(Metallica's "Master of Puppets" blares through the arena.) Dan: Oh NO! (The dressing room curtains part, and seconds later Mr. Y steps through. He is wearing a black jacket, which he opens to reveal his new Y-shirt. He enters the ring and spins around, pointing at the fans. He hops over to Andy Burton's ringside seat and harasses him for the microphone.) Dan: I don't think ANYONE wants to hear what HE has to say! (Mr. Y stumbles back into the ring and taps on the microphone.) Mr. Y: HELLOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-O-O-O-O-O-OOOOO-O-O-O DEE-TROIT! (gasps for air for several seconds) Yeah! That's right! Detroit! Yeah! The (voice cracks) Motor City! Home of...hey, you shut up, you loser! (points at a ringside fan as the fans jeer loudly) Yeah! That's right! You're a loser! (looks around at the crowd) Yeah! He's a loser! Just like those (voice cracks) Detroit Pistons! Yeah! That's right! (loud jeers) They're (voice cracks) LOOOSERS! Yeah! Y'know, when I'm sittin' at home, watchin' a Pistons game, I can't help but think..."These guys are (voice cracks) LOSERS!" Yeah! That's right! Anyway, y'know who I like? The (voice cracks) New York Knicks! Yeah! That's right, the New York (voice cracks) Knickerbockers! (reaches into his jacket pocket and pulls out a small Knicks flag; begins waving it) Yeah! But, y'know, last week, there was this (voice cracks) guy, y'know, and he was wearing a (voice cracks) Knicks jersey, and callin' himself the (voice cracks) Knick Man, and...yeah, that's right, he got his (voice cracks) BUTT kicked! Yeah, that's right! He got his butt kicked! Yeah! What a disgrace to a great basketball team! Yeah, I wonder what (voice cracks) Michael Jordan thinks about this guy? Yeah, that's right! Michael (voice cracks) Jordan! But y'know, the reason the Knick Man's in the hospital right now is because of (voice cracks) ME! Yeah, that's right! Because of me! I put the Knick Man in the hospital! Yeah, and he's (voice cracks) SCARED of me! (points to another ringside fan) Shut up, you! (looks around at the fans for several seconds) YEAH! Dan: Andy trying to regain the microphone...I think these fans have heard enough! Mr. Y: (voice cracks) HEY! Back off, ya moron! I'm talkin' here! Yeah! I got my rights, y'know! Dan: Ladies and gentlemen, Kyle Bane is making his way down the aisle! (Bane makes his entrance as Mr. Y begins stumbling nervously; as Bane approaches ever nearer Mr. Y fumbles to close his jacket and cover the Y-shirt.) Kyle: (Entering the ring and grabbing the Microphone from Mr. Y) You Know...I'm getting pretty sick and tired.....This Was supposed to be a Demonweb Interview...at least, that's what I was told........and then We get to the arena, and I'm in the back with My boy Osmosis, and My Man Steve Dunne....and I look around and Mr Y is gone................So I say what the hell? But I trust you, Y-Man...(Pointing to Mr. Y) I have ALWAYS given you the benefit of the doubt......so I'm getting ready to send out the rest of the Demonweb ready....and one of Argie's Toadies comes up to Me and tells Me they don't need the Demonweb on Tv Tonight....We don't have any upcoming matches at the PPV...so I want to know, Mr. Y..........Is just what the HELL you're doing out here while The rest of M'boys are being considered unnecessary for TV!!!!! Mr. Y: Well...ummm...I, uhhh...I figured...yeah, I figured I'd come out here and (voice cracks) REPRESENT for the Demonweb! Yeah, that's right! Kyle: Yeah.......I figured as much......(Rubbing His temple...) Well you know what, Mr. Y? You get yourself over by wrestling MATCHES, not by giving rambling interviews that go nowhere fast. I appreciate what you're trying to do.....I appreciate what you're trying to promote.......But fact is, you're just wasting airtime. Now I'm gonna Ask you to shut the HELL UP and get backstage where you belong.....I want ARGIE OTERO OUT HERE NOW! Mr. Y: Backstage? But what about my airtime? I haven't been getting my (voice cracks) ti... Kyle: (Spinning around, eyes bulging) WHAT DID YOU SAY? WHAT THE F(BEEP)K DID YOU SAY? GET BACKSTAGE LITTLE MAN! Dan: Here come some officials, hopefully they'll clear the ring so this show can continue! Dima: YES! Do not delay the American Patriot's demise any longer! It is time for Mother Russia to rise again! Dan: Mr. Y and Kyle Bane reluctantly heading back to the locker room, as Andy Burton steps in the ring. Dima: Stand up Dan! Show respect for the greatest empire ever to grace this unworthy planet! Dan: Well, security has cleared the ring, and Dima, I guess you're.. Dima: It is time for you pathetic Americans to learn the error of your ways! Russian Roulette is going to destroy this Patriot! Andy: Ladies and gentlemen, this contest is scheduled for one fa... (Russian Roulette rushes out through the crowd and gives Andy the Russian roulette.) Dan: OH NO!!! Russian Roulette just took out Andy Burton!!! There was no call for that! None whatsoever! Now Dima is laying some cheap shots on Burton! But...oh no, here comes the American Patriot! The American Patriot is pounding on Russian Roulette! Now the Patriot with an Irish whip, and a clothesline takes him down! Now he clotheslines Dima out of the ring! Oh my! Roulette getting back to his feet, but the Patriot from behind with a bulldog! And the Patriot is a house of fire!!! Russian Roulette rolls out of the ring, and he's consulting with Dima, but the Patriot right out after him! The American Patriot taps him on the shoulder, and now he whacks him with a hard right hand! And an Irish whip into the steel barricade! Now the Patriot rolls Roulette back into the ring, but Roulette quickly back on his feet! The Patriot rolls into the ring himself, but Roulette immediately begins stomping on him! He's really putting the boots to him! Roulette grabs him and rakes his face across the ropes! Now he's choking him out on the ropes! Come on, ref! Russian Roulette backs off, but now he goes right back to it! Roulette now hits the ropes, and he comes down hard on the back of the Patriot! Referee Ramon De La Cerveza backs him off, but he rebounds off the ropes again, and...NO, the Patriot moves and Russian Roulette comes down in a rather compromising position! The Patriot now catching his breath as Roulette is in pain! The American Patriot turns Roulette around and a DDT puts him down! The Patriot now gives the signal for the Patriot Missile!! But Dima up on the apron, distracting the referee! Russian Roulette is getting back to his feet, and he is groggy! The American Patriot off the ropes, and....RUSSIAN ROULETTE PULLS RAMON DE LA CERVEZA IN FRONT OF THE PATRIOT!!! He just deliberately pulled Ramon De La Cerveza in the path of the Patriot! The official is down! Now Russian Roulette with an obscene gesture in the Patriot's direction, and he rolls out of the ring! Russian Roulette taking exception to the ringside fans chanting "USA, USA" and waving flags...oh no, not this! NOT THIS! RUSSIAN ROULETTE JUST TOOK OUT A FAN WITH THE RUSSIAN ROULETTE!!! Security is swarming all over Russian Roulette! They're taking him away! And the American Patriot is standing victorious in the ring! The American Patriot will win this one by disqualification, thanks to the imprudent actions of the unpredictable Russian Roulette! This man simply does not care! Dan: What are you trying to do?!!!?! That was an innocent fan! Dima: I told you! The gun can go off at anytime! Everybody plays the game, whether they like it or not! Dan: We've got to take another break! This is just a mess!