Dan: Welcome back to Monday Night War, and right now let's go back to the ring for our World Television Title match, Zeek Monkey defending against RiverStorm!! Andy: The following contest is scheduled for one fall and it is for the AICW TELEVISION CHAMPIONSHIP!!!!! (cheers from the crowd) Introducing first, from Cheyenne, Wisconsin, weighing in at 287 pounds, RIVERSTORM!! Dan: RiverStorm now making his way to the ring, and he looks determined tonight, coming off a win over Mista Smith in record time, and now going for the TV title! James: Yo, I hope he do one of those rain dances! That would be madd ill! Dan: RiverStorm is in the ring, and here comes the champion! Andy: And his opponent, accompanied to the ring by Nikki Electra, from Nightmareland, weighing in at 245 pounds, he is the current AICW Television Champion, here is ZEEK MONKEY!!!!! [Zeek Monkey comes out from behind the curtain and walks down the aisle, dragging his feet behind him, with Nikki Electra bringing up the back. Zeek is wearing his usual tattered and torn trenchcoat, along with a pair of ripped and dirty black jeans with and a dirty white tank top, and an Alliance headband around his head, which he displays proudly. Nikki is wearing a "Zeek Missle" t-shirt and a pair of jean shorts, with her hair tied into two pigtails. Zeek and Nikki enter the ring, and as Nikki looks out into the crowd, Zeek climbs up to the second turnbuckle and raises his arms in the air, then bringing them into an "X" and letting out a "Scream of Pain"] Dan: The newest member of The Alliance looking ready for battle here tonight! James: And I'm ready for battle with that broad Monkey be banging, Nikki! Dan: It appears that both men are set, and we're ready for action! Dan: There's the bell, and RiverStorm charges right in against Zeek! But Zeek's out of the way, and 'Storm goes right into the corner with all his force! Zeek now working over RiverStorm's back with those double axhandle shots, and Zeek now whipping him into the ropes.. No, RiverStorm reverses it! Zeek off the ropes, DUCKS A CLOTHESLINE!! RiverStorm turns around, and Zeek hits him with a dropkick right to the kisser that sends 'Storm staggering back! James: Oh snap!!!! Dan: Zeek now hoisting himself up to the second turnbuckle behind RiverStorm.. BULLDOG HEADLOCK!! Zeek now going for a quick cover on 'Storm! One...........Two........... No! Two-count only says referee Peter Kaplan! RiverStorm now getting to his feet, Zeek Monkey coming in.. Bodyslam takes Zeek down to the mat! RiverStorm now bringing Zeek back to his feet, and again whipping him into the ropes! Zeek off the rebound.. And this time 'Storm connects wit a big clotheline! James: He almost took his head off! Dan: RiverStorm once again picking up Zeek, and a rake to the eyes! And now 'Storm setting up Zeek Monkey.. GUTWRENCH SUPLEX!! And now RiverStorm going for the cover! One....... Two....... No! Zeek Monkey kicks out at two! RiverStorm now once again bringing Zeek Monkey to his feet, and choking him out over the top rope with that "Black Tie Affair!" Peter Kaplan laying on the count! One... Two... Three... Four... And 'Storm breaks it, but he goes back to it! Kaplan again laying on the count, and RiverStorm breaks it up again! James: Yo Dan, if I got a piece of Nikki, I'll break that pu-nomi apart! Dan: Cut that out! RiverStorm getting in the face of Kaplan, but now going back to work on Zeek! He picks him up yet again, and sends him into the ropes yet again! Zeek coming in... TILT-A-WHIRL BACKBREAKER BY RIVERSTORM!! RiverStorm going for the cover! One......... Two......... No!! Zeek Monkey able to kick out of that move! James: Yeah, but if I gave Nikki a piece of my monkey, she wouldn't be able to kick out! Dan: 'Storm once again getting in Kaplan's face, but quickly turning his attention back to Zeek. RiverStorm picks him up, and whips him to the ropes! 