Dan: Fans, what a night of action we've had so far! In addition to "Swingin'" Chandler Stone successfully defending his title against El Aguila Negro in what was a CLASSIC matchup, we've crowned TWO new champions, Juan! Juan: You don't have to tell me, Dan! I had to sit through all that crap too! Dan: The Nubian Warriors are the first ever AICW World Tag Team Champions! Juan: What a mockery to fakers everywhere! Dan: And what about "8 Ball" Vic Garibaldi winning the AICW International Title?! Juan: Vic who? I must have dozed during that one! Dan: Well up next, we'll crown our first ever AICW WORLD CHAMPION!! Any speculation as to what kind of match it will be? Juan: Long and boring as usual! Dan: The moment we've been waiting for has finally arrived! Eight of the top AICW stars in one match! Lets go to Andy for the introduction of the participants! Andy: Ladies and gentlemen, this is the MAIN EVENT, and it is for the AICW WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP!!! First, let me introduce to you the participants! <"Refuse/Resist" by Sepultura blares once again over the sound system.> Andy: Introducing first, STEPHON T. DAVIS! Dan: STD ready for action! Juan: STD!!! You mean the guy's actually named after a motor oil? Must be pretty slick! Andy: LOKI! Dan: Will the big man be able to dominate this match? Juan: That fat slob would dominate in a lunchroom, but here? No way! Andy: "GOLDEN BOY" JOHNNY SMITH! Dan: Certainly one of the favorites for the title! Juan: Not mine! Andy: ICE COLD! Dan: Ice Cold looking pumped! Juan: I'm telling you....it's all in the steroids! Andy: LEGION! Dan: Will it be this man's night to shine! Juan: He's a psychopath who belongs to some lab in Iowa! Andy: "THE DEMON" KYLE BANE!!! Dan: Bane with a disturbing grin on his face! Juan: What's more disturbing is that he seems to be wearing lipstick! Andy: MARTIN X! Dan: This black man looking to rise above the competition! Juan: Are you down with the homeys? Andy: And finally, JOHNNY PAYNE! Dan: If this is a hardcore match, I'm sure that he'll be the favorite! Andy: And now, AICW Commissioner Argie Otero and Mark McMahon! Juan: Oh not that b.....what's SHE doing here? Dan: Argie now getting into the ring with the microphone! Half of these men are in ring number one and the other half are in ring number two! Argie Otero: Okie-dokie! Thank you, Andrew! Before I announce the type of match you'll be in, I'd like to welcome everyone to Apocalypse '97, y'all enjoyin' yourselves? Good. I'd also like to wish each and every one of you the best of lu.. Mark McMahon: Gimmie that! Nobody is listening to your boring speech anyways, so let the REAL genius behind this federation talk! Now, you people are probably dying to know what kind of match this is so I'll tell ya! But first, I'm going to tell you a little story! I was only five years old at the time, but what happened still disturbs me to this day! T'was the night before Christmas and all through the house, not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse. Mother was sleeping, and father as well. My brother was snoring, but he couldn't tell. I was asleep, lying in bed, while visions of Hogan danced in my head. Somewhere in the house, things weren't right, I heard a sound, and awoke with a fright! I rolled out of bed and opened my door, crept down the stairs and looked on the floor. A figure in red, big as a bear, it was Uncle Frank in white beard and hair! With gifts in hand, he was under the tree, cup full of egg nog, he drank it with glee! Uncle Frank stood up tall and looked at the lights, ornaments all over, the tree shined so bright! The dog humped the tree and the star came a-fallin', Uncle Frank grabbed the dog and slapped him in the noggin'! "Lumbering Dog" old Frank would preach, as for replacing the star, Frank couldn't reach! He went in the garage and what did he find, a ladder he brought, on which he would climb! He put back the star, stood tall and smiled. Little did he know, the mutt was a-riled! The dog charged the ladder and down the thing went, Frank hit the ground and the ladder was bent! I checked his pulse because Frank hit his head, and that's when I realized Frank was dead! My Uncle Frank fell off a ladder to his death! Get the picture?! As you can see, hanging from the rafters in the AICW World Title! So, you want to know what kind of match this is? It's an EIGHT MAN LADDER MATCH!!! You can also be eliminated by pinfalls and submissions! All falls