Andy: Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest, scheduled for one fall, is for the AICW Television Championship! (crowd cheers) ("Slip Slide Melting" by For Love Not Lisa plays throughout the arena.) Andy: Introducing first, the challenger: weighing 197 lbs., from San Diego, California, here is El Įguila Negro! (The crowd cheers wildly as El Įguila walks through the curtain. He raises his hands in the air, then motions around his waist indicating a belt. He runs down the aisle and leaps into the ring.) Dan: El Įguila certainly looks ready for his first shot at championship gold here in the AICW! Juan: HAH, with a name like that, I think he's ready for the INS! Andy: And his opponent, from New York City, weighing in at 221 lbs., the AICW Television Champion, "Swingin'" Chandler Stone!!! Dan: And here comes the TV Champion! Chandler Stone actually going into this one with a size advantage... Juan: He might be, but not where it counts the most, if you know what I mean. Dan: Will you stop it! (Chandler enters the ring. He holds the TV belt above his head and begins jumping around. He looks at El Įguila and begins doing mock-karate motions.) Juan: The kid belongs more in daycare than in a wrestling ring! Dan: The referee calling for the bell to start this match. El Įguila offers his hand to Chandler. Chandler reaches out to shake it...oh, come on! He just pulled it back and stroked his hair! Juan: What's he trying to imitate now? A washed up jerk? Dan: Chandler turns around and swivels his hips for the fans, but El Įguila takes advantage of the opportunity, and dropkicks him in the back of the noggin! Chandler goes through the ropes to the outside! This crowd seems to be greatly in favor of El Įguila! Juan: Well you know, Mexico's not too far south of the border. These guys probably scaled the fence to cheer for their hombre! Dan: Will you stop it! Chandler's on the outside clutching his head... he turns around, and PESCADO by El Įguila!! El Įguila yanks Chandler up and tosses him back into the ring! Now he leaps to the apron, and then the top turnbuckle in one fluid move! Chandler is on his feet--Įguila with a top rope scissor kick! This Įguila Negro is as graceful as a cat and twice as quick! Juan: Sometimes, it pays off if you're slow and steady! Dan: (pauses) Will you stop it! You'll be outta here in a minute! The TV champion back on his feet, but El Įguila whips him into the ropes! Įguila off the opposite ropes, and a flying bodypress! One...two...a kickout by Chandler! El Įguila sends him into the ropes again, and a crescent kick takes Chandler down! Įguila bounds over and springboards off the ropes, dropping an elbow on Chandler Stone! Įguila brings Chandler back to his feet. Chandler reverses an Irish whip into the ropes, and now Chandler with a tombstone attempt...no, Įguila reverses it...NO, Chandler executes a nice spinning headscissors takedown--(almost screeching) NO, ĮGUILA TWISTS AND LANDS ON HIS FEET!!! BOO-YA!!! Juan: Dan, did you just have a circumcision or is your voice just naturally high and irritating? Dan: Uhhh...will you stop it! (clearing his throat) Įguila with a huracanrana on Chandler!! 1...2...kickout! Chandler isn't getting a moment's rest in this match! Juan: So what, it's not as if Aguila can keep his pace up after executing so many fancy, shmancy moves! Dan: El Įguila pulls Chandler back up, but--OH! That looked like a low blow by Chandler! Juan: I'm sure it didn't hurt much....after all, there ain't nothing down there anyway! Dan: Will you stop it! Referee Ramon De La Cerveza reprimanding Chandler, who says it was a kick to the midsection! Chandler follows up with a falling headbutt to the lower abdominals...and that was also questionable! Chandler swiveling his hips again, as only he can! Juan: EWWWWWWWW!!!!! I think I'm gonna be sick! Dan, hold out your hands! Dan: Will you... Juan: Buy you a cheap hooker for your first and only time? No, Dan, I think I should leave that touching moment for your mother to enjoy! Dan: Ummm...back to the match! Chandler grabs Įguila's legs, and flips