AICW Monday Night War Monday June 22nd, 1998 American West Arena, Phoenix, Arizona (The camera opens to a shot backstage in the lockeroom. We see "Honest" Nicky De Niro walking down the hallway. Suddenly, a large black man with a baseball bat runs up behind De Niro and slams the bat across his back. We recognize the man as The Knick Man as De Niro stumbles to the ground. The Knick Man immediately jumps on top of De Niro and begins to pound him with punches as security is immediately show running behind. The security guards grab The Knick Man and pull him off Nicky De Niro as The Knick Man tries to break free, kicking and screaming....) Knick Man: YOU!!!! YOU KILLED MY MOTHER....YOU.....YOU....BASTARD!!!!!!!! (furiously flailing his fist in the air) (The camera shows a final shot of The Knick Man trying to break free as security is pulling him away. The scene fades out and fades into The American West Arena, Phoenix, Arizona. The camera gets a wide aerial shot of the sold out arena as the Monday Night War music plays loudly in the background. We see a large amount of fans, smiling and waving at the camera. The angle switches to the broadcast booth where Dan "The Man" Chan and "The Mack" James Mack are shown sitting at. Dan is wearing a black suit while James is wearing an orange "Pure Playz" tee shirt and a pair of blue "Mecca" jeans.) Dan "The Man" Chan: Welcome everyone to MONDAY NIGHT WAR!!!!!! I'm your host Dan Chan and joining me is James Mack! Well, as you have just witnessed, The Knick Man has visiciously attacked Nicky De Niro in the locker area just moments ago, blaming De Niro for the death of his mother! James Mack: Yeah kid! De Niro KILLED DA SKINS SON!!!! Dan: That's disgusting! We don't know the condition of Nicky De Niro at this time, but he's scheduled to take on The Saint later on this evening. We have an awesome show for you tonight coming to you live from Phoenix, Arizona! In The Main Event, the hometown hero "Big D" Devon Burke will defend his Inoki Cup Championship against Triple Threat's "Hot Property" Brandon Matthews! James: Well we all know who DA REAL BIG D IS! Matthews is gonna beat the daylights outta "Little D" kid! Dan: As I said eariler, "Honest" Nicky De Niro is scheduled to take on The Saint. Hopefully De Niro will be in wrestling condition. James: No doubt kid! De Niro is a HONEST man son! You know he gonna represent for all his fans yo! Dan: Oh please! Also, for the AICW Television Matchup, the champion Zeek Monkey will defend his title against Riverstorm. Monkey has literally been on a tear thus far in the AICW. But Riverstorm is on a tremendous winning streak as of late! Can Riverstorm summon up that inner strength necessary to take the title? James: He ought to do one of them ill indian dances son! Dat would be PHAT! Dan: In tag team action, The Throbbing Members go head to head with the biggest team in the AICW, All You Can Eat! James: Yo, those cats are FAT!!!!!!!! Damn, them kids need to get their own area code man! Dan: In a match pitting two of the AICW's top rookies, the undefeated "Human Torture Rack" Ian Walsh takes on "The Perfect Speciman" Brock Carden, who just suffered his first AICW loss against Andrew Awesome a week ago. James: Nobody can stop that n!##@ Ian. He mad ill! Dan: Finally, The Dynamic Dudes meet The Asian Assassination Squad in tag team action! James: WACK! Dan: What an amazing card we're bring to you tonight..... (Suddenly, "Ode to Joy" by Mozart starts playing) Dan: Ladies and Gentlemen, we weren't scheduled for any interview time here! I wonder what's going on? James: Don't look at me yo! I don't know! (The crowd goes silent in anticipation of who is coming out. Suddenly, Billy Kane appears in a robe.) Dan: Oh brother! It's Billy Kane! James: Yeah! My n!%%@! (He has his quarterstaff in one hand, and a brown paper bag in another. He is busy checking out all the women in the audience. He stops at one lady and asks for her number. As she is giving it to him, what seems to be her boyfriend is yelling at Billy to leave his girlfriend alone. Billy mushes the guy out of his face, and gets the number from the girl. He makes his way into the ring, and gets the microphone.) Billy Kane:(points to where this altercation took place) I'd like to say to that soon to be ex-boyfriend in the crowd that you can have her back after I'm done with her... But you know what they say... Once you go Kane..., you don't want to go back. Dan: Oh give me a break! James: You just jealous yo that you don't got the lyrics like THE BIG DADDY KANE BABY!!!! Billy Kane: Now, I'd like to say to all my fans out there that I appreciate the way that you spend your hard earned money to see me every night. And to show my appreciation, I'm unveiling my new 98-99 calendar. It's on sale now at the sales table. In it, I will be wearing stuff like this... (Billy takes off his robe to show that he is wearing nothing but a pair of string speedos with the British flag on the back. All the women in the audience are going crazy and taking pictures at the same time. He hits a couple of poses for the camera, puts his robe back on, then gets back on the microphone.) Billy Kane: Okay, ladies... Just because Kane is... bigger than the average man is no excuse for you all to dump your husbands and try calling me all night long. Now, I have been hearing some awfully mean words from the women of the AICW. Sensuous Samantha says I owe her, and that steroided up chick... Allanis, or whatever her name is, says