count anywhere! I hope you people have extensive insurance, because you're gonna need it! I know what you're all thinking! You can't wait to smash someone's head in with that ladder! Well think about this, I hope that one of you poor souls is trying to climb up, and some idiot dropkicks the ladder and you fall off and break your neck! That'll show you! I know you're all dying to kill each other, so ring the bell! Dan: Mark McMahon really vented his anger! The bell has rung and this match is underway! All eight men are going at it! Loki pounding away with massive forearm smashes on Stephon T. Davis! Martin X trying to avoid Ice Cold, while Johnny Payne trades blows with Kyle Bane! This is incredible! Who's your pick, Juan? Juan: Not the stupid, boring guy! Dan: I have to go with the big man, Loki! He's pounding away on STD! Legion and Johnny Smith having a go at it now! All eight men want the gold! Juan: Well duh! That's why they're in there fighting like animals for the perverse enjoyment of these schmucks! Dan: Martin X is running out of the ring and Ice Cold is chasing him! Martin X is running back to the locker room! Martin X just ran under the ladder! Juan: If I were a foolish woman, I would say that was bad luck...but since I'm not, I'm not gonna say anything at all! Dan: OH!! Martin X stopped dead in his tracks and slammed the ladder into Ice Cold's face, who was running after X! Martin X yelling to the crowd! Now he picks up the ladder and drops it right down on Ice Cold's stomach! Ice is gripping his midsection! Juan: I assume that's a fetal position he's crawled up in or he's jerking off in front of everybody! Dan: Oh stop! Legion has thrown Johnny Smith to the outside! Legion going to the top! Smith now getting to his feet! Legion with a flying body press to the outside! SMITH MOVES!!! And Legion lands with a thud on the concrete! Meanwhile, in the ring, Johnny Payne catches a forearm shot from Kyle Bane! Bane pounding away! Loki now with an Irish Whip on Davis, Davis back and Loki with the clothesline! Juan: I didn't know he could move under all that grime and fat! Dan: Martin X now kicking away at the ribs of Ice Cold! Martin X is unrelenting! Martin X now picking up the ladder! He's going to introduce into this match! He's bringing it into the ring and the fans are going crazy! This is the most insane match I've ever seen! Juan: Visit the Village in N.Y. and then we'll talk! Dan: Martin X shoves the ladder in the ring under the bottom rope! WHOA!!! BOO-YAA!!! Johnny Smith just picked up Legion and powerbombed him on the concrete! Smith covers Legion! James Roma jumps out of the ring to count! ONE.....TWO........LEGION kicks out! Smith yelling in Roma's face about not being there in time to take the pinfall! I thought Roma did a great job in hustling over! Juan: That twit's slower than a 3 toed sloth! And you think he's fast? Dan: Kyle Bane still working over Johnny Payne! Bane now whips Payne into the corner and follows it in with a double axe-handle! Nicely executed! Meanwhile, Loki now picking up STD and he plants him with a sidewalk slam! Loki with the cover! Gentle counts...ONE......... ......TWO............................THR..NO!!! STD able to kick out! Loki complaining about a slow count! Martin X trying to set up the ladder in ring number one! No wrestlers are there right now! The belt is hanging over that ring! Martin X climbing up! Ice Cold just coming to! Ice Cold making his way back to ringside! He's focused on Martin X! OH!!! Johnny Smith just blindsided Ice Cold! Ice Cold goes flying into the guardrail! He may have hit those ribs that Martin X injured earlier! Juan: Is that why he's crying like a little boy? Dan: Martin X is inches away from the belt! Finally Kyle Bane sees this and he comes into ring number one and pulls Martin X down from the ladder! Kyle Bane came from behind! Bane pulls him down and Irish Whips Martin X to the ropes! X back and Bane lets him fly into the ladder! Martin X hits head first! X is down! Bane with the pin! ONE.....TWO..........NO!!! Only a two count! Bane complaining to Thripaq! Bane and Nguyen have had their problems in the past! Juan: Well, get over it! This is a match for Christ's sake! Dan: Now on the outside, Johnny Smith gives Ice Cold a side Russian leg sweep! Smith the excellent technical wrestler! Legion is now back on his feet, and he rolls into the ring! Legion back on his feet in ring number two and Payne charges him, but Legion with