over into a pinning combination! Įguila kicks out at one! Chandler gets hold of Įguila's arm. A twist of the arm, and Chandler nails him with a crescent kick to the face! Chandler slaps on a half crab. The tide has certainly turned in this matchup! Juan: Yada, yada, yada! Move it along, already! Dan: Chandler is really applying the pressure to the leg of El Įguila! This is good strategy...take the legs out, and "The Eagle" won't be able to fly! Juan: Dan, if you say one more stupid analogy, your head's not going to be the only thing small about you! Dan: Chandler releases the hold, and now he drops a leg on the back of Įguila's neck! He rolls him over and makes a rather nonchalant cover. 1...2...and a kickout. You're not going to ground "The Eagle" like that! Juan: You act as if anybody even cares! Dan: El Įguila back to his feet, but Chandler clips the knee! Chandler grabs the leg and applies a spinning toe hold! I've heard him call this the "Stoney Toe Hold"... Juan: Very original.........for a sexually deviant, mental retard! Dan: Chandler twisting those ligaments in the knee of El Įguila! He's trying to put that leg out of commission! Now El Įguila uses his free foot to push Chandler off! El Įguila regains his vertical base, but Chandler whips him into the corner. Chandler stops to play to the crowd, which could turn out to be a mistake--Chandler rushes into the corner, but El Įguila moves! Chandler hits the buckles hard, and Įguila with a roll-up! 1...2...and...no! Chandler lifts Įguila back up, and tosses him into the corner. Now he delivers a knife-edge chop! Chandler: WOOOOOOO!!!! (crowd responds with jeers) Dan: And another! Chandler: WOOOOOOO!!!! (crowd again jeers) Dan: Chandler now strutting around the ring! Chandler pulls Įguila out of the corner, and now he whips him into the ropes. Įguila on the rebound, and a FLOAT-OVER DDT plants Chandler into the mat! Both men are down! Juan: Let 'em stay there for all I care! Dan: Įguila is the first to move! He's back on his feet, and now he's climbing the turnbuckles! But Chandler gets back to his feet as well, and he kicks the ropes! Įguila comes down hard, spread-eagled on the top turnbuckle! No pun intended... Juan: Better not have been a pun! Dan: Chandler climbs the buckles; could he be going for a superplex? Įguila still has plenty of fight left in him, and he and Chandler are trading punches! Įguila shoves Chandler off, and now a cross body off the top...but Chandler rolls with the impact, and now he's covering Įguila!!! ONE... TWO... THR...that was a close one! Both men back up, and Chandler attempts to whip Įguila into the corner--but Įguila reverses it! Chandler hits the corner, and Įguila with a handspring elbow! And he follows it with a Japanese armdrag takedown! Now Įguila with a senton splash on Chandler! Įguila goes for a pin...1...2...Chandler kicks out. Įguila brings Chandler up to his feet, but Chandler Stone hits Įguila with an elbow to the breadbasket! Now he drives a knee in, doubling the masked man over! Now he goes to the ropes, and comes back with a flying forearm right to the back of the head! Chandler Stone goes up top, and he takes a moment to strike a pose! Juan: I've seen roadkill on the street that could strike a better pose! Dan: Chandler hits a flying elbow on El Įguila! He covers him...1... 2...Įguila still able to get a shoulder up! Chandler now having some words with Ramon De La Cerveza...apparently he's not too happy with the way Ramon's counting... Juan: Hey, you can't blame a drunk for slurring his words! Dan: Įguila struggles back up, but Chandler sets him up, and a tiger bomb by the reigning Television champion! 