed as Elvis himself! And here come Elvis and Juan, and they're acknowledging their fans! Dima: Why did they let those fat, American housewives into the building? In Russia, only the most beautiful women are allowed to attend a sporting event! Dan: I guess not too many women show up then. Elvis is in the ring, in all his sparkling glory! He's dancing around, blue suede shoes, velvet and all! And look at Juan do the shake, rattle, and roll! Dima: You Americans don't know how to dance! Only us Russians dance gracefully! Dan: It looks like Elvis was dancing too much as Loki nails Elvis with a forearm to the back! Elvis was caught completely off-guard! Juan LaFon runs out of the ring to safety, and she's already screaming her dissatisfaction! Dima: You Americans are never satisfied! You can't cope with failure! Us Russians, however, never fail! Dan: Loki pounding away on Elvis! Elvis, much lighter than Loki, looks helpless under the weight of those blows! Loki now stomping on Elvis's back, and Juan pulls Elvis out of the ring! And she's screaming at Elvis! Juan: What do you think you're doing? You're embarassing me in front of all these people!! Shape up now or no dessert for you later!! Dan: Juan not too happy with her man. Elvis starts climbing up on the apron once again. Loki comes over, but Elvis with a headbutt to the midsection of Loki! Loki doubled over and Elvis with a nice sunset flip! Can Elvis carry Loki over...no...Loki sits down, but Elvis able to roll away and Loki hits the mat! Elvis up and a boot, rather a blue suede shoe to the back of Loki's head! Elvis picks up Loki and gives him a nice European uppercut! Loki back against the ropes, Elvis whips him to the other side. Loki back and Elvis with a sleeper on Loki! But can Elvis get the big guy down? Elvis jumps on Loki's back, but Loki runs backwards all the way to the corner and Elvis on the receiving end of a nasty avalanche! Dima: In Siberia, some towns get hit by up to three avalanches a week! Dan: Loki turns to Elvis who is backed up into the corner. Loki punching away on the king! Massive forearm shots to the ribs and face! How much longer can Elvis take this beating? Elvis falls down on the ground face first! Loki raising his arms in celebration! What is this? Johnny Blaze is coming to ringside! Loki staring at Blaze! Referee Thripaq Nguyen debating whether to send Blaze to the back, or pay attention to the match! Juan LaFon has jumped up on the apron! She's screaming at Nguyen, who gets in her face, and the two are arguing! Nguyen turns his back to the action! Elvis slowly coming to his feet! Blaze runs into the ring and he and Loki are brawling! Loki getting the better of Blaze, what is this?! Damion Sikes has come from behind and he plasters Loki with a steel chair! Loki is down! Blaze and Sikes get out of the ring as Elvis covers Loki! LaFon gets off the apron and Nguyen turns around! Nguyen goes for the count! ONE................................................... .............................TWO...................................... ................................................THREE! Elvis wins! Dima: Americans always take the cheap way out! Dan: Juan LaFon is celebrating Elvis's victory as the two go dancing all the way back to the dressing room! Loki is pissed! He's just gotten back to his feet and he's getting in Nguyen's face! Wait a minute, here comes Reign of Terror! They're punching away on Loki, and Nguyen retreats to the locker room, laughing all the way back! Sikes and Blaze getting back in the ring now. Reign of Terror holding Loki by the arms! Loki struggling to get loose! Johnny Blaze has a chair and he cracks Loki right on top of the head with that steel chair! Loki now down to one knee! Blaze grabbing Loki by the neck and he gives Loki a LOKI DROP! Johnny Blaze just gave Loki his own finishing move! All four men now stomping away on Loki! Dima: You Americans never fight man to man! Dan: Here comes security! They're trying to get these guys to stop this! The paramedics bringing a stretcher down to ringside. Finally the Four Souls Out of Hell getting out of the ring. They're raising their hands in victory! Dima: They did not win anything! Dan: They're halfway to the back, and Loki is up! He just popped one of the guards in the face and the others back off! He charges after the Four Souls! They turn around just in time and Loki racing these guys to the back! Loki is like a runaway train! Dima: In Russia, our trains runaway through entire towns! Dan: That's nice, Dima. You can bet that Loki will have business with the Four Souls Out of Hell sometime in the future! Tonight they cost him his match with Elvis! Let's go to the back where Reba Kola is standing by with ICE COLD! Take it away, Reba! Reba: I'm live with one of the few REAL men in the AICW, Ice Cold. Ice baby, you got a chance at the AICW Television Title Tonight when you are one of 7 participants in the "Run The Gauntlet" match. Would you care to comment? Ice Cold: I've waited a long time for this kind of opportunity and I am ready for action. It doesn't matter if I draw #1 or #7! The only thing that matters is that Ice Cold...... Dan: Wait...NO! Black Power just jumped Ice Cold. Martin X just nailed Ice Cold with a forearm. The Nubian Warriors are stomping on him! And NO! Martin X has Reba.! Reba: Get your