'Storm with a boot to the face.. No! Zeek caught the foot, and he trips RiverStorm up, sending him flat on his back! Zeek holds onto the leg, and drops the elbow down on the other knee! Zeek back to his feet, and he drops the elbow again! Zeek once again taking control of this match, and he's headed to the top! Zeek Monkey going to the top rope, RiverStorm's back on his feet! MISSLE DROPKICK BY ZEEK MONKEY!! And 'Storm goes spilling to the outside! Peter Kaplan laying on the count.. And Zeek's headed back to the top! What's he doing?! RiverStorm on the outside, Zeek on the top rope... Zeek leaps, and OH MY!! He attempted a high cross bodypress to the outside, but RiverStorm moved and Zeek went crashing into the steel guardrail!!!!! James: (laughing) You big dummy!!!!! Now you gonna lose the title AND get yo butt kicked by Legion! Dan: RiverStorm now taking advantage over Zeek Monkey.. And he whips him into the steel ring stairs! Zeek looks hurt, and Nikki Electra looks concerned for her man! Zeek now down on the outside, and 'Storm picks him up and throws him back in! 'Storm follows him in, and slowly stalking over his body, picking him up.. And sends him into the ropes again! Zeek off the rebound.. ANOTHER HUGE LARIAT NEARLY TAKES ZEEK'S HEAD OFF!! And now RiverStorm, not wasting any time, bring Zeek Monkey to his feet! CHOKE SLAM SENDS ZEEK MONKEY DOWN HARD!! Dima/James: YEAH!!!!!! KILL HIM!!!!!! Dan: RiverStorm lets out a war cry! He could be going for the "Storm" power bomb! RiverStorm now picking Zeek Monkey up............. ZEEK MONKEY WITH A THUMB TO THE EYE!!! Zeek squirms out of the move, and 'Storm staggering back.. Zeek's got him up on his shoulders!! He's got him up........ INSTRUMENT OF DESTRUCTION!!!!!!!! ONE!! TWO!! THREE!!!!!!! Andy: The winner of the match, and STILL AICW Television Champion... ZEEEEEEK MONKEY!!!!! Dan: Zeek Monkey successfully defending his title against RiverStorm, in what was a greuling match... Wait a second!! Here comes Legion!! Out of the crowd, from behind!! James: He cheated! Now Legion gonna get him! Dan: Legion nails Zeek Monkey from behind, but I think Zeek may have seen him coming! Zeek now fighting back, knocking Legion back.. And what's Nikki Electra doing?! James: She wants me to come under the ring with her! Dan: Nikki Electra searching under the ring... She's got something... Is that barbed wire?! Nikki throwing what appears to be barbed wire into Zeek, and he's wrapping his fists in it!! Zeek wrapping his fists in barbed wire, and he's firing away on Legion! Oh my!! Legion's been busted open!!!! James: HELL YEAH!!!!! BLOOD!!!!!!! Dan: These two men will meet in a SCAFFOLD MATCH this Sunday!! And they are still going at it as the officials pulling them apart!!!! Zeek Monkey, still the AICW Television Champion, and he will defend that title against Legion as the officals escort them back to the locker area.... ["Cooler On My Crotch" by Frenzy begins to pump the arena ... the crowd rise to their feet.] Dan Chan: Wow! An interview with Frenzy! This should be very interesting to say the least! [Suddenly JC and Den Frenzy step through the curtain ... well, something like JC and Den Frenzy. It's none other than Lance and Max Studd "dressed" like Frenzy. Lance Studd well ... JC Frenzy wearing a blue and black plaid dress with purple, orange and yellow Joe Boxer pajama bottoms underneath. He also has on an official Frenzy shirt. His face has two triangles painted underneath each eye ... one blue, other black. His formerly blonde hair is now taken over by red, blue and green highlights being spiked up by some sort of gel. He's carrying a pair of drumsticks and plays air drums with them. Max Studd, also known as Den Frenzy follows behind JC carrying his precious Peavy Predator guitar. Den is wearing a dark blue dress, with red, and yellow checked Joe Boxer pajama bottoms underneath. He has on his official Frenzy shirt and a little bit of make up as well. Den has a nice pretty red ribbon tied in his hair. The fans are obviously in shock begin booing "Frenzy." JC and Den look at each other and shake their heads to the music. They climb into the ring and begin dancing around each other before climbing on the second ropes and raising their hands in the air. JC Frenzy then jumps off the ropes and runs after Andy Burton with a clothesline. JC suddenly stops and grabs the microphone leaving Andy dumbfounded.] Lance Studd [JC Frenzy]: Wha?! You ain't ever seen a PUNK ROCKER, man? You need to get out more! Now ... YOOOOO, DUDES! What's going on, peeps? We've got some music for yas out there, brahs! Frenzy, we in the house! Max Studd [Den Frenzy]: YO BUBS, WE IN DA HOUSE DOWN HERE IN GOOD