1...2.....that was a two and a half! Chandler brings El Įguila back to his feet, and now he sends him into the corner! Juan: I bet I know what's coming up next..... Dan: Chandler rushes the corner, but Įguila moves out of the way! Chandler goes flying to the outside! Chandler went for an enziguiri there, but nobody was home on that one! Juan: Is that much of a surprise? Dan: Chandler is stumbling back to his feet...watch out, here comes Įguila! Įguila races across the ring, whoa--WHOA!!! BOO-YAAA!!!! (crowd cheers wildly) El Įguila Negro just executed a running double-jump swan dive plancha onto Chandler on the outside!!! Did you see the grace with which he hopped onto that top turnbuckle and out of the ring?! Juan: If I wanted to see grace, I sure wouldn't be looking to a sweaty, greaseball like him! Dan: You have no appreciation!!! I believe that beautiful maneuver is called "El Vuelo de Muerte"! Anyway, both Įguila and Chandler are still down and out! Ramon De La Cerveza putting the count on both men! What a disappointment this would be if this match were to end on a countout! Įguila is crawling back to the ring! Chandler still isn't moving! Remember, if El Įguila wins by a countout, he's won the match but NOT the TV title! Chandler's beginning to move! Įguila goes back and "assists" Chandler to his feet! Įguila rolls Chandler back in! Now he's going up top! This could be it! What's he going for? What's this--? SHOOTING STAR PRESS! BUT CHANDLER ROLLS OUT OF THE WAY!!! EL ĮGUILA MISSED THE SHOOTING STAR PRESS!!! Chandler down, Įguila down... Juan: And stay down!! Dan: Chandler's trying to pull himself back to his feet...Įguila's struggling back up...Įguila now moving toward Chandler...STONEYKICK! ... STONE CUTTER!!! ONE... TWO... THREE!!!!!!! BOO-YA! CHANDLER RETAINS THE TV TITLE!!!! Andy: Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of this contest at a time of 22 minutes, 43 seconds--and STILL AICW Television Champion--"Swingin'" Chandler Stone!!! Dan: Chandler Stone certainly earned that victory! And he's also definitely earned the respect of the fans! Chandler now headed for the showers! Juan: And boy, does he need it! Dan: Įguila is still in the ring. He's recovering from that Stone Cutter...and just listen to the ovation he's getting! Even though he didn't win the TV title, he's still a winner in the eyes of the fans! Juan: The fans are high school dropouts that have no future prospects! What the hell do we care what they think? Dan: Wow! What a match! Up next will be semifinal action in the AICW Tag Team Tournament! In our first match, Money and Power will meet the Reign of Terror! Andy is ready for the introductions! Andy: This semifinal contest is scheduled for one fall and has a 20 minute time limit! Introducing first, led to the ring by Erotic Erin McCoys, from Chicago, Illinois, at a total combined weight of 535 pounds, Greg Days and Jason Steele--MONEY AND POWER!!! Dan: Money and Power had minor trouble with the young team of Shamrocks and Shenanigans earlier. Their main rivals, the PPD, were very impressive in their first round matchup! Money and Power look very determined to prove that they can be just as dominant! Juan: It shouldn't be that hard considering they're going up against losers! Andy: Their opponents, led to the ring by Ali, at a total combined weight of 450 pounds, representing the Four Souls From Out of Hell, Armageddon and Abomination, the REIGN OF TERROR! Dan: These young superstars had a great match with another young team, the Rising Suns! Juan: Speak for yourself Dan! I sure wouldn't consider any of them near being great! Dan: Money and Power running out of the ring and attacking the Reign of Terror in the aisle! We've got a brawl started here! They're now trying to drag them into the ring! Referee James Roma has lost control early! Juan: Big whoop! The guy can't even control his bodily functions and you expect him to control a bunch of gorillas? Dan: Greg Days tosses Abomination out of the ring and Money and Power are pounding away on Armageddon! The bell rings as Greg Days nails him with a chokeslam! They're picking him up and they gave him the GOLD RUSH!!! Steele covers him! ONE..........TWO.................... THREE!!! Andy: The winners of this contest, at a time of 13 seconds, MONEY AND POWER!!! Dan: Money and Power go to the finals! Juan: Thank God it was short for once! Dan: They're pointing to the camera saying that they want the PPD! Juan: Well then, they can meet them in a bar later for drinks!