hands off of me you racist, sexist PIG! Martin X: You shut up WHITE GIRL, before you get some of what that fool's getting! Dan: Martin X just shoved Reba Kola to the floor! Somebody get security back there! Martin X just grabbed a chair and slammed it right across the knee of Ice Cold! And he does it again! Finally security arriving to break it up. The members of Black Power have just attacked Ice Cold, and I'm not sure he's going to be able to participate in that Gauntlet match that's coming up later on tonight. Dima: You Americans are pathetic! I once got attacked by 20 men, who beat me up in a parking lot in some place called Syracuse, New York because they were afraid of the mighty Dima! Dan: And you're still alive? Dima: Of course! I put each and every one of them in the hospital! Dan: Ladies and gentlemen, Juan LaFon has just re-joined us here at the broadcast position! Juan, congratulations on a lucky victory tonight for Elvis! Juan: Luck had nothing to do with it! It was pure skill on my part! Oh by the way Dima, I just ran into a bunch of your friends in the lockerroom...something about beating up on you some more because it was so much fun the first time around! Dan: Anyways, up next, "The Mighty C.C." Cesar Colon will be interviewing The Crow! The Crow defeated Mr. Y on Saturday Night Heat in a brutal no holds barred contest, so we now go to Cesar Colon! Juan: Oh no--not the guy with the hair fetish! Dan: Cesar? Cesar: What?! Oh! Ahem! Ladies and gentlemen, my guest at this time is a man who has beaten Mr. Y twice! Most recently in a no holds barred contest! Please welcome the Crow! Dan: Here comes the Crow! He's acknowledging his fans as he steps up to the platform! Let's hear what he has to say! Cesar: Well Mr. Crow, tell us, why did you choose to join the AICW? The Crow: I chose this league because it had a promising offer and I took it. It is brand new and I want to rule it! Cesar: Mr. Crow, what are your plans in the AICW? And who does your hair? 'Cause that is just grody, buddy! The Crow: I am here for ONE purpose. To get rid of evil and to have the world title. I am afraid of no one and I am certainly not scared to go into a fight alone. I TAKE ON ANYONE! Cesar: What did you think of Mr. Y? The Crow: Pure pathetic! He was stupid and a moron to step in against me. Cesar: Is this face paint a Halloween thing or what? I don't like the way the light reflects off of your face. That face paint has GOT to GO, BUDDY! By the way, what do you think of the holiday of Halloween? The Crow: I think that this holiday is the one I love the most because this is the most darkest and scary day in the world and I am the one who strikes fear in those who do evil. Cesar: Mr. Crow, do you have anything else to say? The Crow: Yeah, I do! Mr. X you have entered this organization and now you are in my territory! I challenge you to a Falls Count Anywhere match! Do you accept or yield? In fact I challenge anyone to that match. Dan: Oh my! One of the props seems to have come to life! The Crow: Lets see who has the balls. HAHAHAHA! Dan: OH NO! IT'S ALIVE! That huge prop scarecrow is lacing into the Crow! Look at the size of him! He's putting the boots to the Crow! Cesar: I'm outta here, buddy! Dan: The scarecrow wraps those huge meat hooks around the Crow's neck and he picks him up! OH NO! He...it just CHOKESLAMMED the Crow!! Juan: Do you see the irony in this? Dan: What a devastating manuever! This scarecrow is picking up the Crow again! Now he setting him up for a CRUCIFIX SLAM! The Crow is out cold, and the scarecrow is just staring at this capacity crowd which is not too happy with him! Dima: He must be a RUSSIAN scarecrow! Dan: Wait a minute! What is this?! Mr. Y has just emerged from the back! He's covering the Crow!!! And now he's counting one, two, three! This guy is too much! I thought the boos were loud for the scarecrow, but this is ridiculous! Mr. Y is raising his hands in victory! Juan: It's about the only way he can get a win around here, the little wuss! Dan: The scarecrow is just looming over Mr. Y and now Mr. Y patting the scarecrow on the back hesitantly! Mr. Y grabbing the microphone now! Oh no, not again! Dima: He still only has three minutes right? Dan: We certainly hope so! Mr. Y: YEAAAAAH!!! YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT! TAKE THAT, THE CROW!!! SEE WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU SCREW WITH MR. Y?!! See, me and my buddy over here don't like you! That's right, we don't like you! And this beating you took tonight? Yeah, this beating is only a small taste of what you'll get if you screw with me again! Yeah! And me and my pal here are gonna...BLEAHHH! Dan: The scarecrow has just wrapped his hamhocks around Mr. Y's neck! Mr. Y drops the microphone and the scarecrow CHOKESLAMS Mr. Y! Juan: Now there's something to cheer for in all this pathetic display! CHOKE HIM! KILL HIM! KILL! KILL! KILL! Dan: Both Mr. Y and the Crow are laying on the ground! The scarecrow walks back into the locker room! What business does he have back there?! "The Demon" Kyle Bane is out here now and he's grabbing Mr. Y by the legs! He's dragging Mr. Y back into the locker room! Now the Crow getting back on his feet and he charges into the back! I think he's going to look for the scarecrow! Ladies and gentlemen, we'll be back!