OLE' ARIZONA! Tonight here on WAR, the *best* tag team in the world will be giving you in in-depth look on why we should be the tag team champions and not the Perfectly Perfect Duo! Because myself and JC, well we wrote this very special song for PPD and all our many fans out there! But right now ... let me say what a pleasure it is to be with my faithful companion JC FRENZY! EVERYONE IN THE AUDIENCE ... give it up for JC FRENZY! [The crowd begin to boo JC who takes a small bow. JC then takes his drumsticks and starts playing air drums again.] Dan Chan: Oh my God. I've never seen something so pathetic in my life! Someone get those guys outta there! James: Nah!! Chill!!!! This is madd funny!!! JC Frenzy: [hits head] Daaaamn skippy! Wow, it sure feels great to be here! But, aside from all this paint and junk let me be the first to say that the Perfectly Perfect Duo are the best tag team in not only the AICW ... waaaaait, make that the world! We honor and respect the PPD and we know that next week that they're probably going to beat us in Madison Square Garden but we're going to put on the best show we can because we love you fans! But somehow, some way, we're going to *be* the tag team champions one day and each and every one of you will get a free copy of our album when it comes out! [yells] FRENZY 3:16, BABY! Dan Chan: Good lord ... what have these guys gotten themselves into? [JC and Den Frenzy both smile and start banging on the canvas ... jumping up and down and also head banging. The crowd seem to really be into this ... until they start singing.] JC Frenzy: Yeah, yeah ... Frenzy rule the AICW. When we beat the PPD we're gonna say, "HA HA HA, I TOLD YA!" Me and Den, we're got the rhythm and the best, so all you Frenzy fans out there get on your FEET! FRENZY! FRENZY! FRENZY! Dan Chan: [holding ears] OH MY GOD! MY EARS! And now the audience is throwing rubbish into the ring! These guys couldn't carry a tune if they wanted to! Someone get them outta there. SECURITY! SECURITY! Den Frenzy: Lance and Max Studd ain't nothing but duds. So next Sunday when we're in the Garden you know who to cheer for ... and that is the most REVOLUTIONARY tag team in the wrestling industry, THE PPD! Dan Chan: The PPD? [JC and Den stop singing long enough for the crowd to start booing them even more. JC ... or Lance takes the microphone and begins to speak.] Lance Studd: You know, you'd think that the Perfectly Perfect Duo have dressed up enough this week but we just can't get enough! After portraying Mexicans we knew that we'd have to come up with something even better against this grand tag team that everyone calls Frenzy. We dig up these bogus costumes, steal their musical instruments, make up a song, come out here and sing it and you LOSERS out there in the audience sure don't appreciate talent when they see it! Let me tell you now that if Frenzy aren't going to want to kill us already then they sure are now! PPD ... the one and only major tag team in the AICW! Come Dangerous Games our CHALLENGERS are going to be defeated right in the center of this squared circle! Max Studd: But, of course. Well, Lance, I thought that we did a pretty good job at being FRENZY! I mean, we've got it going on and now that all these idiots out there throwing rubbish out us, it makes us look even better but I can't wait to get back there, take this skirt off and was this here make up off! Now, aside from all that the PPD are having a lot of fun feuding with Frenzy. We bring in all the ratings while they sit back and do nothing but complain! Frenzy, you ripped us off, and now we're doing the pleasure of ripping you off. We're no fools ... we're just the champions. The best damn champions at that and the PPD are going to walk all over your asses next Sunday and hold on to the precious gold that we've had since last year. Sleep well, guys. Sleep well! HIT THE MUSIC! ["More Human Than Human" by White Zombie replaces the old music that PPD entered to. Lance and Max Studd both smile and dance around the ring before leaving it and taunting the fans and returning to the back of the lockeroom.] Dan: The PPD doing a little Frenzy impersanation, and I'm really looking forward to that match! When we return, "Honesty" vs "Holiness" That is, if De Niro can still wrestle! Stay with us!