(Metallica's "Master of Puppets" blares over the sound system.)

Dan: NO!  NOT THIS WEEK!

(Mr. Y storms down the aisle and grabs the microphone.  He taps the
microphone.)

Mr. Y: (voice cracks) Testing...one...two...(feedback from the mic)
AHHH!  Yeah! Anyway...(points to a ringside fan) hey you! (voice
cracks) Shut up! Yeah!  Anyway, now down to (voice cracks)
business...see, the other night, I got (voice cracks) SCREWED! Yeah,
that's right! Screwed! I come out here to do an interview for you
monkey-lookin'...(pauses) monkey-faced...(pauses) MONKEYS, and what
happens? The microphone doesn't work! Yeah, that's right! The (voice
cracks) mic didn't work! What's the deal with that, huh? Doesn't
anything (voice cracks) work around here? I mean, come on! And then,
that piece of (voice cracks) crap, Eye-an Welsh or somethin'...yeah,
that's right! He comes out here and he attacks me from (voice cracks)
behind! You call that (voice cracks)  sportsmanship? What's that all
about? Huh? Really! Yeah! Between that, and alllll the (voice cracks)
interruptions, I've been gettin' the royal (voice cracks) SHAFT from
the AICW! I haven't even been getting my (voice cracks) airtime! What
about my two minutes? What about me? What about (voice cracks) MR. Y?!
How do ya expect to make a (voice cracks) SUPERSTAR without proper
(voice cracks) PROMOTION? Huh? Really!!! I mean, I...

["Breathe" By Prodigy Begins to Play and Kyle Bane storms down the
aisle, eyes narrowed to slits...arms spread wide in a "What the Hell?"
Gesture.]

Dan: Here comes trouble!

Kyle: Hold Up.............(Grabbing the mic. and speaking into it)
Hold up there........you haven't had proper promotion? YOU? Do you
remember what You were before I found You? Before I made You? Before I
gave you a family? Merchandise? DO YOU REMEMBER YOU LITTLE SACK OF
LYING, TREACHEROUS,
CONNIVING VOMIT? DO YOU POSSIBLY SEE WHAT MY F(BEEP)ING PROBLEM WITH
THIS IS? DO YOU  UNDER-F(BEEP)ING-STAND?

Mr. Y: Well, I...

Kyle: I've given you a place in My stable.......I've tried to get you
into matches, I've tried to train You.......What do I have to Do, Huh?
What Do I have to do? NO ONE IS HOLDING YOU BACK. YOU'RE TOOO DAMN
LAZY! I LOOK AT YOU, and I SEE SOMEONE Who SHOULD HAVE DRANK THE
KOOLAID AT JONESTOWN! I
SEE SOMEONE WHO SHOULD HAVe BURNED AT WACO! I SEE SOMEONE WHO WOULD
HAVE FITTED RIGHT IN AT HEAVENS GATE! YOU'RE A PATHETIC LITTLE MAN,
MR. Y. I've PUT TIME, MONEY AND ENERGY INTO YOU........and WHAT HAVE
YOU GIVeN ME in return, huh? What have you given Me?

Mr. Y: But, it...

Kyle: I'm Coming out here......MADISON F'N SQUARE GARDEN.....MY
HOMETOWN....One On One against Byron Brady.......The Dog that won't
STOP barking at My heels...and You're whining about your LACK of
Promotion when you turn down every match, every training session I TRY
to put YOU IN? I DON'T NEED THIS RIGHT NOW, AND I DON'T NEED YOU!

Mr. Y: Hey! Now wait a min...

Kyle: Too Late, Little Man! (Drops the Mic. and Grabs Mr. Y, giving
Him a big kiss on the lips. As Mr. Y staggers in shock, Kyle Scoops
Him up and Chokeslams Him to the Mat, dropping a knee on the prone
"wrestlers" throat. While Mr. Y is thrashing and gagging, Kyle drags
Him out of the ring)

Dan: WHOA!  Kyle Bane has just dumped Mr. Y!!!!!

Kyle: SEE YOU LATER, MR Y! AND DON'T FORGET TO WRITE!  (Laughing, Kyle
pulls the mat down, scoops up Mr. Y and Powerslams Him onto the
concrete....kicking the twitching form before leaving Ringside in
disgust, "Breathe" Kicking in over the loudspeakers)

Dan: What a night it's been so far!  We've got to take another break,
but when we return, "Hot Property" Brandon Matthews takes on James
"Simply the Best" Pillow!