that I can't score... which isn't what she said last night, and people have been just plain mean. Well, I have just one thing to say to them. I own all the women in this federation, and they are my property. They had best watch it too, or else I'll have them all barefoot and in a kitchen before any of them know it. The BDK (Big Daddy Kane) is starting to get just a little bit pissed off by all of this, and I will come out on top. Because I'm Billy Kane... and I'm the man. (As Billy gets ready to leave, the women in the audience start chanting "Show your butt!!". Billy gives a quick flash (which gets a buch of screams) and then makes his way to the back.) Dan: I can't believe the nerve of this guy! Let's just go to our opening match, Throbbing Members vs All You Can Eat! (DING DING DING) Andy Burton: The following contest is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, accompanied to the ring by Big Mamma, from Charleston, South Carolina, weighing at a total combined weight of 750 pounds, Big Bob Twinkie and Fat Daddy, the team of ALL YOU CAN EAT!!! ("The Theme To Fat Albert" begins to play) Dan: Here comes All You Can Eat! The biggest tag team in the AICW! James: Them n!%%@'s is LARGE! I love it when ya call me BIG PAPA!!! Dan: The team of All You Can Eat climbing into the ring. They are going to have some tough competition today in Throbbing Members, who are undefeated thus far! Andy: And their opponents, from Phoenix Arizona, and Hollywood California, weighing at a total combined weight of 505 pounds, Stephon T. Davis and "Sunset" Tommy Jobber, THE THROBBING MEMBERS!!! Dan: And here they come!!! Stephon T. Davis receiving a pretty large ovation! He's from Phoenix and the ladies really love him here! And look at this? STD is letting one of the female fans feel his chest and he's loving it! And WOW!!!! Look at the kiss he just laid on her! James: He ain't got no game yo! I'll get the digits in a second! Dan: The Throbbing Members climbing into the ring now and we're about ready to get this match started. The official for this matchup will be Peter Kaplan. And it looks like Tommy Jobber is going to get things started for us, matching up against Big Bob Twinkie. Bob Twinkie, the smaller of the All You Can Eat brothers, but far from being a small man, as he weighs in at 350 pounds! James: Twinkie got a BIG OL BUTT!!!! Dan: The bell rings and they lock up! Twinkie easily getting the strength advantage and he just pushes Jobber against the ropes! Jobber charging towards Twinkie, but he just crashes into the big man and falls down on the mat. Running into a man that big is like running into a brick wall! James: And dat n!%%@ A BIG OL WALL!!!!!! Dan: Twinkie to the ropes and HE MISSES the elbowdrop! Jobber able to roll away just in the nick of time. Now Jobber applying the leg lock on Twinkie. Twinkie however, able to reach the ropes and referee Peter Kaplan forcing him to break the manuever. Jobber however, still applying the leg lock and Kaplan forced to put the count on him! One.....Two.....Three....Four and Jobber releasing the hold at four. James: This is CORNY yo! I wanna see him smash that n!%%@'s skull open kid! Dan: Jobber to the ropes and he nails him with an elbow smash. Jobber with the cover......one.........two.........and he only gets the two count! Jobber picks him up and he brings him over to STD and makes the tag as Stephon T Davis recieves a loud reaction from the crowd. STD hammering away on the back of Bob Twinkie knocking him down to the mat. He picks him up and takes the big man down with a scoop slam to the mat! Fat Daddy reaching for the tag and STD nails him with a punch to the face! And the big man stumbles off the ring apron and falls on his back! Stephon T Davis pulling Twinkie up. He lifts him up annnnnnd DOWN WITH A GERMAN SUPLEX! Great show of strength by STD right there James! James: It was aight! But it wasn't ALL DAT! Dan: Davis with the cover...........one...........two..........three!!! NO!!!! Very close pinfall right there by Davis! STD pulling the big man off the mat. Lifts him up and HE NAILS HIM WITH AN INVERTED SUPLEX!!!! And The Throbbing Members in full control of this one! Davis tagging in Tommy Jobber! Davis pulling Twinkie up! Davis holding Twinkie! Here comes Jobber annnnnnnnnd BOO-YA!!!!!! He nails him right on the chin!!!! Jobber with the cover.......one.....two.........and he pulls him up! Kaplan arguing with Tommy, but he really doesn't seem to care! Tommy going up now! Tommy on the top ropes! He leaps off and BOO-YA!!! Leg Drop off the top ropes! And The Throbbing Members really looking at the top of their game tonight! James: No diggidy! They giving The Fat Boy wanna bees a PHAT BEATDOWN! Dan: Jobber tagging in Davis once again and the crowd loves it! Davis pulling the big man to his feet! He measures him up and AX KICK TO THE NECK!!!!!! Here we go!!! He's going for that STD!!!! Can he get the big man up in such a position? Davis lifting him up and STD!!!!! He got him!!!! What a devestating reverse powerbomb by Davis! Davis with the cover.....one.....two.......three!!! It's over! (DING DING DING) Andy Burton: The winners of this contest, THE THROBBING MEMBERS!!!!!! Dan: The Throbbing Members victorious and they are looking awfully impressive as they head into Dangerous Games to take on The Family for the AICW North American Titles! James: I give dem their props baby! They did their thang! I ain't gonna front! Dan: When we return, more of MONDAY NIGHT WAR!!!