an armdrag takedown! Legion can wrestle as well! Payne is frustrated and he rolls under the bottom rope and to the floor! Payne is getting caught in wrestling moves and I think he realized he can't be disqualified! Meanwhile, Loki whips STD into the corner and he follows him in with an avalanche! OH NO!! Johnny Payne has a chair in his hand! Payne smacking the steel steps with the chair! Look at the fire in his eyes! Juan: If I'm not even looking at him, I'll be damned if I'm gonna look in his "eyes"! Dan: Johnny Payne charges the ring! He whacks Legion in the head! And there's a shot for Loki! Right in the back! Loki falls to the outside of the ring! Payne whips STD into the ropes! STD back and Payne whacks him in the forehead with that chair!!!! Stephon T. Davis has been busted open! Payne going back to the outside! He plants a chairshot right on the back of Johnny Smith's head! And there's a shot for Ice Cold! Payne rolls back into the ring! Payne with a shot for Martin X! BOO-YAA!! Martin X goes down! Here comes Kyle Bane! Payne with a shot! Bane staggers backwards! Payne with another! And another! Bane is bleeding now as well! Payne with yet another shot and Bane falls to the outside! Payne just laid waste on every superstar in this match! All seven other men are down! Look at these fans! They're screaming like never before!!! Payne now drops the chair and picks up the ladder! He's asking the fans if they want him to go up!! Juan: Why is he even asking these zombies? Dan: He gives the thumbs up!! Payne starts his ascent! Payne going to the top! He's only a few feet away from the belt! Payne only needs to go up about two more steps and the gold is his! Payne inches away from being the champ! He's gonna grab it and..OH!!!! Legion pulled the ladder from under Johnny Payne! Payne hits the canvas hard! Meanwhile, Stephon T. Davis back to his feet! He goes to the outside and picks up Loki! He executes a body slam on the concrete! Juan: Hmmmmmmmmm.....didn't know a body could jiggle like that! Dan: Martin X is just coming to as well! He runs to the ropes and dives out of the ring! Flying Honkey Smasher on Kyle Bane!! Martin X took the big man down! Johnny Smith still in control on the other side! Smith picks up the big man and BOO-YAA! Tilt-a-whirl slam! Juan: I'm sure his mom's real impressed! Dan: Legion picks up Payne and gives him an inverted atomic drop! Payne is hurting! Legion follows up with an elbowsmash to take Johnny Payne off his feet! Meanwhile, on the outside now, Stephon T. Davis trying to get Loki up with a suplex! He goes for it, but he can't do it! Loki is too big! Loki breaks the hold and kicks Davis in the midsection! Loki now with a powerbomb on the concrete! Davis is hurt bad as Loki goes for the pin! ONE......TWO......THRE! NO! Ramon De La Cerveza says no! Loki not pleased! Martin X on top of Kyle Bane! He's punching away on him and making the cut on Bane's forehead worse! Juan: I've always wondered how much the human body could bleed! Dan: On the outside, Smith trying to set up Ice Cold for a DDT! Smith goes for it, but the big man blocks it! Ice Cold now drives Smith backwards and into the steel post! Smith clutches his back in pain as he goes down! Ice Cold finally getting a chance to recover! Payne is down on the mat! Legion drops the elbow on Payne! Legion in control of Johnny! Stephon T. Davis is still down on the concrete floor! Loki now standing on the apron, high above STD! Loki with his back turned to Davis, he leaps off with a moonsault! STD just got crushed by Loki! Martin X setting up Kyle Bane for a Northern Lights Suplex! X goes for it, but he can't get the big man all the way over! Kyle Bane breaks the hold and clotheslines Martin X! Ice Cold rolling in the ring! Ice Cold sneaking up behind Legion! Ice Cold with a slap followed up by scoop! Ice Cold now with a powerslam on Legion! Juan: Mayhem and chaos reign supreme here in the AICW! Dan: Loki now getting back in the ring! He's targeting the groggy Johnny Payne! Perhaps seeking payback for that earlier chairshot! Payne is still down! Loki with a splash, but Payne moves!! Loki hits the canvas! Payne getting back to his feet! Payne picking up the big man and he executes a backbreaker! Meanwhile, on the outside of the ring, Kyle Bane with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker on Martin X!!! Bane with a cover, and James Roma counts! ONE.......TWO.......X kicks out! Juan: That guy's counts way too slow!