AICW Presents: APOCALYPSE '97 Live from The Alamo Dome in San Antonio, Texas Sunday, November 16, 1997 Andy: Ladies and gentlemen, it's the end of the world as we know it, and I feel fine....what about you? Andy: Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Dan "The Man" Chan and "Supersexy" Juan LaFon! (DING, DING, DING) Dan: Juan, the electricity is so thick, you could cut it with a knife! Listen to these fans! Everybody is ready for Apocalypse '97! Juan: You mean SnoozeFest '97 don't you? I hear snoring already! Dan: Well we must be hearing different things! Tonight we crown THREE champions! What kind of match is in store for the AICW World Championship? Juan: Hopefully, one that lasts less than 15 minutes. The shorter, the better! Dan: Don't want to be here all night I assume? And how about the King of the Hill battle royal for the AICW International Title! How do you think your man, Elvis, will fare in that contest? Juan: It's no contest! After all, I'm his manager! What better advantage does he need? Dan: We'll also crown our very first AICW Tag Team Champions! And don't forget about AICW Television Champion defending his title against El Aguila Negro! Juan: How can anyone not forget such a stupid match? Dan: I happen to think it'll be a barn-burner! Without any further ado, lets go to Andy Burton for the introduction of the first match. Andy Burton: Our opening contest is a round one match in the AICW World Tag Team tournament, and it is scheduled for one fall. First, coming down the aisle, accompanied by their manager, Erotic Erin McCoys, from Chicago, Illinois, at a total combined weight of 535 pounds, Greg Days and Jason Steele, the team of MONEY AND POWER!!! Dan: And Money and Power making their way down to the ring with a mixed reaction from the crowd. The men in the audience sure like Erin, though. She's HOT! Juan: Dan, Dan, Dan, like I keep telling you, you've got to get out more! Close your mouth, you're stinking up the air! Andy Burton: And their opponents, being led to the ring by Red, from Rochester, New York, and Boston, Massachustes, at a total combined weight of 517 pounds, here are "Irish" Jay Champy and Danny Boy, the team of SHAMROCKS AND SHENANIGANS! Dan: And the crowd cheering loudly as these exciting youngsters make their way down the ring. They have a lot of talent, but can they handle the experience and ring savvy of MONEY AND POWER? Juan: Those two pipsqueaks couldn't handle a $10 hooker let alone Money and Power! Dan: I happen to think that they're both great young competitors! The bell sounds and Jason and Danny Boy will kick things off for us. They lock up and Jason, the bigger and the stronger of the two overpowers Danny into the corner. Referee James Roma calls for a break but Jason Steele ignores him and sneaks in a knee to the stomach followed by an uppercut which knocks Danny to the mat. Jason drags him out of the corner and picks him up and body slams him to the mat. Goes for the cover, ONE...........TWO..........Danny kicks out! Juan: I wonder if he's a masochist? Dan: What? Jason pulling him up and he connects with a punch to the face. Steele sends him to the corner, but an Irish whip reversal by Danny Boy, no pun intended! Danny charges, but Jason moves and Danny hits the corner hard! Jason now with the tag to Greg and Money and Power double-teaming Danny Boy! Juan: Stop with the remarks Dan! Leave that up to a professional 'cause you're screwing it up! Dan: I am a professional! I have a masters degree in broadcasting! Referee James Roma telling Jason to get out of the ring and he reluctantly does. Greg, picking him up and he nails him with a POWER BOMB! Nice move by the big man! He hooks the leg, ONE............... ....................TWO............NO! Danny with another kickout. The youngster is hanging in there. Greg complaining about a slow count and DANNY WITH THE ROLLUP FROM BEHIND, ONE.............TWO............ ......THREE..No! We almost had an upset right there! Greg now pounding on the youngster. He sends him to the ropes, but Danny with the tag as he hits the other side. Danny comes back and Greg catches him with a powerful clothesline! But here comes Jay Champy and CLOTHESLINE sends the big man off his feet! Jay with the pin, ONE..... .........TWO..............NO! Greg kicks out. Juan: Danny kicks out... Greg kicks out! Will this match ever end? Ahhhhhhhhhh!!! Dan: Easy Juan! Jay punching away on Greg. He sends him to the ropes and a KNEE TO THE GROIN! BRUTAL! Greg is bending over in pain. Jay going up to the top rope. He comes off and FLYING BULLDOG! Hooks the leg, ONE...............TWO..................NO! Greg kicks out again! Jay picking him up. He trys for the Fishermen's Suplex, but OH MY! Greg reversed it and caught him with a fisherman suplex of his own! ONE.............TWO...............NO! Jay Champy still able to kick out! Greg Days bringing Jay to his feet. He whips him to the ropes and another big clothesline! Greg making the tag to Jason. Jay getting to his feet as Jason comes in and Jason with a superkick, but Jay ducks! Jay with a roundhouse right, then an eye gouge, and an uppercut! Jay on fire! Jay slaps a clawhold on Jason Steele! Jay lets go and a left hook takes Steele off his feet! Jay now making the tag into Danny Boy! Juan: What are you looking at me for? I have no comment! Dan: I see. Danny Boy slaps a full nelson on Jason Steele! Steele trying to shake him off! Steele backs into his corner and Greg Days with an elbow to back of Danny Boy's head that breaks the hold! Jason now with a tag into Greg. Money and Power again pulling the double team! Jay Champy running in, but Days grabs him by the neck and chokeslams him in the middle of the ring. Money and Power now setting up Danny Boy and they nail him with the Gold Rush! Days with the cover, ONE............TWO...................THREE!!! Andy Burton: The winner of this match, at a time of 8 minutes and 28 seconds, the team of MONEY AND POWER! Dan: Shamrocks and Shenigans put up a good fight! But they just couldn't put away this veteran team! Juan: I've seen two old ladies put up a better fight than those two puny lightweights! Dan: I thought they did extremely well! Next up, we've got an exclusive interview with the Perfectly Perfect Duo! Let's go to Reba Kola! Reba Kola: My guest tonight, could very well be the FIRST ever, AICW World Tag Team Champions! Please welcome THE PERFECTLY PERFECT DUO! ("More Human Than Human" plays over the PA as the lights go out and the crowd starts going wild. A lime green spotlight then shows as Sensuous Samantha steps out the men go gaga. She's wearing a solid black evening gown and has her hair down. Lance and Max then step out. They're already in their wrestling attire. Sensuous Samantha and PPD walk down the ring. Lance and Max both sit on the ropes as Sensuous Samantha climbs in. She smiles and walks over to Reba and gets ready to interview.) Reba: (smiles at Sam) Hi Sam! (frowns and Lance and Max) Lance....Max. (looks at Sam) That is a STUNNING dress Sam! Where did you get it? SS: Where did I get it? DO YOU ACUUALLY THINK THAT I TELL WHERE I SHOP? Never, dear. I wouldn't want miss Erotic Erin showing up in the same dress on the next event, now would I? (smiles) Reba: Of course not! Well, you got this big Tag Team Tournament tonight! In the first round, you face The Blood Brotherz! What do you think about your competition? Lance: Let me tell ya now, Reba babe. We're not worried about some losers called "THE BLOOD BROTHERZ" .. really pathetic name. We're only worried about getting our hands on one team named MONEY AND POWER, and that ain't saying much because we when do .. they're gonna regret it! Max: Have no fear, my brother dear. We WILL get our hands on them later tonight. Why? Because we're the Perfectly Perfect Duo and we're waltzing in that ring tonight, and we're winning every match that we're put in! BECAUSE WE CAN .. and because we want another little match with POWER AND MONEY .. what great excitement it shall be beating those losers and getting the AICW tag team championships! Reba: What about The Nubian Warriors? I may hate their stinkin guts! But those are some big strong men and they don't like you one bit! Can you take them? Lance: Ah yeah, I'll give those guys some credit. They've been lifting some weights. BUT WHERE ARE THE BRAINS IN THIS EPISODE? Braun may count, but if they're stepping anywhere near the ring with US, the PPD, we'll out do them in ring technique and that's that! Sensuous Samantha: As you can see. This really isn't anything for my boys to come out here and give the AICW a pathetic little interview for ratings. We're doing this because we like to and because we're showing the world what your future tag team champs are going to be like . . hmm, 23 tag titles are something to brag about. Reba: 23 tag titles? That's impressive! Well, if you make it to the final round and if Money and Power makes it to the final round, what do you expect will happen? Max: What do you mean, "what do we expect to happen"? WE EXPECT TO WIN! Wait .. lemme rephrase that little thing .. we WILL win. See, I ain't taking anything away from Money and Power. They're something! They're great wrestlers .. we're PERFECT wrestlers. They've got some good moves .. we've got PERFECT moves! What else is there? Nothing in the sport of wrestling but confidence. Wel, I'll be damned .. we got confidence, and we got the right ways to win! Lance: Now that's the way it goes. That's the way that every tag team in the sport of wrestling should feel. Take it from two of the best .. take it from the best tag team in the world. We're right on target when we say we're winning the gold. Reba: Samantha, do you think Erin will play a factor in the outcome of this tag team tournament? Sensuous Samantha: Of course I do. That's why I'll be willing to chop these here heels off! (Sensuous Samantha pulls her dress up some while the guys go wild and points to the heels.) I'm not at all "afraid" to make sure my boys get rightfully what they deserve. Tag team titles, tag team titles, and more tag team titles. I'm living in a dream land here, and Erotic Erin isn't going to make it a nightmare. For I have two of the best in the AICW, and we all know it. Reba: Well, I hate to admit it, but you guys look ready! Any final comments? Lance: Nah .. Money and Power have heard us the past two months! They know what they've got coming to them, and so do any other tag teams. Max: You got that right . . the one and only Perfectly Perfect Duo are here to deliver to the wrestling world what we always do tonight, and that is QUALITY! SS: Sorry Erin .. better luck next time. Sensuous Samantha is in town, and I'm the better one. I have my four leaf clover out, and I'm nothing but PURE LUCK! ("More Human Than Human" pumps the arena as the Perfectly Perfect Duo and Sensuous Samantha exit the ring.) Dan: What do you think of the comments made by Lance and Max, Juan? Juan: If these dang interviews get any longer, I'm going to start demanding overtime pay! Dan: You already make twice what I make! Anyways, the PPD will be facing the Blood Brotherz later on in round one! Juan: Oh! I have goosebumps........somebody turn off the AC! Dan: I think it's quite comfortable in here! Up next we've got a match between the Nubian Warriors and the Spartan and the Wolverine! There are reports in the locker room that the Spartan and the Wolverine haven't yet shown up. That's not too much of a problem, since their contracts have been terminated because they lost the loser leaves AICW cage match to Black Power. Any ideas why they haven't shown up? Juan: Maybe their McDonald's jobs are keeping them too busy to attend our little gathering? Dan: I would assume that the Nubian Warriors are to receive a buy to the semifinals. And look who's in the audience? It's The Spartan and Wolverine! Juan: Who cares? I sure don't! Dan: Oh boy! Here come the Nubian Warriors! And look who's with them! It's the AICW commissioner, Argie Otero! And look at the faces of The Spartan and the Wolverine! They look pissed! Juan: I thought that was their normal expression. Dan: Argie and The Nubian Warriors have entered the ring and Argie has the mic! I wonder what she is going to say? Argie Otero: Okie-Dokie! As you already know, The Nubian Warriors were scheduled to fight The Spartan and the Wolverine! But, as you may already know, The Spartan and the Wolverine lost the Loser Leaves AICW match to Black Power! So, I have no choice but to reward The Nubian Warriors with a buy to the second round! Dan: The crowd booing loudly and look at the smiles on the faces of The Nubian Warriors! What's this? The Spartan and Wolverine have jumped the guardrail! They're trying to attack the Nubian Warriors! Luckily security catches them before they can hit the ring, and they are being excorted out of here! Remember, they are just fans now, so they are no longer allowed access to the wrestling ring! Juan: Big deal! With filth like the Nubian Warriors in there, who wants to go in?